I could still remember the pained look on my brother's face, almost like he had been betrayed. I had tried to keep it a secret from him for a few days now, but he had eventually found out when I wasn't there that morning to greet him in the kitchen like I always did.

I had found out about the recruitment late on a Sunday night. Things passed by like normal with my little brother out doing the dishes and I had been curled up on the couch with a science fiction novel. Something about someone taking a balloon to space. I didn't get all that into it until the phone rang, which turned out to be my superior officer in the military, Roy Mustang.

It was odd at first. He never called me and I knew something was wrong when he told me to make sure I was alone during the call. He told me about the Western borders of Amestris, about how Creta had issued an attack on that side because of accidental firing on our part. The two countries were supposed to have a piece treaty, but apparently that had been shattered in a matter of seconds. It was Roy who had to tell me the bad news. My first thought was that it was just a bad joke, maybe he would laugh and say "I just wanted to see how you'd react.", but no such thing happened.

Several of the Eastern sector unit were getting a transfer to the Western sector to help with the war. I was one of them. I can't even remember half of the arguments I spat at Roy, but my mind was in a panic.

There I was being perfectly happy finally living a normal life again, body whole and a flesh and blood brother, and there came Mustang ready to fuck it all up. I didn't even have alchemy anymore. How was he expecting me to even defend myself? That had probably been one of my arguments.

All he did was give me snide remarks and end the conversation by threatening me to be at Eastern Command for the departure or he'd shoot me himself. He musn't have been in a very good mood. Then again, he's never in a good mood. Smug bastard.

I did what I was told and met him a few days later, managing to sneak out early, avoiding Alphonse finding out. A train was waiting for all the soldier and I could spot a few people I knew already aboard, staring into space. No one was trilled with this. Mustang was waiting in his office, a plastic bag on his desk along with a case of... something. He never said anything, he only handed me the bag and threw the black case into my arms, storming out of the building. What was the point of that? I followed him however.

He glanced over his shoulder when he arrived at the train, making sure I was still there and hadn't bail. Although I would have liked to.

That's when Alphonse had come running towards the train. I had probably overheard the incident on the radio and put two and two together.

I panicked. There was no way I was going to let him know where I was going, I couldn't stand to see him cry, though I could tell he already was. I never had to worry about that before, since his armor never held any expression, but things were different now. I knew if I said goodbye, it would make leaving all the more difficult. I bolted inside the train without a second thought as the doors closed, making a barrier between myself and my brother.

I quickly took an empty seat at the back of the car as the train started gaining momentum. Alphonse had frozen stiff as a plank on the cemented train platform. He spotted me and gave me the most hurtful expression he had ever given anyone. I could see his dark brown eyes leaking tears, his arms remained by his side. Eventually I couldn't see him anymore as his silhouette faded completely. I could feel my heart being twisted in my chest, knowing what was going through his mind. But it was for the best.

It's been at least a day since that happened. I can't imagine what Al would be thinking now. Nothing had happened since then. I was still on the train, sitting alone like I had planned, occasionally getting side glances from Roy in the adjacent seat. Like I didn't hate him enough already, but now he was giving me these odd and almost concerned looks. It was his own damn fault I was being dragged out here, though there was no guarantee that's what he was thinking about. Maybe he was just looking at me in disgust for leaving my little brother like that. Whatever it was, all I wanted was for him to stop staring at me.

I gave him glances back, but not the ones that are rather pleasing. The little scum. He had promised he would do everything he could to prevent me from being forced out onto the field like this, but apparently he really didn't give a damn. He just wanted to see me squirm under his watch. All he cares about is his rank anyways so I shouldn't have counted on him for anything.

I'd been sitting in this uncomfortable seat for over a day now and my patients was slowly running out. I could always run off once we got the base and refuse to fight, but knowing the higher ups, they would probably shoot me. No doubt in my mind. If I wasn't noble enough to honour and help my own country, then there would be no reason for me to live in it. It made sense, to a gruesome degree.

My thoughts were interrupted by a younger officer who gave me a grin before sitting down across from me. It was Jean Havoc. One of the many officers who were also working under Roy Mustang, all a part of the same sinking ship. He could be a smart ass at times but he was definitely someone who was worth hanging out with.

"I thought that was you chief. I guess they dragged you out here too, eh?" he asked me with a sad smile on his lips, lighted cigarette hanging from them. "Not exactly how I wanted to spend my week, but that's the shitty life we soldiers live."

"You can say that again." I spat the sentence quite harshly but I wasn't directing it at Jean, but to Roy who was surely eaves dropping like he always did. Just a simple way for him to get information, though I didn't know what information he wanted.

"Listen, Elric, I know you're upset, but try not to take it out on anyone, okay?"
"I'm not upset!"

I knew he meant well, but I really wasn't in the mood for any bull crap. There was a reason I had chosen to sit alone, but clearly he hadn't caught on. And seeing Roy's reaction in the corner of my eye wasn't helping my mood at all. He had leaned over and whispered something to Riza sitting beside him cleaning her pistol. Jean simply rolled his eyes.

"You can try and hide it Elric and we'll see how far you get." he grinned, taking the cigarette out of his mouth. He let it dangle between his fingers as he spoke. "Even I'm upset about this whole thing. If I were still in the East, I would be heading out to see my sister tomorrow, but that plan was screwed over."

"I can't say I had any plans, but this is a pain. Maybe I should have asked for some kind of desk job or something that would help the military, but not actually be involved." I played with my hands as I spoke, my eyes were wandering at the crystallized frost patterns on the window, blocking out the passing scenery.

"Fat chance with that. I tried asking a few days ago, and they told me to "keep dreaming". Besides, you're an alchemist, they'd need you more than ever out there-"

"Not anymore."

"Not anymore? You mean you being an alchemist?"

I nodded, keeping my head down. It was a fact that I was pretty embarrassed about, though I'd never show it. Being the Fullmetal Alchemist was what I was known for, now I was just your average teenager who knows a thing or two about alchemy. What's the point of knowing about alchemy if I can't even use it? Though I'm not complaining, I'd rather have my little brother than alchemy anyways. That was the price I had to pay after all.

"You serious? I guess I've never seen you in action a lot recently."

He paused for a while. I knew what he was thinking. Throwing me out on the field now was an instant death wish, but it's not like he would ever say it.

"That's unfortunate." Was all he could think of. I knew the conversation was headed in an awkward direction so I quickly changed it.

"Were you the only one in the group who was dragged out here?"

"Unfortunately no. Braida and Falman were also taken along. Talk about desperate." He rolled his eyes, but I knew he had no intention of insulting the officers he was speaking of. Falman and Braida had never been the most reliable soldiers. They did their work and all, but they hadn't served on the field in years.

"What about Fuery?" I asked, watching him flick the cigarette ashes on the ground.

"He's already there. He was transferred about a week ago when the communication with the West was lost and he was sent up to fix the radios."

His voice trailed off. A look of worry crossed his face. I knew he was worried about him, since they were pretty good friends. Fuery was also someone who was working under Mustang and one of the more harder working officers, but hadn't received a promotion in months.

There was a silence before Havoc spoke again.

"What's in the bag?" he asked, pointing with his eyes towards the plastic bag beside me. I had completely forgot about it until he pointed it out. I shrugged before pulling back the sides. Whatever it was, it was fabric, and it was blue.

I sighed, raising the material between us. Jean echoed the same sigh, knowing what I was thinking. This was the reality of it all, there was no way to deny the Amestrian uniform I now held. I only took a glance at it before throwing it down beside me without a second thought.

"You're not gonna put it on?" Havoc asked, returning the cigarette to his mouth as a lack of things to do. I was the only one on the train not wearing a uniform but I only shrugged, returning my gaze at the window. He interrupted me again.

"What about the case? Looked in that yet?"

"Would you drop it!" I snapped. I already had an idea of what was inside the case Roy gave me, and I didn't want him sitting there for that reaction too. And Roy would surely be watching. "I'll look later. Don't you have something better to do than sit here and pathetically console me?"

"I was just making sure you're alright. I know this is gonna be a sca-"

"Well I'm fine, okay. So you can leave me alone now." I didn't feel sorry for saying that. I never looked at him while I said it; I didn't want to see his stupid sympathetic look. He left shortly after, saying nothing, and made his way to the front of the car to sit back with Falman and a couple other officers. I didn't give a damn if he was gonna gossip with them about me, 'cause I knew he would.

Roy quickly snapped his head away as I glanced over at him. There was always a reason why I called him a Colonel Bastard. He needs to learn to leave well enough alone. I'm going to yell at him yet, but once we were alone, I'll give him a piece of my mind.