Story: Big Brother
Author: Queeny C
A/N: Okay, so I should totally be working on The Campaign Man, but I was re-watching the Born This Way episode last night and my heart just bursts with excitement when Burt gives the 'keep an eye on your brother' line and Finn readily agrees. And for some reason this little scene just lodged itself into my head and I couldn't avoid writing it even though I'm sure there are like a million versions of this out there already. So…yeah…anyway…hope you like it.
Finn had known the conversation was going to be awkward the moment he made the decision to have it. So awkward, in fact, that he'd tried on several occasions to try and talk himself out of it.
But then Kurt came home one night from their one-month anniversary date (and really, what kind of saps celebrated one-month anniversaries, anyway?) with a smile on his face that Finn had never seen before. He followed Kurt up to the bathroom, a Jack-and-Jill style, two-sink number that joined their two rooms in the new house and reminded Finn every morning that he had a brother now to look out for. He knew Kurt was in this relationship heavy when he didn't immediately kick Finn out of the bathroom as he began pulling out a his various facial products and lining them up along the bathroom counter while he hummed 'Teenage Dream' under his breath.
"Need something, Finn," He asked, catching his brother's eye in the mirror.
"You love him, don't you," Finn couldn't quite stop himself from asking because, God, he felt like an idiot for not seeing that one sooner.
Kurt's face colored brightly and his eyes grew wide. "We-we've only been dating a month," he murmured, casting his eyes down sheepishly. And that's when Finn knew that he'd have to have that talk with Blaine. Because there was no way he was letting that look on Kurt's face go. And if Blaine hurt Kurt, well, he knew 12 Glee club members who'd help him dispose of the body.
He kinda wished that his plan wasn't going to piss Kurt off so royally, because under any other circumstances, his brother would've been suitably impressed with his deviousness.
It started with making Kurt late.
Never a good idea under normal circumstances and exacerbated by the fact that he was, in fact, making Kurt late for a date.
But brothers had to do what they had to do. So Finn had waited to go for his daily run (and by daily he meant weekly or monthly or whenever it was more important than zombie smashing—which wasn't very often). This put him in the shower at the exact moment that Kurt needed it.
The glare he'd received as Kurt pushed past him into the bathroom thirty minutes later was almost scary enough to be a deal breaker, but Finn was serious about this brother thing. He'd promised at the wedding and he was going to hold on to that.
Interfering with Kurt's primping routine gave Finn exactly what he needed: roughly ten minutes of time alone with Blaine.
"Oh," Blaine said, his triangular eyebrows (they always reminded Finn of caterpillars, which was really distracting when he was putting on his intimidating older brother face), "Finn. Uh…is Kurt ready?"
"No," Finn said, motioning Blaine in. "He's running a little late."
"Kurt?" Blaine's incredulous tone wasn't entirely unwarranted. Kurt was a serious bitch about being on time for things.
Finn just shrugged and didn't divulge his part in the delay. Chances were good that Blaine-the-Perfect-Boyfriend was going to tell Kurt about this entire conversation and Finn was not about to incriminate himself further by admitting he'd planned to make Kurt late.
"Look Blaine," He said as soon as his brother's boyfriend had taken a seat on the couch. The Warbler lifted his eyebrows again curiously. "I like you. I mean, you seem like a cool guy and you and Kurt have, like, a lot in common or whatever and I think you're really good for him 'cause he's always smiling now and humming Katy Perry songs and he normally hates those." Finn didn't miss the pleased smile that crossed Blaine's face at the Katy Perry bit. "But I'm warning you now," and Finn really hoped he looked as scary as he was feeling, "If you hurt my little brother, I will literally kill you."
"Finn, I—"
"I'm serious, Blaine." Finn continued in rush. He needed to get all this out before Kurt showed up and killed him instead. "Kurt is amazing and he hasn't always been treated as good as he deserves. Not even by me and some of the people he calls friends. Not even always by you. But he is my brother and I love him and if you hurt him I will have to hurt you. Even if I don't want to and I think you're mostly an alright guy even if you did make him cry once."
"I made him cry? But—"
"And it won't just be me dude. Every guy in New Directions and probably some of the girls—definitely Mercedes—would be on you like that," he snapped his fingers for emphasis. "And don't even get me started on what Burt would do. You know he has a shotgun, right? But even if every other person in Kurt's life didn't follow through, I'm telling you, you had better not hurt my brother because I definitely will!"
Finn sighed, having finally gotten all of his threat out and fell tiredly onto the seat beside Blaine.
Blaine waited a beat before turning to face him. "Are…are you done?"
Finn nodded.
Blaine sighed. "Good. And…for the record…if I ever hurt Kurt again, I give you full permission to destroy me. You're right, you know? Kurt…he's pretty damn special."
Finn grinned and nodded his agreement.
"Honestly," Kurt's voice scoffed from behind them. Both boys twisted around sheepishly to find the person in question with his arms crossed over his chest, a raised, unimpressed eyebrow and sour twist of his lips. "Did it ever occur to either of you that I am perfectly capable of taking care of my own problems? Or, for that matter, that I might be the one hurting Blaine?"
Finn looked between his little brother and his friend on the couch and shrugged. "Fine," he said, "Kurt, if you break Blaine's heart I'll break you too."
Blaine's cough sounded suspiciously like a chuckle before he choked out, "Aw, thanks Finn."
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Finn, you're lucky I love you."
"Duh," Finn agreed.
That at least seemed to make Kurt smile fondly as he motioned for Blaine to grab their coats and head out.
"Oh, and Finn," Kurt said just before he stepped out of the house. "When I get back I'm going to hurt you for making me late just so you could threaten my boyfriend."
Finn gulped audibly in the now empty living room.
Sometimes it wasn't easy being a brother.