"Why are you so sad?"
"I squashed a pregnant cockroach when I was ten and cried for an hour."
Connor had been trying to fill an awkward silence, thrust into the room by Kevin Price, who for the most of the last week had taken to staring at walls and going for long walks wishing for rain. There was a time when a remark like this might have got him to laugh, but Kevin had been acting so distant lately nearly every tiny thing set him off.
"What would make you happy?"
Kevin shrugged, making a non-descript 'mmm'ing sound.
It took all his strength just to stand up. He left Connor by himself in the living room of their perfect little blue home crammed in between two much taller houses on a suburban terrace, a white picket gate out front, a dog in the backyard, a ring on just the right finger. Connor tried not to take it too personally.
He decided to give his husband some space. Maybe it had been a bad day at the office, or maybe the weather forecast was sun. He found Kevin almost an hour later, crouched by a cardboard box in the attic. Kevin had been sorting through the papers and photos crinkled by the damp, a pile beginning to form next to him.
Connor laid a hand on Kevin's shoulder, giving it a small squeeze. He didn't really have to tell Kevin he was there, his husband had sensed his presence, the air around him stirred by small clouds of dust kicked up by Connor's careful footfalls.
"How did you know?"
"How did I know what?"
"That it was pregnant."
"It had one of those looks."
"Ah yes of course, the pregnant cockroach look."
"Do you remember this?"
Kevin held out a photo he'd taken out the box. The familiar faces, statically smiling up at him, made Connor feel an immense pang of nostalgia. The pair of them were there, looking literally ten years younger, arms carelessly slung around each other' waists, as were the rest of district nine.
"Gosh you look good..."
Kevin instinctively smiled at the compliment, his vain nineteen year old self shining through.
"Now I'm just worrying about my receding hairline," Connor said, running a paranoid hand through his hair which looked pretty much exactly the same as it did in the photo.
Connor silently shook his head as he saw nine unruly non-regulation hair cuts, which meant a photo taken post-excommunication. Ten bright smiles, not a care in the world, saving lives, taking care of each other, just being happy. The black and white uniformed men stood out against the yellow sulfurous cloud behind them. None of them had been sure what it was, but one day a strange bright yellow cloud of fumes had drifted out over the lake.
Like most nineteen year olds, the need to capture this moment outweighed the high probability of this cloud being dangerous and highly toxic. Which of course it had been.
The next day, Connor was dealing with his fellow elders throwing up furiously in their very small and only bathroom. Fond memories, he could almost smell it, the dust, the heat, the sweat, the fumes of that cloud that might have turned him blind. In a way it had all been worth it.
"I could hold your hair back?"
"Go away Elder Mc-"
The rest of Elder Price's choked sentence was interrupted, and Elder McKinley winced from the other side of the bathroom door as he listened to the retching inside. Pressing his ear against the wood he tutted sympathetically and went back to the kitchen to soak some more flannels in cold water. After dropping one off to every elder, half of them asleep, the other half writhing in their fevered sheets, he returned to the bathroom.
"Elder Price...? Kevin...?"
He tentatively turned the door handle.
Kevin was kneeling on the bathroom floor, tie loosened, breathing heavily.
"Kevin? I've made your bed, and some tea, and I have some nice cold flannels. Please just come to bed."
Elder McKinley knelt down beside Kevin and felt his forehead. "It doesn't look like you have much of a temperature, you'll be fine in the morning."
"In the morning?"
"Yes, in the morning," Elder McKinley affirmed, concerned at the deliriousness in Kevin's voice. His eyes were closed, and despite the lack of rising temperature he didn't look exactly well.
"Please come lie down." Elder McKinley gave him a reassuring nudge, he didn't seem to want to move.
Putting an arm around Kevin's shoulders and another under the crook in his knees, Elder McKinley carefully lifted Kevin. He was surprised at how light he was, it was barely an effort to lift him at all. Maneuvering the door with his foot, Kevin was carried by his district leader to his bedroom and then gently laid down on top of the sheets. A flannel was wrung out and placed over his forehead, then Elder McKinley tip-toed softly to the door.
"If you need anything, I'll be right next door."
Elder McKinley knew that he'd be pulling an all-nighter just to make sure that all his boys made it over the back of the fever in as much comfort as possible, but he was prepared and willing to do that for them.
"Elder McKinley?"
The voice was so soft and quiet, barely travelling across the darkness to the doorway.
"Yes?"
"Will you stay here tonight?"
"I'll be right next door don't you worry."
"No, I mean...here."
"Oh."
Elder McKinley glanced to the lightly snoring form of Elder Cunningham in the bed next to Kevin's. He went back over to the bed and sat on the edge, picking up the flannel and lightly dabbing at Kevin's forehead. It didn't take long for him to drift off, involuntarily nuzzling into Elder McKinley's lap in his sleep.