A/N: Kind of depressing...just was feeling like writing some Sasodei...first yaoi pairing fic...so sorry if it's not that good. Ooh, angsty romancey goodness! I apologize if the characters seem OOC...first time writing Sasori into a story. So he'll more than likely be a tad OOC. Story line is changed a little bit...or a lot...it depends on your take.

*Flashback*

Deidara was sitting on his bed. It was quite comfortable. Yet, he couldn't help but notice something was a little off. Well, maybe more than a little off. He hadn't seen Sasori for awhile now. And he was pretty sure Sasori would let him know before he went on a solo mission. He didn't hate him that much, did he? So Deidara decided to look around for a note, because it was possible that his danna had left a note on the desk or something. So Deidara did just that. He searched the entire base before looking on Sasori's bed. It turned out there was a note there. And Deidara's smile turned into a frown as he read it.

Dear Brat,

I know I'm not perfect Deidara. But...I'm farther from perfect than I would like to be. In fact, there's so many things I wish I didn't do it's overwhelming. But I guess the only thing I can do is learn more about emotions...even try feeling more. I never meant to be so incredibly horrid to you, and now that I look back...I have certainly done terrible things. I wish I didn't do them. So, because I am leaving, I want to tell you something.

I've found a reason to change. To become more like a person...with more human like qualities and emotions. So in essence, change who I used to be. A reason to completely start over with my life. Do you want to know the reason? Look at yourself then. That's right. My reason is you.

I'm sorry I hurt you so much. It's something I'm living with every day. It's not a good feeling, to say the least. All the pain I put you through, I wish I could take it all away. I wish I could erase almost every interaction we've had. Except for the few good ones of course. I wish...we could start over. That...I could be the one who comforts you when you're sad, not be the one who makes you that way. That's why I'm changing. That's exactly why I'm changing everything.

I need you to hear something. I want you to know that now that I'm leaving, you and everyone else will be better off. Much better off. You'll be happier...and you won't be depressed all the time. You should never be depressed again...at least because of me. The reason I am leaving is you. Don't take that the wrong way or anything. It's truly a good thing. I'm leaving so you'll be happy again.

I'm not a perfect person. I never meant to hurt you, or just be downright nasty to you. I never meant to scorn your art, or go out of my way to be rude to you. So I'll change for you. I've found a reason to show the side of me you didn't know. A reason for everything I do. That reason...is you.

I love you though, and I'm sorry brat, but this is goodbye.

-Sasori

Deidara read and reread the letter several times to process exactly what was happening. Sasori left. He was gone. Forever. He almost chuckled. No. Not if he could help it. If he had to travel around the world eight times he would...if he could only find his danna. Because no matter how stupid he was...no matter how hopeless he was with emotions, Sasori was the one for him. And Sasori had definitely made the wrong move. He should have just apologized in person and then Deidara would forgive him. In an instant. But no...Sasori had to be Sasori and just left a stupid note to apologize for everything and explain that it was for Deidara's own good that Sasori was leaving. What an idiot.

So Deidara decided to tell everyone his dilemna. Hopefully at least Konan would understand and give him advice for the best course of action. He slowly approached Konan's room. He knocked cautiously. Konan shoved the door open. "Who the hell- oh! Hi Deidara! Is something wrong?" she asked. He nodded and held up Sasori's note. As she read it over she frowned.

"...what do you think I should do Konan?" the blonde bomber questioned. She thought for a moment before replying carefully.

"I think...you should wait for awhile before looking for him. Don't even look for him, just listen for rumors of a red haired pale man. Or a very ugly puppet," she joked at the end to try to lighten the mood. Didn't really work. He just slowly nodded.

"..Thanks for the advice."

"Anytime! Why don't you go hang out with...um...HIDAN!" She suggested. Deidara nearly laughed in her face. When he hung out with Hidan, the world would probably explode...not that that would be a bad thing.

"...Right...I'm gonna go now," he chuckled nervously and bolted to the room he used to share with Sasori. He figured Konan's advice was fairly good. Maybe Sasori would end up coming back! He wouldn't want to be out looking for him if Sasori were to arrive...

Which probably wouldn't happen. But Deidara told himself it could, he lied to himself to feel better. Because jsut this once, he would live in a fantasy for awhile. A fantasy in which Sasori might come back...

Even though Deidara knew he wouldn't.

Mostly because if Sasori believed it was for Deidara's own good that he left...then he'd continue to stay away. he'd continue to not come back. He'd continue to leave Deidara alone. Because Sasori was Sasori and that's how Sasori did things. Because he was...a total idiot when it came to things like that. He would never listen...

Oh well. Deidara would take Konan's advice and listen for rumors. He figured eventually he'd find Sasori.

*Four Years Later*

Deidara was sitting in the kitchen of the hide out with *le gasp* Hidan. He still laughed at the thought he had had just four years previously. 'The world will explode when I hang out with Hidan'. And damn, he couldn't believe it had only been four years. Four years...without Sasori to argue with about art. Without Sasori to go on missions with. Without Sasori to scold him for being even one little minute late.

It sure was lonely. Even with his new best friend Hidan...hah. Yeah. Best friends with Hidan. How...unpredictable. "..yes, un...unpredicatable..."

"What the fuck did you just say? I didn't fucking hear you," Hidan yelled. Deidara sighed. That was one thing he could do without. Hidan's constant shouting and yelling and swearing like a sailor...or perhaps even worse.

"Nothing Hidan. I was just muttering to myself, un," the bomber explained. Hidan nodded and started devouring the bowl of cereal that...someone(Kakuzu) had uh, 'convienently' left on the table. Deidara almost pointed out that it had been Kakuzu's, but didn't. He wanted to see how the miser would react. That would be quite a show...

"...Hidan..." And there was Kakuzu. Hidan turned and glared at his partner.

" 'Da fuck you want?" he yelled. Kakuzu pointed to the empty bowl in front of the Jashinist.

"What is that?" he asked, his voice...sickeningly sweet. Hidan looked down and then laughed.

"An empty fucking bowl."

"...what was in that bowl?"

"Cereal.."

"...Hidan, that was my god damned cereal. You have to pay for it now," Kakuzu said angrily. Deidara just held in his laughter as Hidan turned red with fury. The Jashinist stood up, grabbed a bow of cereal, grabbed the empty bowl and slammed it on the counter, and poured another bowl for Kakuzu. He then proceeded to put milk in, then poured the bowl and it's contents down his unsuspecting partner's cloak. Deidara couldn't help himself this time. He started laughing his ass off.

"There's you're fucking payback fuckwad," the silver haired man yelled, then he stormed off to his room so Deidara wouldn't end up getting involved in the fight sure to come. Because yes, even villains care about their friends. Ironic, right? Kakuzu stomped after him, and soon after that you could hear pain filled moans throughout the base. A few minutes later Konan walked in with a big smile plastered to her face.

"...in the mountains a few miles from here...I heard a villager talking to someone about a local artist with red hair. Sounds promising Dei," she told the blonde. His face lit up. Could it be...?

"Thank you Konan! Tell Leader-sama I'm leaving for awhile..." he asked. Konan nodded.

"Will do! Good luck! I'll inform Hidan later..." she laughed. Deidara nodded.

"Alright, I'm off!"

The walk, or rather, fly, to the mountain village was rather tedious. Deidara really didn't want to have to wait to see if it really was his danna in the village. He really hoped it was...although Sasori probably wouldn't remember him much. Ah well. As long as he found him. And that he did.

Deidara walked into the village and began asking random villagers where the local artist was. They all pointed him towards one house. So he decided to just knock on the door. Loudly. There was no response. Deidara didn't care. He had waited four years for this...but...he wansn't waiting any longer damnit! No longer! So he he just barged in. And saw a sleeping form. With red hair...and...metal coming out of his back. Yeah..that was Sasori. "...danna..." he whispered. Sasori shifted in his sleep to face Deidara. Then, being the clumsy person he was, Deidara tripped over something, landing right on top of the puppet. "Lovely..." he muttered.

Sasori's eyes shot open. Something was on top of him, he could feel the weight. He slowly turned up to see what, or rather who, was on top of him. "...Brat...?"

"...You're still calling me that, un?" was Deidara's slightly amused reply. Wonderful. He made himself look totally stupid, then, to top it all off, he asked a stupid question as well. Great. Plus, he hadn't seen Sasori in four years. Shouldn't he have...been more intelligent? Say something...smarter that that? Oh well...it's not like he could restart the entire meeting.

"...You still say 'un'?" was Sasori's comeback. See? He's intelligent. He can come up with a remarkably good comeback. Great...now Deidara feel even dumber.

"...touche," he managed to reply. Sasori smiled a small, amused smile. "...Oh my, you really have changed! You can smile, un!"

"...I take it you read that note...I had been worried you hadn't read it," the puppet said. As if Deidara wouldn't read it. Of course he did! It...almost hurt his feelings that his danna had actually worried about that.

"Of course I read it...danna."

"...After all these years...you still call me that. Why?" Sasori asked. He didn't seem to understand the concept. Deidara chuckled.

"Why? Because, un. You're still special to me. That's why I kept looking for you for all these years, un. Although, I was worried you'd forget me," he told the red head. The puppet's eyes visibly widened.

"...forget you? Don't make me laugh. How could I forget you, brat? You're the reason I changed my life. You're the reason...I left. Because..." he started, but broke off. Deidara looked at him. Well, more like stared at him.

"Because why, Sasori?"

"...I can't tell you. There are a million ways this could go wrong, and you'll most likely laugh in my sad little puppet face," he chuckled dryly. Deidara was shocked. For two reasons. Sasori just...laughed, and Sasori was unsure of himself. Sasori believed...that Deidara would laugh in his face. Deidara almost laughed at that. Yeah right. Yes. He came all this way just to laugh in Sasori's face and say, life's WONDERFUL without you! I don't miss you at all! Thanks for nothing asshole!

"JUST TELL ME AKASUNA NO SASORI OR I SWEAR TO FUCKING JASHIN I WILL PERSONALLY KILL YOU," Deidara yelled. Sasori's face fell. Now he looked even more unsure. Shit. He hadn't meant to be that harsh. "...Look. I'm sorry. It's just, I spent four miserable years looking for your sorry ass and now you won't even tell me something!"

"..you mean...you were not happy with me out of the picture?" Sasori asked. Deidara nearly face palmed, but figured that wouldn't go well.

"..DUH. I missed you danna. You...made me happy," he said simply. Sure, they got in arguments and such, but that was okay! That didn't mean...they hated each other. Deidara looked to see if the puppet's expression had changed. Sasori looked slightly happier, but it seemed a bit...bitter sweet.

"...I can't go back Deidara."

"Why, un?"

"...I...just can't. I can...barely even defend myself, let alone go back to the Akatsuki..." Sasori muttered. Deidara's eyes widened.

"...Danna...what do you mean, un?"

"...Experiment gone wrong..."

"Did you do it to yourself on accident, un?" the blonde asked. He saw Sasori's expression turn to absolute rage. Not good...an enraged Sasori was most definitely not his friend.

"NO. You can blame this...on Orochimaru. He managed to take away most of my chakra...when he tried to steal my body," the puppet boy hissed. Deidara cautiously(they had gotten up and moved fairly far away from each other at this point) scooched over to the red head and tentatively wrapped his arms around him. He heard the Sasori's breath hitch.

"...I will kill him danna, if it's the last thing I do," Deidara told him. Sasori smiled. A genuine smile. And Deidara thought it was truly the most amazing thing he had ever seen. But of course, he didn't voice that. The blonde's face heated up when Sasori cautiously wrapped his own arms around the bomber's thin frame.

"...I'm alright Deidara. I just..can't go back. So don't ask that of me," Sasori told him. Deidara nodded and began unconsciously toying with the puppets red hair.

"You never did tell me what you wanted to tell me..." the blonde sighed.

"...because I...I..."

"You what?"

"...love...you," the puppet finally said, then he quickly braced himself for the rejection, the heart ache, the pain...but it never came. Because Deidara just hugged him tighter.

"...I love you too danna. I've been waiting for those little words for years," he smiled. Sasori looked at him in wonder...and...true happiness, for one of the first times in his life. True and complete happiness.

"...Is that...the truth? Or...are you just toying with me..."

"Danna! As if I would lie like that. Of course I love you, un," Deidara said reproachfully. Apparently, Sasori was still unconvinced.

"If you can truly prove it, I'll believe you," he told the blonde. Deidara smirked. Prove it he would. So he took the puppets lips in a rough kiss. Sasori widened his eyes and was too shocked to respond. The bomber's smirk widened.

"There. Convinced yet?"

"...Yes...brat."

The end...or is it?

A/N:...happy about how this came out. It could end here...or it could be multi-chaptered. Depends on what you guys want. Sorry if it's all a bit confusing, and I couldn't resist adding a bit of humor. You can't have Kakuzu and Hidan without humor. So, hope everyone liked and please review!