Part I - The Bestiary

The Bestiary contains all the mythological monsters you've grown to love to hate.

Exhibits 1-3

Exhibit I. Scythian Dracenae

Quote unavailable because our quote gatherer keeps disappearing whenever we send him to these guys. Maybe if we tried a girl instead...

Vital Statistics:

English Name: Scythian Dracenae

Greek Name: Δρακαινα Σκυθια

Latin Name: Dracaena Scythia

Parents: Gaea

Notable Offspring: Skythes, Agathyrsos, and Gelonos by Heracles (ew)

Kolaxes by Zeus

Short Description: As Godzilla's dream girlfriend and Medusa's cousins twice removed, these monsters hold the reputation of being both dangerous and ugly.

Appearance:

As we all know what Medusa looks like, it makes it a little easier to picture Scythian Dracenae, since both have similar traits such as green skin, snakes for hair, and an insatiable hunger for human flesh. Some men say that these are beautiful women and some have even slept with them (like Heracles), though most have been scared away as soon as the clothing come off. From the waist down, two serpentine tails reminiscent of octopus legs take the place of feet.

Occupations in the Modern World:

Most Scythian Dracenae have left their homeland of Scythia and have spread across the globe. Let it be known that wherever these creatures are found, it gives female rapists a new meaning. We will leave that information open to interpretation, since if we told the truth, you will be emotionally scarred for life. Trust me.

Occupation in the Ancient World:

They were the leaders of the Scythian tribes, until Heracles came along and started a line of kings to replace them. No wonder they hate men as much as Artemis.

Exhibit II. Macrocephali

"Who are these things again?"

"My emperor, I believe we've found aliens." - Nero and his advisor after visiting a tribe of Macrocephali

Vital Statistics:

English Name: Macrocephali

Greek Name: Μακροκεφαλος

Latin Name: Macrocephalus

Parents: Epaphos and Gaea

Notable Offspring: Only within their own species, fortunately

Short Description: While a long neck is a mark of beauty (according to Aphrodite), this tribe must've taken the goddess's advice too seriously. Not only do they have a long neck, their heads are also twice as lengthy then the average human skull. You'd think that this would make them twice as smart, but sadly, these guys still don't know the difference between boxers and panties (as evident by some of the men's choice of undergarments).

Appearance:

A tribe of Africans/Indians that have extremely long necks and heads. Just don't mention their strange physique, and you should be fine. The emperor Nero accidentally did, and look what happened to him! He burnt his own city down, and said he would defeat his enemies by dancing!

Occupation in the Modern World:

They roam around the Sahara, in search of people who could insult them, just so they can drive them mad.

Occupation in the Ancient World:

They roam around the Sahara, in search of people who could insult them, just so they can drive them mad. (some people never learn)

Exhibit III. Talos

"Talos big and strong! Talos not let you get Europa! Talos - Why is Europa all squished up like that?" - Talos after he stepped on Europa

Vital Statistics:

English Name: Talos

Greek Name: Ταλως

Latin Name: Talos

Parents: Forged by Hephaestus as a son, probably because he couldn't attract any women at the time

Notable Offspring: Why on earth would you ask for the offspring of a bronze giant? ...can they even make babies?

Short Description: While a giant naked man forged from bronze would usually belong in a museum (if not a porn magazine), this guy just doesn't get a clue. Maybe it is because of his parentage that he is emotionally retarded, or just the fact that he's an automaton.

Appearance:

A giant with an awesome tan. He's as clueless as Percy sometimes, since he pelts approaching things with rocks (even potential girls). He is the last generation of the Bronze age of men. No wonder those guys got wiped out.

Occupation in the Modern World:

This giant has settled down as a little statue in the gardens of Versailles. He has gobbled down the occasional royal family member, which usually causes catastrophic wars across Europe.

Occupation in the Ancient World:

As a gift to Europa from Zeus (yeah Zeus, I totally wanted a giant bronze statue…), it seemed to be more of a curse for Europa. It basically destroyed any chance of Europa having a good love life after Zeus just dumped her on Crete. That is, until Jason and his Argonauts came in and destroyed it. Europa's cause of death is uncertain, though she may have been accidentally stepped on by her giant protector.

Any suggestions on the next few? I need at least 3, maybe 4.