Fingers around My Toes

By Lapiz Sagana

Summary: Everyone thinks Inoichi erased Shikamaru and Sakura's memories to end the rebirth case. Little do they know that the fight is far from over, and this unlikely couple is at the heart of manipulating the people they love the most in order to protect them.

Chapter One

Tsunade:

Temari from the Sand Village was already standing in front of my desk when Shizune and I entered my office. She was decent enough to sport her black kimono which hid her battle outfit; nevertheless, her fiddling with the fan in her hand betrayed the composure she projected.

Our previous encounters had given me enough opportunity to observe her. She was not the type of woman to be fazed by a confidential meeting with the Kage of an ally village, which meant that the matter to be discussed weighed on her nerves just as much as it weighed on mine.

The first time we met to discuss this particular matter, she had bothered to bow and to present a gift from the Lord Kazekage to show Suna's gratitude for not battling them on the wealth they had acquired from the legendary sepulchre. Along with the gift of an ancient sandglass had been the promise to invest further into the joint medical ventures between the two villages.

Now, Temari merely nodded at me and proceeded to voice her doubts before I could even round my desk and sit on my chair. She was eager to settle the matter quickly; so was I.

"There's no doubt that the Sand Shinobi who attacked Neji Hyuuga is one of ours," she said, putting her hand on her hip and frowning at the documents she had left on my desk. "But autopsy reveals that he's been dead two hours prior to the assault on your men. I hope that, since your autopsy results show the same thing, this incident will not strain the relationship between the Sand and the Leaf."

I allowed myself to sink into the chair. The soles of my feet throbbed, making me wonder how the hours had gone by in the operating room without my noticing them. I sighed and said, "We demanded to have our own medics - Kazuo and Isas - present during the autopsy not because we were suspicious of you but because we wanted to further prove your innocence. In case somebody unearths that event, you won't have to travel here with a legal team anymore. Our own records will clearly state that the unfortunate Sand Shinobi had been manipulated after his death."

"By Orochimaru."

"By Kabuto under the orders of Orochimaru," I clarified. "The threat isn't immeasurable while he's still half-paralyzed."

Temari glimpsed the door behind her. She folded her arms across her chest, her fan pinned between two of her fingers and tapping her hip. "Did erasing their memory help or did it worsen your chances of acquiring the information you need?"

Shizune scooped TonTon from the floor and told him to keep quiet. He kept snorting and kicking until I couldn't take his noise anymore and I ordered Shizune to walk him in the park. He was probably more hungry than usual but he wouldn't tell me. I waited for the door to be shut and locked before I responded to Temari.

"We had to choose between solving the case and disappointing Orochimaru." I crossed my legs and looked out the open window to my right. "We can still solve the case without any help from Sakura, Shikamaru, and Sai; albeit doing so would be harder. Nevertheless, increasing our burden is far better than risking the chance of Orochimaru getting what he wants from those three shinobis."

"You are working with a much smaller team than before?"

"Yes, and with much lesser time. Jiraiya is regularly scouting outside the village, pursuing Orochimaru's trail and eliminating any threat that has any hint of finding its origins with that snake. I have to thank you again for agreeing to cooperate with us during the Jounin Exams. It will make protecting Sakura easier, knowing the Sand has its eyes open for our enemy as well."

She lifted one corner of her mouth, the closest she could come to smiling right now. "It will reflect poorly on us if the Haruno girl were to be abducted within the Sand's premises. She has given Lady Chiyo's lifelong work incredible justice. Perhaps that is the primary reason I am baffled by your request to fail her in the exams."

"You're a smart girl – er, young lady – I'm certain you've had your assumptions."

"You don't wish to give her a role that requires travelling out of the village as squad captain. At least, not while Orochimaru is hunting her down."

"Precisely."

"But she is not Orochimaru's main target."

"Yes, Shikamaru is at the heart of the problem."

"When I said that I was baffled by your decision to withhold Sakura Haruno her due promotion, I meant that I do not see why you are giving her security the same importance as Shikamaru's when Orochimaru must already know that the absence of her memories will have decreased her usefulness to him."

"The motive for her capture – if Orochimaru chooses to and succeeds in capturing her – will be impossible to fabricate. We are stressing the non-existence of the rebirth case, Miss Temari. Our actions revolve and evolve around that truth."

Her brows lowered over her eyes. Her gaze sharpened, but it was not threatening; rather it was contemplating, patient, and wise. "Are you considering the chance that their memories will return to them?"

"There is no chance of that."

"But the mind infiltration-"

"Is only as strong as their conviction on the lie we told them," I said as I reviewed the autopsy report from Suna. Their medical eloquence had improved a great deal since collaborating with our team. "Yes, that's true. However, there is no chance that erased memories will return. They are erased - not depressed so as they can surface when the subjects hit their heads against the pavement. The closest we come to developing a concern for that is the chance that they will grow suspicious and attempt to uncover the past."

"Their memories are already gone. Won't briefing them on the rebirth case prove harmless? You explained to me in our previous meeting that only the scars left by the rebirth are dangerous. I assume that those scars won't return even if they are reminded of the case."

I sat straight on my chair and tipped my head sideways, allowing myself to contemplate her wisdom. "Well, the secondary purpose of the mind infiltration was to push them apart."

Her brows rose and her mouth gaped. "Oh. I see. So until now you are making sure that they don't get ...involved...a second time."

"Shikamaru has willingly gone through extreme heights for Sakura's salvation. Orochimaru might use her as hostage and Shikamaru might outsmart the rest of us again and risk his life." The memory of his dying body on the Third Training Ground swarmed my chest with anxiety. I diverted my attention to the autopsy report again before the remembrance of stabbing Sakura could make me wince.

"And so far they haven't shown interest in each other?" asked Temari.

"Apart from the initial inconvenience that will have on the case, it will be disadvantageous to Shikaku Nara's plans for securing Shikamaru's position as his heir," I said. "Shikamaru isn't in the proper health to be deployed out of the village, nor is he in the proper position to be minding anything other than his inheritance at the moment. All the help we need from Suna is regarding Sakura Haruno's wellbeing since she is the one who is advancing quickly in the ranks and becoming of great appeal to the other villages. Leave Shikamaru to us. His father has already formulated a plan for his future, anyway. He is so clever that he even managed to include this case in the solution he's come up with. It's safe to say that this case will meet its end soon."

Temari blinked several times at me. This was the first she had indulged me with such an innocent stare. "And what kind of solution can that be?"

I smiled, pretending to be smug when deep inside I was hurting for Sakura.

Shikamaru:

I heard the men's rumblings from the adjacent room. The Pillars of the Nara Clan, as we called them, had been in a conference with dad and a medical expert sent by Lady Tsunade since breakfast. The hours had passed, but the tension in their pitch and the awkwardness in their periods of silence had not once failed to frustrate me. I was continuously being drained of hope, but I remained sitting straight and drinking my tea as though nothing could break me. Mum sat opposite me. She lifted the china to her lips with her right hand and tapped Yutsuki to sleep with her left.

My little sister rolled to her side and spread her arms on the floor. She would wake up from time to time to look at me, as though to check if I had deflated and passed on to the next life. She was a curious creature with that habit of hers. It was as if she knew exactly what was running in my head.

Uncle Toya, mum's older brother, kept the sliding door to the garden slightly apart. He had joked earlier that keeping all the doors shut would suffocate us. After all, the Naras had a way of sucking the air in the room until there was none left for the other living beings to use. Mum had smacked his head and retorted that while that joke had been funny before she married Shikaku, it was now offensive because she had two Naras of her own to think of.

I glimpsed him through the gap of the sliding door. His back was turned to us as he watched the trees drizzle leaves onto the pond at the farther end of our garden. His grey hair danced with the blowing wind. His fingers maintained their grip on his cup of tea. Even though he was too talkative for me to endure, I loved him for standing by mother's side whenever conundrums like these would arise. Mum would not admit it, but dad and I were sure that Uncle Toya's presence meant the world to her now of all times.

I stared at the pool of green tea sitting at the bottom of my cup. It barely caught my reflection. I saw my ponytail, though, and the spikes of hair it had gathered as my crown. All my life, dad told me I would succeed him. All my life, he and mum prepared me for the task I was bound to shoulder once I come of age.

It only took an ambush in the cave from Ryo, my reckless but successful attempt at reversing the rebirth jutsu on Sakura, and a dangerous quantity of physical disabilities to turn the tables against us.

I had no idea what would come for my family tomorrow. What if dad failed and the Pillars would not concede to the clan's laws? What if the expert medic that Lady Tsunade sent to us could not convince them of the lie that I was not medically capable of fighting for my inheritance in my current state? They were trying to buy me one more month to recover. What if the Pillars could not wait that long?

I saw mum inhale and exhale, and I could tell that she was tired.

Yutsuki opened her eyes to check on me again. I winked at her and she resumed her nap.

I bowed my head and said, "Mum, what if I lose?"

"You can't." She smoothed the skirt of her kimono and swallowed hard. "Your father is doing his best."

The sliding door of the adjacent room opened. We saw the silhouette of the men as they filed into the corridor and walked past our room. One of them glanced my way, and I cringed even though I knew that he could not have been looking at me on purpose. He could not have seen me, either. Why had I reacted like a frightened cat?

Mum poured tea on the empty cup next to hers. She carried Yutsuki to her lap and listened with me as father thanked the expert medic. The silhouette of a woman glided past our room. Dad opened the door and greeted us with a sigh.

Uncle Toya stepped in, too, and resumed his seat beside me. "How was the battlefield, Shikaku?"

Dad kissed mum's temple and sat down. "Master Mori nearly leapt over the table to strangle me. Sometimes, I wish I do not have to outwit them. Surrendering to their insanity would have provided me with the peace that I deserve."

"Sorry you I had to make you go through that," I mumbled.

Dad sipped his tea. "Still sulking? Tsk. I didn't say that to imply that you are a burden, son. You should have gone to the training grounds to exercise your shadow manipulation jutsu."

"I thought tradition is important."

"Tradition my ass!" He slammed the cup on the table. "They should have lowered their damn heads when you greeted them at the gate! They should have bid you farewell by retreating backwards until they reached the front door! You should have gone to the training ground and showed them that they aren't worth a second of your time!"

Mum removed her hands from Yutsuki's ears when she was sure that dad's outburst was over. "Shikaku, tell your son you didn't mean that."

"Of course I meant it!" He slammed his hand on the floor. "But I am glad that you rubbed the point of proper conduct on their faces! They should be ashamed of themselves! They treat my son as though it's certain that – "

"Dad!"

He froze; his mouth wide open and his arms flung in mid-air.

I stood. "It's okay for them to treat me that way. I don't mind. Let's just focus instead on what we can do to fix this."

Uncle Toya brought out a flask of sake from his knapsack and tossed it on dad's lap. "Calm down, Shikaku. We understand that their behavior is maddening, but Shikamaru has a point – "

"What did you conclude in the meeting?" Mum grabbed his hand and redirected the conversation, knowing that dad hated being lectured by his 'underlings'.

His twisted face relaxed with mum's touch. He mumbled his gratitude to uncle for bringing sake, consumed the contents of the flask, coughed, and answered, "As usual, I won them over. You have one month to recover, Shikamaru. It isn't what they said in the meeting that makes me angry – it's their behavior towards my own flesh and blood. Shikamaru, you will do everything in your power to repress those Pillars once you're chief, do you hear? I can bet my life that those old people would already be dead by that time. The future heirs don't need to be bullied by greedy men like them."

Mum hit his head. "You hypocrite! Don't go ordering you son to do that when I've worked so hard to raise him to be a respectful and loving young man!"

"It's family politics, Yoshino," he said as he jiggled the flask beside his ear to check if he had really finished the sake. "We've agreed to stop from keeping Shikamaru in the dark about these damn things. Aren't I right, Toya?"

"The world is evil," he said.

I rubbed my neck and felt my skin go hot. "Dad, what's the plan? Everyone knows I can't recover in one month. The Pillars only agreed to that because they're sure of my disability. They think they just have to wait thirty days to replace me but I know you've got something else in mind."

Uncle Toya stood and offered to take Yutsuki to her room. Mum thanked him and transferred the bulbous little girl to his arms. He bowed to my dad to mock him and left the room. Dad groaned his disapproval of him.

Mum massaged her forehead. "Shikaku, spit it out. Spare my son from further agony. He can handle it."

"Dad, you've snuck behind my back long enough. I need to know the plan."

"You'll meet your fiancé next week." He closed his eyes and flattened his hands on his thighs, entering the pose that told me he would not be bothered after he was done speaking. "She belongs to a sub-group in the Nara Clan and is the only one of the many candidates who has agreed to wed you with the kindest of conditions – that I promise to support her brother's financial standing and help them regain their title as the primary guard of the clan. A marriage between you two would suffice for your current disabilities and quiet the conundrum until you regain your health."

I descended to the floor. The air thickened around me and my slowed my breathing. I could not speak. My legs numbed beneath my weight. A vein in my neck throbbed.

Mum scooted close to me and squeezed my shoulder. "You need a partner who is physically strong, Shikamaru. After you've made your proposal to her and she accepts, you can stand in front of the Pillars and proclaim that you have solved their principal concern that has become the basis of your near termination. They no longer have to worry about the time it will take for you to recover your original prowess; you'll have a wife from the clan's guards who can fulfill the role that you are temporarily barred from fulfilling. Shikamaru, listen to me. You don't have to marry her given that you do recover fully."

My fists trembled. My whole body trembled. "And if I remain a cripple for the rest of my life, I will be the joke of the clan. I will be the only head who relies on the strength of a woman to defend him!"

I walked out of the room. Mum called after me, but dad told her to leave me alone. He said, with a voice abounding in confidence, that I would accept this plan because I was smart and I knew this was the safest course to take.

Suddenly, as I was marching out of the house, I remembered the events two weeks ago when Sanae, Sakura, Inoichi, and I solved the mystery of the rebirth case. We'd been working five months on it then, and as soon as we found the answer, Lady Tsunade ordered for that knowledge to be stripped from us. Inoichi took it from our minds – even his, although it was a longer and more difficult process – and sealed it in a scroll that only Lady Tsunade could break.

Sakura and I stood abreast in that barely furnished underground room while the rest of them turned all our files into piles of ashes. Five months. We envisioned that moment to be happy and overwhelming with relief, not exhausting beyond words. We'd fought our way through five months of being casual in public, ignoring each other as much as possible, and meeting only in the confines of the underground room where the rebirth and all its secrets were kept.

Now that it was over we had no more sanctuary to sustain our relationship. Our orders were to act normal while Lady Tsunade manipulated my father, Kakashi, Jiraiya, Neji, Nohara, and the rest of the team into believing the mystery wasn't solved. She'd justified it by saying it was the only means to keep Orochimaru off the right track. "Until we have guaranteed that the rebirth jutsu is no longer a threat," she'd added, "you're not allowed to reveal that you didn't lose your memories. I forbid you to show affection for each other in public. It will take only one wrong move for Orochimaru to realize we're playing him."

Shizune, recognizing our fatigue, had been kind enough to arrange a bunk for Sakura and me that same evening. We lay on the bed, arms around each other, and slept for only four hours because she was due to leave for Suna at dawn.

Sakura had buried her face on my chest and asked me something I wished I hadn't told her to repeat. "Do you think we should give it a rest for a while?"

Once I heard her correctly, I wanted to shake her back to when this struggle started five months ago. Shake her back to the version of her who encouraged me to make the most of what we had. We promised each other we'd try.

In the end, I let her leave without looking at her. I knew we tried and she was entitled to have this 'rest' she asked for. This secret relationship with me had only sucked the spirit out of her. Sometimes I wished Inoichi removed our memories of the case for good instead.

I pushed open the front door. Sunlight blinded me for a couple of seconds. I raised my arm over my eyes to shield them.

I strolled the outskirts of the village, wanting peace and failing to find it. Choji would have provided a suitable distraction by reciting the recipe of her mother's newest dish, but he wouldn't be here until tomorrow afternoon. The Jounin Exams had just concluded in Suna two days ago. Ino, Choji, Kiba, and Sakura had participated. Once the results come out, I would be the only chuunin in the batch. Worse; with my current skills, I barely qualified for that rank.

The wind poured on me with the strength of a waterfall, forcing me to lay on the grass and to watch the clouds.

"This will work, Sakura," I whispered, hoping by some miracle she'd hear me wherever she was. "This is a fucking drag but I'll make it work."