My friend dared me to write this, so here is probably the weirdest lemon fic you've ever read. XD
P.S I don't own twilight :(
"Lets talk this over, its not like we're dead." Bella shut up when Edward raised an eyebrow at her.
"Bella, I am dead," he said.
"Just because your heart doesn't beat doesn't mean your not alive."
"I cheated on your Bella," he said with a straight face. A small smile play on his lips as he thought of the one whom he cheated with.
"W-what? W-w-with who?" Bella was on the verge of tears.
"A penguin." He grinned.
"What the fuck? You can't be serious Edward. Is this your idea of a sick joke."
"Its not a joke."
"What kind of penguin would want to fuck you? You are not penguin mating material."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me."
"Your not even mad that I cheated on you with a penguin?"
"No, I'm mad that you sucked Eric's dick though."
"That was NOT me who did that, it was Emmett!"
"Rose would kill Emmett if he cheated on her, Ed."
"What she won't know won't hurt her."
Bella was suddenly serious. "I want to meet this penguin."
"A-are you gonna hurt it?" Edward was hesitant.
"You don't even care about the poor baby if your calling it an it! and no I'm against penguin violence."
"Fine..." Edward walked out of the room and came back with a cage covered by a sheet. He removed the sheet and there was the most sexy penguin Bella have ever seen in my entire life. It was about 4 feet tall, black on the back, white on the belly and face, except for this little spot on the chest where it's feathers looked like it had on a bow tie, and it had a 3 and a half inch beak.
"DAYYYUUUMMMMM" Bella shouted out loud by accident and the penguin winced." sorry!"
Edward smirked.
"Edward why are you keeping her in a cage?" Bella asked as she let the penguin out of its cage.
Edward cleared his throat. "J.B II is a boy."
"You named him after Justin Bieber?" She looked at him weirdly, "that is seriously wrong."
"No... I didn't name it after. J.B II stands for Jacob Black the second."
"Oh now that is way wronger. You should name him something else thats fitting." Bella said as she kneeled down and cuddled the penguin.
"And what would be more fitting?"
"Pablo!" Bella said with a smile. The penguin clapped and honked happily at the name. "See he likes it too."
"Bella, isn't Pablo what you named what you named those eggs last week before Charlie cooked them and you cried about it for days?" Edward asked.
Bella began to tear up a bit. "Pablo and Paco were wonderful egg twins, they would have grown to be very handsome young men." She wiped her eyes, "but that's not the point."
Edward rolled his eyes. "What do you want, Bella. Go home."
"Can we do one more thing before you dump me for good?"
"Sure." Edward said without thinking.
"Anything I want?" Bella said with puppy dog eyes.
"Yes anything, I promise."
"I wanna have a threesome with you and Pablo the penguin!" Bella said while still hugging the penguin.
"WHAT? NO WAY!"
"You promised anything!"
"But not that!"
"If you don't do it then I will go to the Volturi and tell them your exposing vampires."
Edward gasped, "you wouldn't!"
"I would." Bella looked dead serious.
"Fine." Edward grumbled. "Wash up, wear something sexy and go into my room."
"I took a shower right before I came here Edward, I'm clean!"
"Okay, well go upstairs and put on something sexy."
Bella skipped up to Edward's bed room and took off all her clothes, then she laid on Edward's bed in nothing but her red lacy panties. She waited anxiously for Edward and Pablo, half embarrassed and worried that Pablo won't like her body.
About ten minutes later Edward walked in with Pablo behind him, he closed the door while Pablo was distracted by Bella's body, Bella's body was a lot different then any female penguin at the zoo or Edward's.
With vampire speed Edward tied Bella's arms and legs to each end of the bed.
"What the hell, Edward?" Bella shouted as she struggled against the expertly tied knots.
"It was Pablo's idea. He thought it'd be kinky to have you tied up while we fuck you."
"oohh," Bella blushed.
"Now be a good girl and let us guys have fun, and trust me, you won't need these." Bella ripped off Bella's panties, he looked at the seat of her panties and sniffed the moister; his eyes got darker with lust at the scent. Edward stripped of all his clothes and his 6 inch penis was standing tall and proud at the sight of Bella.
He looked at Pablo and they both nodded. They walked to either side of Bella. Edward grabbed a hand full of Bella's right breast, and Pablo rubbed his flipper along her left nipple. Bella let out a breathy moan at the feeling and watched them both. Pablo rubbed her nipple some more and used his other flipper to feel the underside of her breast and flat stomach. Edward leaned over and sucked on Bella's nipple, causing her to arch her back and moan. Edward firmly pressed on Bella's stomach, making her lay back down. Pablo attempted to copy Edward and pecked Bella's nipple; she gasped at this.
"Okay switching time." Edward said as he stood upstraight.
"Switching time?" Bella questioned.
"Yes," he then looked at Pablo, "you take her bottom, I take the top."
Pablo nodded and waddled over to the end of the bed and was eye to eye with Bella's naked pink pussy. He curiously poked her clitoris with his flipper, Bella jerked her hips and surprised and moaned. Alarmed, Pablo honked at Bella's pussy in warning and pecked her clitoris angrily. Bella began to moan and jerk her hips more.
"Calm down Pablo, that just means she likes it." Edward reassured the angry penguin. Pablo had the strangest look on his face, it was quite comical.
Edward chuckled then straddled Bella's stomach.
"Edward, why is your bare ass on my stomach? Your kinda heavy." Bella asked.
"I've always wanted to do this." Edward said as he pushed his cock between Bella's boobs and started humping her breasts.
Bella was highly uncomfortable with this. "What. The. Fuck. Edward."
"You don't like it?" He asked confused.
"Your weird, why would I enjoy your dick between my boobs, what will I get off that?"
"In that case.." Edward moved up Bella's body and put his arms on the headboard to hold himself up, his cock close to Bella's face.
Bella bite her lip as she stared at Edward's pale cock, then looked up at Edward. "You want me to..." she gulped, "suck it?"
Edward nodded.
"Edward, I've never..." she trailed off, a pink blush on her face.
"Just try." He said encouragingly as he pushed his cock towards Bella's lips. Bella opened her mouth and Edward slowly pushed into Bella's mouth until he reached the back of her throat, she didn't even gag. She had her tonsils token out a few years ago, her mother always said that that would help with oral sex but she didn't believe it was true.
Bella licked and sucked on Edward's cock as he began to rock his hips into her and moan. While Edward was fucking Bella's face Pablo, still face to face with Bella's pussy, curiously began to slap her pussy with his fin repeatedly, Bella moaned around Edward's cock.
Pablo then began to peck Bella's clitoris again, roughly, then curiously he bit on her clit and pulled it back, curious as too if it would come out. Bella screamed out in ecstasy, almost choking on Edward's cock.
Pablo took that as a good sign and pulled harder, he actually pulled off a little piece of her clit but she didn't notice because the pain mixed with the sick pleasure. Pablo then stuck his beak deep in her hole, breaking the barrier that marked Bella's virginity. Once his beak penetrated her most private area, Bella gasp in pain and blood gushed out towards Pablo's beak, Pablo screamed (as much as a penguin could scream) and backed away, his from Bella's body. This scream startled Edward and made him jerk his hips so roughly into Bella's face that it went straight through her throat, and he smashed her skull, cumming hard.
Once Edward had emptied his load and caught his breath, he began to panic and jump away from Bella, his cock and hips covered in blood. He was so thirsty, his vampire within took over and jumped on Bella's body and began to drain her from her breast. He ripped out her heart, licked the blood off it before tossing it to Pablo. The artery landed on his beak and he struggled to get it off.
Once Edward drained Bella and gained back his control, he freaked. "We have to hide her body." He said the Pablo as he helped him remove Bella's heart from the beak. Edward stared at the heart. "Oh Bella I'm so sorry," he teared up as he hugged the heart and accidentally squeezed it too tight, making blood squirt out.
"Just let me eat some of her meat, then we can take her to the woods, burn her body and hide it underwater where no one will find it," said a deep, rough voice.
Edward stared at Pablo in shock. "YOU TALK?"
"Fuck yeah I talk, and if you think that's surprising you should see my dick, ITS ONE HUGE BASTARD." Pablo then adjusted himself in out came a humongous 36 in length, 10 inches in diameter.
Edward stared at it wide eyed then fainted.
Pablo took this advantage to roll Edward over and rape Edward, taking away his ass virginity.
-...-...
"And that's what will happen if Edward ever cheats on Bella with a penguin and bites it during sexual intercourse." Emmett finished his story with a matter-of-fact voice.
They all stared at him weirdly.
Renesmee looked horrified.
Rosalie had a look on her face that said 'i can't believe I'm married to this man.'
Carlisle and Esme just shook their head.
Jacob had a 'what-the-fuck' face.
Alice was having a vision.
Edward was first disturbed, he would never admit it but that story aroused him so he had began to rub his cock through his pants under the table.
And Jasper was staring at Edward with a raised eyebrow, shaking his head.