Most of my notes will be at the end of chapters, but I felt it helpful to mention upfront that for my purposes, Danville is Danville, Illinois. Why? It's within a day's drive of Mt. Rushmore and, while not beach-front property, it is reasonably close to Lake Michigan, and is part of a tri-state area. As for the other locations the boys have been to and back within a day, well, for that, we'll have to trust their ingenuity and suspension of disbelief. As Mystery Science Theater 3000 reminded us so well, there are times that you have to repeat to yourself, "It's just a show; I should really just relax." But, hey, if you can cook up a plausible-sounding explanation, as long as you're having fun, go for it! And is it just me or is seeing Linda sleeping with Lawrence's picture while he's away in "Mom's Birthday" the sweetest thing ever? Just wondering. :)

Since this is the first chapter, I'll get the other story-related notes out of the way upfront. I can't believe I find myself writing a "Phineas and Ferb" fanfic. Nothing wrong with it, but it's the first fic I've written in a long time. I started making up explanations for some of the show's quirks to answer questions from one of the kids I was working with, and it blew out of proportion in my head after that. I write this so my brain will quiet down, behave nicely, and work on the other things it's supposed to be concerned with. I am a slave to the backstory, and I am thankful to Swampy and Dan for creating a show for kids I actually look forward to watching with kids at work. (Dora the Explorer and I are no longer on speaking terms.)

That having been said, I would like to remind everyone of the following facts:

I did not create, nor do I claim to own Phineas and Ferb

I do not make any money from this whatsoever.

All hail Disney, which brings us this product.

Please do not sue me. I have nothing of particular value – and, like the rest of us, I have bills to pay.

Seriously, please don't sue me. I work with kids. Think of the children!

Comments, suggestions, constructive criticisms: all welcome. Flames will be used to lower my monthly heating bill.

And now (finally), our feature presentation.

Danville, Illinois

July 28, 1998

Linda Flynn sighed deeply as she fumbled with her keys, used her purse to keep the dog from racing outside as she opened the door, kicked the door shut with her foot, and dropped her keys in the basket by the door. It was a routine she'd been through countless times, but today, it was less smooth than usual. She had a lot on her mind – and only twenty minutes of free time before the babysitter brought Candace home. Linda loved her daughter dearly, but keeping up with a four year old required a lot of energy, and that was something Linda had precious little of lately. The divorce was taking a lot out of her. Today, she'd signed the paperwork to make it final. She should have been happy. It would be a lot easier to be a divorcée than to spend hours each day wondering where her husband was, who he was with, and what "auntie" he was going to bring home and introduce to Candace while Linda was out. That was what Linda had been telling herself for months. It was better for her and Candace, and better for Michael, ultimately, now that he didn't have to lie about not being married anymore. Still, now that it was final, the emotional roller-coaster Linda had been riding for the past year, since she'd found out about Bambi, Randi, Mandy, and all the other bimbos had come to a screeching halt. Against a brick wall.

Pop queens weren't supposed to know the roadies' names, much less care about them, but Michael had been different. Linda had taken a liking to him as her meteoric rise to fame and subsequent downfall had unfolded. They'd gotten to know each other outside of the studio, away from the concerts, and had married quickly. Candace was born just before Linda's comeback tour, and for all the love the fans poured out to her, nothing could compare to the feeling of hurrying backstage afterward to see Michael holding their baby daughter.

Things had changed quickly after that, however. It seemed that Michael loved "Lindana" more than he loved Linda, the woman. Lindana would always "just want to have fun," but Linda had to worrying about potty training and sleepless nights due to ear infections. Before long, Michael had wandered back to the music scene, picking up gigs with rising stars "for the money." Linda had believed him, at first. She'd wanted to believe him, and she'd forced herself to believe him, right up until she picked Candace up from daycare early one afternoon and come home to find Michael with his latest flavor of the month, Wendy, getting cozy on the living room couch.

For months afterwards, Linda believed the lies, that Michael had turned over a new leaf. That he had gotten the "craziness" out of his system and wanted to be a family man, for real. Eventually, though, enough was enough, and when Candace innocently asked her mother if "Auntie Brittany" was coming back, Linda was in court the next day to start divorce proceedings. If Michael wanted to gallivant, let him, but he'd have to do it on his own and not with access to the savings account from the Lindana days.

As her emotional exhaustion truly began to set in, Linda consoled herself with the fact that, at the very least, she wouldn't have to go through the trouble of changing her and Candace's last name. Michael had been a little miffed that Linda had insisted upon keeping the Flynn name and giving it to Candace as well, but there was no way Linda was going to let any child of hers be saddled with a last name like Humperdink. Kids in school could be cruel enough; Linda didn't want to give them ammunition. At least she hadn't married that fumbling nut she'd dated once in high school – Heinz Doofenshmirtz. Though they'd only had one date, it had made a lasting impression. Linda occasionally wondered what had become of him, but then came to realize she didn't really care.

After setting her purse on the kitchen counter and tossing some kibble in the dog's bowl, the now officially ex-Mrs. Humperdink flopped down on the couch, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, filling her nose with the intoxicating scent of...dog breath?

"Bucky!" Linda exclaimed, sitting up to nudge the dog off the couch. Bucky's big brown eyes looked back at her, his tail wagging wildly. Linda sighed. "Okay, okay. She got up again, opening the door to let Bucky into the back yard. As she was heading back toward the couch, intent upon getting at least a few minutes of relaxation before Candace got home, the phone rang. Linda snatched it off the hook with a little more force than was strictly necessary.

"Hello?" Linda asked, trying to force the irritation out of her voice.

"Hello," the too-cheerful voice on the other end replied. "Is this Linda Flynn?"

"Yes. Yes, it is."

"Oh, good. I'm Donna, with Danville Family Medicine."

"Oh-kay." Linda didn't remember calling them, but she had been a bit scatterbrained lately. Oh, wait, she'd had her annual physical last week, the Monday after Candace's birthday party. That seemed to be largely how her world ran now, on "Mommy Time" - how much time before or after a significant happening in her daughter's life. "Oh, right. I'm sorry. Is there a problem?"

"No, none at all," Donna assured her. "We got your lab results back, and the doctor's sending your prescription to the pharmacy. It should be available for you to pick up any time after five today. Congratulations, by the way."

"For what?" Linda asked blankly.

"Your pregnancy test was positive."

That, Linda had not been prepared for in the least. She'd been feeling off lately, but it was so easy to attribute to stress, to ignore her body's own symptoms, to just...be oblivious. Her doctor had wanted to run some tests when she'd mentioned her fatigue and she'd been in too much of a hurry to ask for specifics. She had figured he was looking for anemia or something like that. Pregnant? Again? Now?

Linda was fairly sure, "Oh, crap," was not one of the most recommended expressions to respond to the news that she was going to have another baby, but nonetheless, those were the exact words that came out of her mouth. And given the circumstances, she only felt a little bit guilty about it.