Thanks to HogwartsChamp on Twitter for giving me the idea for the title! Go follow her if you have a Twitter. (I'm CrisMcMullen)

"Well, no one really knows until they get there, do they, but I know I'll be in Slytherin, all our family have been—imagine being in Hufflepuff, I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?"—Draco Malfoy, pg. 77 Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (American English Edition, paperback)

Inspired by the first thought inside the boy's head, the Sorting Hat decides to teach eleven-year-old Draco Malfoy a lesson in making assumptions. Although this snap decision seems to ruin Draco's life at first, he quickly discovers that there's more to being at Hogwarts than what his family tells him.

Chapter 1: The Perks Girl

"Malfoy, Draco," the cross looking professor read from the parchment.

The blonde sauntered up to the hat and placed the hat on his head. He was so sure he was going to be like his father, mother, and nearly every relative he had had been in Slytherin. No one discussed the ones who weren't lucky enough. He had already planned to tell his parents to transfer him to Durmstrang Institute. They had hired tutors to teach him Norwegian from a young age to allow this happen, but his mother had decided against allowing him to go to school so far away. Still, being in Norway was better than being trapped in Gryffindor, or worse—Hufflepuff. He certainly didn't want anyone to consider him stupid.

The Hat covered his eyes. "How interesting," the hat whispered to the boy. "You don't seem to realize who you really are."

"How dare you!" the boy hissed back. He knew exactly who he was. He was Draco Malfoy, son of Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black and soon-to-be Slytherin. Why did a hat think it could tell him he wasn't who he thought he was? "I know exactly who I am! I don't need some enchanted old hat to tell me who I am!"

"Aw, you remind me of a girl I sorted not too long ago. All she wanted was to be accepted. She learned her lesson quickly, but you are a different story. It seems you have a certain stubbornness about you. This will upset you, but you need to learn. Don't get in a huff for you belong in HUFFLEPUFF!"

He was briefly surprised, but quickly became angry. He threw off the hat, startling the students. He stormed to the table in question and sat down with a huff, crossing his arms.

The only reason he looked up from the swirls table during the feast was when the girl that was sorted into Hufflepuff right after him asked, "Would you like some potatoes?"

He turned his head to shoot her a glare. Her name was Perks. "Who are you?" he demanded. "And what makes you think I want potatoes?"

"Oh. I'm Sally-Anne Perks." She greeted brightly. "And potatoes are delicious!" The girl held the bowl of potatoes in front of him. Her tight light brown curls were practically bouncing in his face. "You haven't eaten anything and my uncle says you should never eat dessert without something with less sugar in it already in your body."

He scooped some of the potatoes onto his plate. This girl was going to get on his nerves, he was sure of it. "Why is my diet suddenly your concern? You don't seem to know who I am."

"It's because you're upset," she said, matter-of-factly. "It's never good to ignore eating when you're on the verge of tears. Food's great for making you feel better."

Draco laughed flatly. "What makes you think I'm going to cry, Mudblood? I'm Draco Malfoy and Malfoys don't cry."

Most of the table gasped but Sally-Anne's expression only became confused. "What?" She shook her head, as if shaking off the nasty wizarding insult. She turned back to her food and picked at it, her perky attitude fading.

The food vanished, to be replaced by desert. Sally-Anne still didn't speak, but she looked like she was going to jump up and run the second they were dismissed. The girl sitting on the other side of Sally-Anne patted her arm. She flinched away, bumping into Draco.

His elbow hit his pumpkin juice, spilling it. "Now look what you did!"

She fell backward, onto the floor. "I'm sorry," she apologized flatly. "I didn't realize you cared about more about pumpkin juice than manners."

One of their fellow first years jumped to his feet and offered her his hand. "Come on, Anne. You know he didn't mean any harm by it."

"Thanks, Justin. And it's Sally-Anne." She ignored his hand and pushed herself off the floor. "But it's my fault. I didn't think that I was considered Muggle-born because my father was a Muggle and my mother was a Squib." She smiled at the Justin boy as she spooned some ice cream into her mouth. "Not that there's anything wrong with being Muggle-born."

Draco stared at her in disbelief. His father had told him that Squibs couldn't have children. "What?"

"My mother was a Weatherby," she said with a shrug, looking at Bones and Abbot instead of him. "So is my uncle."

"Weatherby?" Susan Bones asked from farther down the table. "As in the family that had five children, all of whom were Squibs?"

Sally-Anne nodded. "That's the one."

"I thought the male Weatherby died," Draco drawled. "What was his name again?" His father had mentioned quite a few wizarding families had died out in the past few decades. Draco was one hundred percent sure that the Weatherbys were among them.

Sally-Anne dropped her spoon back in the bowl, a sudden look of horror crossing her face. "His name is Elliott and he was alive at King's Cross this morning." She stared at Draco, her harsh expression looking strange on her round face. "Unless you know something I don't, Malfoy?" she asked suggestively.

So she does know who I am, Draco thought. "Why would I know about your uncle, Perks?" Sally-Anne didn't reply and Draco felt an angry heat rise to his cheeks. "Hasn't he taught you how to behave around your betters?"

Sally-Anne's eyes seemed to flash with anger. "You can talk to me about being better when they put the man who killed my parents in Azkaban, Malfoy."

Draco made a mental note to ask his father if he knew who killed the Squib with the Muggle husband and bothered to let their annoying daughter live. "I have nothing to with your parents' deaths, Perks. Just answer my question."

"I don't want to," she replied. She looked away from them, toward the staff table. "Look, the Headmaster is about to talk."

The Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, stood as the dessert disappeared. Draco ignored the old coot as he spoke and lead them in the worst song Draco had ever heard. In a matter of minutes, they were all standing, following fifth year perfects Natalie Murphy and Azimuth Kinish toward the cellars.

Sally-Anne lagged behind until a third year boy approached her and put his hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright, cousin?" Draco overheard him ask her. "A Malfoy—"

"I'm fine," she interrupted sharply. She looked at the group of retreating Hufflepuff first years, her eyes lingering on Draco longer then on the others. "I better run after them." She stepped away from him. "And I don't need you to comfort me."

Draco looked at her skeptically. Her face looked contorted and her eyes looked misty. "Who was that?"

"Cedric Diggory, my cousin." She walked past him and looked at him over her shoulder. Her brown eyes nearly burned with anger and fear. "If you were wondering, his father works for the Department for the Regulation of Magical Creatures. His mother is my mother's sister." She continued walking until she was right behind Murphy and Kinish.

Draco stood there, startled. He hadn't done anything wrong, unless she counted calling her a Mudblood. He hadn't been lying. There was no proof her mother and aunts and uncle were Weatherbys and frankly, he didn't believe her. She had an air of superiority that she didn't deserve

Kinish looked over his shoulder. "Move, Malfoy!"

Draco followed them, down the stairs in the opposite direction of the dungeons. "The Hufflepuff common room and dorms are in the cellars, near the kitchen," Murphy said. "We're not allowed to bother the house-elves."

"If I were you, I'd avoid the dungeons when you're not in Potions." Kinish looked over at Malfoy, his distrusting expression matching Sally-Anne's. "Professor Snape favors Slytherins like bats favor caves."

They stopped in front of a large round portrait of a small child holding onto a strangely docile badger. "Hello," she greeted. "I'm Gertrude. I normally won't be here." She put the badger down on the green lawn they were standing on. "This is Helena, the badger. There isn't a password here. Helena normally doesn't let non-Hufflepuffs in, but if they find the door and are nice, she might."

The portrait opened and the first years piled into a room shaped like the inside of a dome carved from a solid piece of rock. It should have been a cold place, but the walls were a warm brown. The room was full of over-stuffed yellow arm chairs and sofas and there were two fireplaces. Even Draco, who would have rather been in the dungeons, thought the place was welcoming.

Murphy and Kinish stopped the first years. Murphy called for the girls, leading them to the barrel shaped door on the left. Kinish waved the boys to the door on the right. "Our dorms are through this door." He opened it, revealing a tunnel. There were seven narrower tunnels off it, each one with their own barrel door and a number. The number 1 was at the end of the tunnel. Kinish stopped in front of it. "This is where the five of you will stay."

Draco followed the other first year boys into their dorms. Five four-poster beds with yellow curtains were evenly spaced in the round room. All of his roommates, expect Justin Finch-Fletchley, the Mudblood, were glaring at him. Zacharias Smith spoke. "Everyone knows your father killed the Perks. He claimed he was under the imperious curse, but we all know he was lying."

As far as Draco knew, his father hadn't killed anyone. He was sure Lucius Malfoy would have mentioned being accused of a crime like that. "My father will hear about this smear on our family name!" he said, grabbing a piece of parchment, his ink and quill out of his trunk. He stormed back into the Hufflepuff common. He sank into one of the golden over-stuffed chairs and began to write.

Father,

I need to be transferred to Durmstrang as quickly as possible. That bloody hat they use to sort us put me in Hufflepuff and there's a wretched girl named Perks that insists that you're somehow responsible for her parents' deaths. I'm sure this is nothing more than a lie her Squib uncle told her. She seems like a complete idiot, none the less. What's the best way to get someone expelled?

Draco.

He folded up the parchment and then yawned. The lights in the common room dimmed. He slept sitting right there, his anger toward the school and the Perks girl temporarily ignored.