Scorpius Malfoy & Derealization - an alteration in the perception or experience of the external world so that it seems strange or unreal. Other symptoms include feeling as though one's environment is lacking in spontaneity, emotional coloring and depth. It is a dissociative symptom of many conditions, such as psychiatric and neurological disorders.
It wasn't always like this.
When Scorpius was younger—well, younger than fourteen—he felt a constant rapture at everything. The stars. The sea. The sky. Flying on his beaten up second-hand broomstick. The scent of his aunt's perfume. It all made him feel…alive.
(b-u-t t-h-e-n)
Something must have broke inside, he thought as the colors faded and burst.
Something he couldn't name.
Why, why, why did Roxy seem so far away? Any of the Weasley girls? Why did their hair dim like candles in the sun? Why was there spider-silk thin veils in front of every Goddamned thing that gave him a slightly meaningful purpose?
And then the worrying—
Five months in, this anxiety came out of nowhere. Suspicion was suddenly
o-r-d-i-n-a-r-y
and yet still
u-n-c-o-m-f-o-r-t-a-b-l-e
as a living hell. It was driving him mad—madder than usual, that was. There must be something serious, he thought. Maybe it's all part of some elaborate game…?
(for my birthday?)
And then, of course, he blamed his father, because if he was playing a trick on him, oh God this was awful, and what sort of father does anything like this to his only son?
But then he thought, no, it has to be Roxy. Her dad does own the joke shop, after all.
So then, in the middle of the Great Hall, he yelled at her and threw silverware while she shouted back at him (what the hell Scorpius, stop being such a freak) and then he was falling, and everything was swirling around him, and nothing would stop.