A/N: Hooray for two of my favorite things! I randomly got the idea for this and had to get it out of my system. Please let me know what you think. :)
And there is definitely a little bit of OOC in here, but that's kind of the point. ;)
I do not own Ranger's Apprentice or The Big Bang Theory.
Halt: I made coffee.
Will: I don't want coffee.
Halt: I didn't make coffee for you. This is my coffee.
Will: Then why are you telling me?
Halt: It's a conversation starter.
Will: That's a lousy conversation starter.
Halt: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.
Will: You can read in your room. Why don't you just have breakfast in bed?
Halt: Because I am neither an invalid nor a woman celebrating Mother's Day.
Halt: For God's sake, Will, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?
Will: You have a sarcasm sign?
Halt: Are you asking me or telling me?
Will: Telling you?
Morgarath: Embrace the Dark Side!
King Duncan: That's not even from your franchise!
Halt (to Gilan, about Will): Gilan, I told you if you don't put him in his crate at night, he just runs around the forest.
Horace: Well, the only way we can play teams at this point is if we cut Erak in half.
Erak: Oh, great, cut the foreign guy in half. There's a billion more where that came from.
Horace: When we tell the story, let's end it differently
Will: What are you thinking? A big musical number?
Pauline: I couldn't even think of anyone else while you were gone.
Halt: Me neither. Except for one night when the heat went out. Long story, it's… don't ask.
(after Will is taken by Skandians)
Halt: So much for Will's apprenticeship.
Gilan: Well, we'll always have the night the heat went out.
Halt: I'm a Ranger. I have a working knowledge of the entire universe and everything it contains
Will: What's a mandola?
Halt [after a moment's pause]: I have a working knowledge of the important things.
(after passionately kissing Cassandra)
Horace (to all jealous spectators): That's right, you saw what you saw! That's how we ROLL in Redmont!