[MA] Explicit, mature theme. Reader's discretion is advised.
One bright sunny day, three little yordles were frolicking in the fields. Lulu, Tristana and Teemo were their names. They were going to Bandle City, but they had to cross the bridge over the river. Under the bridge lived Trundle, a mean troll who didn't let anyone pass.
"The bridge is the only way to get across!" exclaimed Teemo.
"How will we get past Trundle? He is not a very nice troll." said Tristana.
"I'll try to go first!" Lulu answered.
Lulu bravely walked towards the bridge. Trundle jumped onto the bridge and yelled in a mighty voice, "Who dares cross my bridge? I will gobble you up!"
"No way Trundle, up we go!" Suddenly, a humongous root sprouted up from the ground, knocking Trundle high into the sky. Lulu and Pix dashed to the other side of the bridge before Trundle had even landed on his bottom.
"I'm up next!" said Tristana, readying her cannon. She hurried to the bridge.
"Who dares cross my bridge? I will eat you up!" said Trundle in a great loud voice.
"Only if you can catch me!" Tristana jumped high into the sky as Trundle angrily waved his club overhead.
"I've got to make to the other side!" Teemo remarked. He walked towards the bridge.
"Who dares make a mockery out of me? I shall eat you!" roared Trundle.
"Give it your best shot!" Teemo fired a poison dart at Trundle, landing square in the neck. Trundle yelled in pain as his face began to swell, leaving him unable to see in front of him. Taking the opening, Teemo dashed to the other side of the bridge until suddenly-
**BAM**
As Trundle blindly thrashed about, his club found home on the side of Teemo's head, violently throwing him to the ground. He had been too careless.
"Hahaha, little yordle! Did you think you would get away?" As Trundle's sight began to return, Teemo knew he was in a world of trouble. The blow had left him in a daze as the world around him spun in circles. "I'll make you suffer, and then I will eat you!"
"Please… Trundle… I just wanted to-" His sentence was cut short as Trundle's massive foot rocketed into his stomach. Teemo could feel his ribs breaking as Trundle's foot plunged into his stomach, before the force of the kick sent him flying into the side of the bridge.
Lulu and Tristana cringed at the sight, as if holding up their hands would somehow lessen the blow. "Pix, do you think you can help Teemo?" Pix reluctantly shook his head.
"Please! Help me Trist!" cried Teemo, coughing blood onto the cobblestone.
"You little shit! You think you can get away? I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY YOU LITTLE SHIT FUCK!"
With a sickening crunch, Trundle's club slammed down on Teemo's leg. It exploded like a paper bag full of red vegetable soup. He screamed in pain as he clutched his bloody stump, tears streaming down his face. But Trundle wasn't done.
He bent down and grabbed Teemo's protruding femur and violently tore it out of his body. All of Runeterra could hear his screams of pain, until Trundle returned Teemo's leg bone, by shoving it down his throat.
He gargled and choked on his own vomit, tears and blood while Trundle laughed a hearty laugh. Further spiting him, he took the small yordle and rubbed his face into his lower regions, a disgusting mix of shit and troll genital perspiration, taking extra care to wipe his ass with Teemo's face.
"Please Trundle, I don't want to die!" he cried, as Trundle whipped out his iguana to piss on the half-dead yordle.
"I've changed my mind! I am smart enough not to want to eat something drenched in my own piss. I will not eat you little yordle." He smiled as he pulled up his loincloth. "But I would like to give you a lesson, something that you do not know about trolls." Teemo tried to, albeit slowly, pull himself to the end of the bridge. He could barely breathe with his leg jammed down his mouth, and the puke burned inside. Trundle towered over the little yordle.
"Do you know what the most combustible thing in Runeterra is?" Teemo couldn't answer with a punctured lung and a huge bone lodged in his throat. He did wonder about how a troll could know such a complicated word, as he dragged his bloody broken body across the bridge that now seemed to span for miles. "It is a tie for first place. Obviously, yordles are." He bent down next to Teemo, holding his head down with his club. Whispering into his ear, he said in Chiller font,
"And the close second is troll piss."
Teemo's eyes widened as he realized what was about to happen. He turned around with an outstretched hand, "NO PLEASE WAIT-"
The small yordle exploded into flames as the sparks from Trundle's flint flew into his face. Trundle laughed maniacally as the screams from the flames died, along with the yordle. Leaping off the burning bridge, he glanced at Lulu and Tristana.
"I'll be waiting! When I get a gap closer, you'd better watch your backs…"