A/N: I do not own Frieza or any of the DBZ characters. This story takes place before Frieza meets any of the DBZ gang, though Vegeta is in his service at the time. Frieza will be a bit OOC in this, but then isn't everyone when they fall in love?
Prologue
I watched the image of the new moon with trepidation, restless as always on such a night. For the moment I was alone, though I knew that wouldn't last. My men would not disturb me this night, they all knew the penalty for intruding. Even my second in command, Zarbon, knew that nothing was to interfere with my solitude on a night of the new moon, not even a life or death catastrophe. My men did not know the reasons why I was so fanatical about my wish for privacy on such nights, but they had seen me kill those who were foolish enough to seek me out. There were charts of the waxing and waning cycles of the Nayr moon in every hall of each of my ships and homes, so they were well aware of when a new moon occurred.
As the time clock set to Nayr time reached 10, the familiar pain began to rise within me, becoming almost unbearable. In it's wake came the sorrow. The pain I was used to. It never seemed to end, but on most days it was simply a dull ache, a constant companion from my past. The sorrow only surfaced on rare occasions, though it always came on a Nayr night of the new moon. The sorrow was far worse than the pain, because it always reminded me of the reason for my pain. It eventually reduced me to tears every time. Funny that I, the strongest being in the universe, was so weak that I could be routinely reduced to tears at least once a month. My tears did not shame me, but the reason I shed them did.
The laughter always came first, and tonight was no exception. The sound of it was sweet, pure, rich, full of life and utterly devoid of deception. Just like the person it came from. Upon hearing that wonderful sound, joy briefly rose within me, only to be drowned out by self loathing and regret. My throat closed in sadness and the pain within me continued to swell, tightening my chest with emotions. Part of me wanted to run, but I wouldn't. I had to put up with the pain in order to experience the bittersweet pleasure, you see, and so I remained. Waiting. Trembling like a child.
A soft light filtered into my room, and I forgot all that I am as a beautiful young woman ran through the doors, laughing. Her lovely brown eyes gleamed even in the darkness of my quarters, so full of emotions. Genuine ones, not lies. Her face was as I remembered it: ethereal, with flaring eyebrows, high cheekbones, a sensual mouth, and of course her eyes. Her almond shaped eyes…
Though I had seen it all before, I was floored by her. She was rather petite, only 5' and under 100lbs, with a tiny waist, incredibly long legs, and a magnificent body. Her brown hair fell to her shoulders in dark waves shot through with golden highlights, and I longed to run my fingers through it. I clenched my hands into fists to keep from touching her. I knew better than to try, I couldn't. She was no longer within my reach, though once I had held both her body and her love.
She began to dance around the room, singing and laughing in a way that was so familiar it tore at my screaming heart. Memories began to flow through me, to overrun my precious control, to reduce me to a wild state of near madness as I was forced to recall once again what I had lost. Several times as she swayed, she came within inches of touching me. Though I yearned for such contact, I knew it would never come. I could never touch her again, never hold her, never talk with her, never laugh with her, never make love with her. She was lost to me, and there was no one I could blame but myself. There was no going back for me, and it seemed I would never go forward either.
She suddenly paused to look back over her shoulder, and a second person appeared. It was a man. Me. Only years younger and far more foolish. As I looked at myself, I felt both envy and hate. How stupid I was during that time, and vengeful. So willing to let my pride dictate my actions, so quick to act and slow to think. So very unaware that I was living the best moments of my life with her.
"Tell me that you love me," she whispered, her voice causing my heart to pound in my chest even after all this time.
I knew she wasn't speaking to me, but my past self. Yet I couldn't stop myself from saying, "I love you," even as the image of me answered her in the same way.
She smiled, and my knees grew weak. "How much do you love me?" she asked in a husky voice that set my blood on fire and sent my senses reeling.
"More than life itself," I uttered, echoing the words of my younger self.
"Oh Frieza," she laughed, my heart twisting upon hearing her say my name, " you are always so intense! You must learn to relax."
She thought I was joking, but I'd meant those words at the time, and I still did. I would have given up everything for her. I would have sacrificed my men, my empire, my family… I would have died for her. And in a way, I did, the day I lost her.