Public Records
Summary: "This semester is going to suck." It was their last year together at Konoha Prep Academy before they start university. Amidst kisses, misses, and disses is the sacred Book Including All Things Crappy/Happy a.k.a.—the BIATCH.
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This book BIATCH belongs to:
Pinkette
Cinnamon Buns
Goldie Locks
Lady Lavender
Return this at:
The Secret Underground Association of Cool People.
To get there, click your sexy, red heels together three times and say, "There's no place like home."
See ya there! :D
Contact this person at:
1-800-N-UR-DRMZ
Additional Information:
This a lot of trouble for one notebook…
It's not just a notebook, Hina, it's SACRED! It's all-knowing, wonderful, magnificent, and all those other great adjectives. It's an important documentation of our last year together. It's kind of a bummer actually. I mean, I am GRADUATING next semester! We're all splitting up for university, and I'm going to miss you idiots. Why do you think I'm stressing so much?
PMS, perhaps?
You're ruining the moment, jerk! Besides, this year's going to be tough for you guys too.
They say junior year is murder, and that it actually caused people to drop out. But that's just a rumor, right Ten-chan?
Absolutely. (NOT)
Come on, how crazy can it get?
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The wheels on the bus go round and round
Tenten-chan must be getting a kick out of this. The BIATCH (truly, wonderful name, props to Ino-pig for that one) is finally in use after an entire summer of abandonment. (Seriously, it felt like we were playing a really big game of Hot Potato.) Not even Tenten used her precious creation.
Anyway, I'm afraid our Book is going to have a really pathetic beginning…
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When one departs for boarding school, you'd think one's parents would be heartbreakingly miserable or at least a little dejected, but no—this is not so. It went a little something like this:
[Bang! Bang! Door wrenches open fiercely]
The Panicking Goddess: Mom! What are you still doing in asleep?! You have to get up! Hurry!
Procreator I: …Sakura, go back to sleep.
[Muffled mumbling]
The Enraged Goddess: I can't! You're supposed to take me to school today. I have to be there by six, remember?
Procreator II: …Aksjadfk…
(He really isn't a morning person)
The Exasperated Goddess: Very suave, dad, really. Can we go now? It's already eight o' clock!
[Sighing in an agitated way]
(How on earth can they possibly be irked with ME?!]
Procreator I: Just…go wait in your room while I get ready, ok Sakura?
[Grumbling and NOT happy about this AT ALL]
The Somewhat Placated But Not Really Goddess: Fine.
[Two and a half episodes of the 'Simpsons' and two chapters of To Kill A Mockingbird later…]
Procreator I: Sakura? Are you ready to go, sweetie?
The Exploding Goddess: I'VE BEEN READY FOR TWO HOURS!!!!
[The Bane Of My Existence emerges in his soccer uniform]
B.O.M.E.: What's the psycho screeching about now?
(It's pronounced "Bomb" by the way)
The Glaring Goddess: Go away, moron.
Procreator I: Be nice, children.
[Turns to B.O.M.E.]
Procreator I: Inari, why are you dressed like that?
B.O.M.E.: Well, if I played today's game in my pajamas, people might look at me funny.
The Ignored Goddess: Are you sure it's not just your face?
[Glaring contest]
B.O.M.E.: Shut up.
The Older And Wiser Goddess: Clever, very original. Really.
Procreator I: Enough you two. [Ignoring her oldest and dearest] Go wait in the car, Inari. I'll be right there.
[B.O.M.E. leaves the room]
The Betrayed Goddess: Mom—!
Procreator I: Relax Sakura, I'm sure your father can take you to Konoha.
The Defeated And Totally Not Sulking Goddess: Whatever.
[Procreator II comes into view dressed in a suit with his cell phone pressed to his ear]
Procreator II: …Okay, I understand…Yes, that's fine…Yes, sir…Good-bye. [hangs up and faces Procreator I] Honey? I'm going to the office now. My client needs to see me for something very urgent. I'll be working at the firm all night.
Procreator I: But sweetheart, I need you to take Sakura to school.
[Frowns in confusion]
Procreator II: I thought you were taking her.
Procreator I: I have to take Inari to his soccer game. Besides, I thought it would be a good chance for you and Sakura to spend some time together. Can't you take her this year? Just this once?
Procreator II: You know I'd love to, but something just came up, and I really can't get out of it.
Procreator I: Are you sure you can't cancel?
[Procreator II shakes his head in that well-that's-just-too-darn-bad way that he always does. B.O.M.E. returns, annoyed]
(Just not as annoyed as I am.)
B.O.M.E.: Mom! I'm going to be late!
(Again, he comes up short compared to me.)
Procreator I: Just a minute, Inari. Be patient.
[B.O.M.E. groans obnoxiously and stomps away]
Procreator I: What are we going to do? Sakura has to be at school by tonight.
Procreator II: You know I'd take her if I could, but I have to work.
Procreator I: [Frowns in disapproval] You're always at work nowadays. Sakura needs you.
Procreator II: Sakura knows how much I love her, and it would be unreasonable for her to ask more of me than I can give her right now.
[Angry tones]
Procreator I: Does she? Does she really know that?
Procreator II: Well she should!
(Somehow, I don't think they're talking about me anymore.)
[Collective sighs; a voice carries into the room]
B.O.M.E.: MOM!
The Fed Up Beyond Belief Goddess About To Have A Breakdown: You know what? Forget it, I'll just take the bus.
Procreator I: [Contemplates it for like, half a nanosecond] Well, it would save us a lot of trouble.
Procreator II: [Digs around in pant pockets] Here's enough money for the bus fare, and also for school. Use it wisely.
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And that is how I ended up on the stupid bus, stuck with an old lady whose perfume smells like cheese and pickles and her super freaky (grand?)son. Like really, I think he has Asperger's Syndrome (Haha, ass-burger, I'm freakin' hilarious) or OCD.
He's already rearranged his backpack, like, fourteen times. (Who knew it was possible to fit three books, two shirts, a walkman, cassettes, a notebook, and a complete set of utensils into that tiny amount of space?) He keeps taking everything out and putting it back in. Once every five minutes or so I get annoyed, so I accidentally bump his elbow and BAM—chaos. You'd think it was the end of the world.
Ah, for all the little hidden joys.
…
I freaking HATE the bus.
And I'm disowning my parents.
-Pinkette
Comments Section
"Wow…would you like some cheese with that whine?"—Cinnamon Buns
"No thanks, I'm still reeling from that knuckle sandwich you gave me. :D"—Pinkette
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Of all the crappy nights
So, my bus was late.
By three hours.
Did I mention I hate the bus?
I met Anko-sensei in the front office. (Okay, whose brilliant idea was it to have her greet the new arrivals?)
Yeah she sent me to the dean's office. Who knew Tsunade-sensei worked late? Well, sort of anyway. I suspect alcohol was involved. I wasn't close enough to actually smell her breath.
If she was drunk I must say, I'm impressed. It's not easy to lecture someone and pace around the room in three inch heels, while inebriated. (Not that I'd know from experience or course. I'm just an angel. Please don't be jealous Ino-pig, I can hear you roll your eyes.)
She said she'll have to notify my parents about my (their) misdemeanor.
I haven't even been here for a full hour yet, and I've already been busted by the dean.
Right now I'm in the dining hall eating dinner since I didn't have anything on the bus. (The OCD kid refused to share his bagel with me.) The food is disgusting, more so than usual on account of it being the left-overs.
Hmm…I'm contemplating whether or not I should give the three of you each a wakeup call. It's unnaturally quiet at midnight.
Nah, it'd be three against one, and I remember the last time I woke Tenten up for no good reason.
Scary.
Le sigh…
I have a feeling this semester is going to suck.
-Pinkette
Comments Section
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"At least you're here…?"—Lady Lavender
"HA! I laugh."—Pinkette
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"Jeez, what's with all the moaning?"—Goldie Locks
"I don't know, pig, you tell me. :D"—Pinkette
"Shut up."—Goldie Locks
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To: Pinkette
From: Goldie Locks
Yo, Sakurat. Pick up your phone and text me back.
You still haven't told us about your schedule. Muy
importante.
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TBC…
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Written sentiments are so classy.
Yeah, I know. I'm like forty. But I'm really not.
And even though one of the characters who has possession of the notebook, there might still be comments because the others will read over it and then comment it when they see it. It's kinda out of order but whatever…can't say I care too much.