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25 Minutes
by Totally Kawaii
a CardCaptor Sakura oneshot
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Summary: OneShot. Songfic. Li Syaoran is in denial. Based on the song '25 Minutes', Syaoran tries to get back the one thing in his life that he will never stop loving unconditionally – his first and only love, Sakura.
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Disclaimer: Now now, what would make you think that I own CardCaptor Sakura and the song below? The fact that I have the copyright papers pasted to my walls? The fact that I have the characters hidden in my basement? Or is it the fact that neither claims are true?
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I'm not particularly fond of '25 Minutes' or the artist 'Michael Learns to Rock' but I was listening to this in the car and I was struck by how much of a one-shot this could make.
Umm… let's just make Eriol not Sakura's half-father because then that would be awkward. Make your own little fantasy about how Eriol's not Sakura's half-father or ancestor or whatnot. Just for this fic and any other fic that wants it. I have no idea how long a real wedding is, so my imaginary wedding is 1 hour long.
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Li Syaoran was in denial.
Li Meiling, his favorite cousin (and the one he was closest to), noticed that and pitied him. The poor boy – or, at 20 years, man – had been lost ever since 5 years ago. He had been ordered to break up with his longtime girlfriend and true love, the Card Mistress, Kinomoto Sakura, by the Elders.
Her hands unconsciously curled into fists at the root of all evil and Syaoran's problems. The Elders. A gaggle of nosy, power-hungry antiques whose sole purpose in life is to step on the future Li Leader and make him submit to their will.
It was their idea that at the age of fifteen, Syaoran would be put to extensive training and be cut off from all outside-family relations. It was their fault that a brokenhearted Syaoran left an equally brokenhearted Sakura empty and mad at him for not telling her sooner and to her face. She had to find out through Tomoyo – Tomoyo for Kami's sake! And it was most certainly their fault that Syaoran had built those damn walls around his heart again.
Meiling knew that it was all for the Li Clan. She understood that, but she was still overly pissed at her cousin for not having enough backbone. They pushed all the right buttons and ended up with a mindless Syaoran. He even forced himself to think that it was for the best. He was so in denial.
Thank Kami-sama when he would be old enough to make his own decisions.
But he wasn't able to make his own decisions now, when it was the most crucial time to make one. She glanced at the delicate pink (Sakura blossom pink¸ was Meiling's sardonic thought) letter on the table near her. As always, her heart seemed to slow down until almost stopping completely in dread.
Sakura was getting married.
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To Miss Li Meiling:
Kinomoto Sakura
and
Hiiragizawa Eriol
will pledge their love as one
on Sunday, December 24th, 2006
at 2:00 in the afternoon
Sacred Heart Church
123 Sakura Street
Tomoeda Town
Tokyo
Our joy would be more complete
if you share this celebration with us
Please RSVP
Mr. Kinomoto Fujitaka
Ms. Akizuki Nakuru
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The font was flowing and beautiful in soft pink kanji. It was flowery and delicate – the perfect wedding card but it broke Meiling's heart to see it and the name of the bride. She knew Syaoran didn't get one and was completely oblivious. The note in Sakura's precise handwriting confirmed it.
Gomen nasai, Meiling. I couldn't wait for him any longer…
She didn't blame Eriol for stealing Sakura. Tomoyo had written how lifeless Sakura had been and how Eriol, who had loved her as well, had charmed the life back into her eyes. It seemed inevitable that Sakura would love Eriol back with Syaoran out of the picture.
She also didn't blame Sakura for trying to prevent heartache and not invite Syaoran. Meiling was pretty sure she would have done the same thing. Sakura, always concerned for others (even ones that break her heart), also didn't want Syaoran to break his heart again.
Well, Meiling wouldn't completely break his heart, either. But she could push him in the right direction and influence her aunt, who in turn could convince the Elders, to agreeing with letting Syaoran go.
Meiling knew how much her aunt had adored Sakura in her own indifferent way. She would hint her baka of a cousin that he was running out of time. Only hint, because if he knew the real reason everyone would be pushing him to go he might chicken out and never confront Sakura. She will make him snap out of the pointless stupor and go after the woman he loved.
She glanced at the calendar. December 20th… so little time and so much to do.
The earliest, after all the persuading and bribery and blackmail she and her aunt would have to do, they could make it to Japan would probably be the 23rd. Dammit!
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Syaoran pursed his lips, very suspicious. The past few days had been unbelievable. Not only had the Elders let him go back to Japan, his mother had been acting strangely. She had told him to pack and go to Japan the day after – on the 23rd. Meiling had also looked at him in a way that suggested pity, but for what reason?
It had taken all his willpower to agree. Tomoeda held too much beautiful memories that would pain him to relive. But then he remembered Sakura and her smile and her laugh. He would surely fall in love with her all over again. But… was that such a bad thing?
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After some time
I've finally made up my mind
She is the girl and
I really want to make her mine
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He clutched his bag tighter, squirming in the uncomfortable seat in the airport. He was going to see Sakura again! He wondered how she was all these years. Would she hate him? Could they get back together again? Would she be dating someone else? Is she all right?
Out of the corner of his eye, Syaoran saw Meiling fidget. She was coming with him. He vaguely wondered why, but the excitement of returning to the small town of Tomoeda overwhelmed him.
"I'm sorry…" came her faint voice. He glanced at her curiously. She was looking at the floor, scuffing her feet. "Go to her, before it's too late."
Before he could ask her what she meant, they were called to board the plane. He would have asked her on the way, but he soon forgot, falling into a dreamless sleep, filled with the vaguest thoughts - a smile, a laugh, and endless green, reminding him of the meadows at home just before summer...
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I'm searching everywhere
To find her again
To tell her I love her
And I'm sorry ´bout the things I've done
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Syaoran slammed the main doors of their hotel the next day, doubly annoyed. He had gone to all their old hangouts to find not one of their old classmates present. He glared at the bubbly sign at the restaurant, saying that the entire place was reserved for a wedding reception party. The wedding was currently being held at the Sacred Heart Church. He was still grumbling about the sign as he sulked his way to his hotel room.
It's not fair - people are being goddamned happy and having weddings and shit when I'm having the crappiest day of my life.
He glanced at his watch. It was an hour after noon and Meiling wasn't at the hotel room they shared. Where was she? He sat on his bed and huffed. He wanted desperately to find Sakura soon and beg for her forgiveness.
After an hour and a half later, he was very bored and angry at Meiling. She hadn't told him she was going anywhere, so where could she be? His eyes roved around the room. The faintest hint of pink under Meiling's fluffy hotel pillows hinted something under there that was definitely not for Syaoran's eyes.
Grinning wolfishly at his thought for revenge, he crept up and snatched the pink thing. It looked like a wedding invitation inside a semi-transparent envelope. Opening it, he took it out, admiring the whispery textures on it. Then, he noticed the names on it and his heart seemed to literally stop.
Glancing at the clock, he felt immeasurable dread. Shit.
It took at least 55 minutes to get to the Sacred Heart Church! Literally flying down the corridor, he prayed to all the gods that he would be in time to speak to stop it.
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I find her standing in
Front of the church
The only place in town where I didn't search
She looks so happy in her wedding dress…
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It was reception time but the newly announced Hiiragizawa Sakura lingered at the altar where all her deepest fantasies came true. It was all too good to be true. With her best friend, Daidouji Tomoyo at her side, she had said her vows – never wavering – and was now forever bound to her loving husband, Eriol.
However, something still tugged at the pits of her stomach. It wasn't Syaoran's amber eyes and messy hair that greeted her at the altar. Instead, she found Eriol's understanding sapphire eyes and immaculately cut locks.
In a way, she felt like a part of her childhood dream was left unfulfilled. Rather ironically, the one at she was bound to for all eternity wasn't the person she had loved since forever.
Unknowingly, the corners of her lips started lifting in an insane smile. The same smile that heartbroken people wear after the denial.
How dare he leave her? How dare he tell her that after all the sweet assurances of marriage, he needed to obey the elders anyway? She understood… all too well. But it still didn't stop the wound from hurting her.
Syaoran winced at the sight that beheld him. She was still smiling cheerfully, although it was obviously forced. From far away she looked like the proper, beautiful bride in white. He took a step hesitantly. One of her feet stepped back, until she was bracing herself against the cold marble.
"Sakura…"
Her eyes widened and she acknowledged him. Tears bubbled up at the corners and slid down rosy cheeks. Nothing came out of her mouth, shaped into a bewildered circle, as her eyes tried to convey the message that she was taken… she had moved on.
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But she's crying while she's saying this
Boy, I've missed your kisses
All the time but this is
25 minutes too late
Though you traveled so far
Boy, I'm sorry you are
25 minutes too late
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"Hello, Li-san." She settled for a formal and slightly cold greeting used on almost-complete strangers. "I didn't see you when I was... I was walking down the aisle."
Syaoran inwardly cringed at her tone. He knew he deserved every cold word and harsh stare. Who didn't?
"So… you're married," he replied nonchalantly, as if commenting on the weather. Maybe if I step closer... talk to her...
Her eyes narrowed to slits, as though she could read his mind as easily as he could read her heart.
"D-don't come near me anymore! Get out, Li." He gaped at her, uncomprehending.
"You stepped out of my life the day you broke my heart. I intend to fully keep it that way – now, get out!"
Syaoran's eyes gazed into hers. The look was icy, but there were emotions bubbling under that she fought to suppress. She's trying not to fall in love with me again. He gulped, feeling guilty. That showed how much he had hurt her, that she would never trust him again.
"Just hear me out, Sakura," he pleaded. "I love you. J-just let me explain. Listen to m –"
"No! You listen to me. You think – after all you did to me – I'd take you back? I loved you. I fucking loved you and you said you loved me too… told me you'd love me forever. Ever since the days when we were little kids… but then you went and left me. Five years – five goddamn years! Even if I'm not married, then like hell I would let myself be hurt again!
"But I'm married, dammit! I don't love you anymore… I don't want to love you anymore. ... I c-can't! I never want to see you again! You're too late, Li." She glanced at the door, a mocking smile curved on her lips. Inside, she was shattering. Where's Tomoyo and her thrice-damned videocam when you need her.
She took a deep breath, steeling herself for the two words that would seal the door to a hundred thousand dreams she had of spending the rest of her life with him. The two words that would make her marriage final, in her eyes, not just the eyes of the law. The selfsame words that would condemn her to a lifetime of overly amorous actions and dulcet tones that she had craved after she had gotten over her feelings of abandonment. "We're through!"
Syaoran swore his heart broke into a million pieces. This is why I never let myself fall in love. He could only helplessly watch as she turned around and walked off, through the side door of the church. Out of his life, forever.
Stay strong. Tomoyo and the limo's there... just a couple of minutes. Don't turn around.
He hung his head; he was surprised to taste salt. He touched his nose lightly… tears. Suddenly, the full impact of her words and the spite behind them made his knees buckle. He knelt on the floor, heaving.
Li Meiling watched, out of sight, as her untouchable, impervious cousin (who had never so much as sniffled in his life – not even when his father died) collapsed and was overcome with tears. She shook her head sadly, unable to do anything.
Bakas! Those two are destined…
Can't they see that…?
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Against the wind
I'm going home again
Wishing me back
To the time when we were more than friends
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He cursed his stupidity. She was his everything –his light, his love and sole reason of living. And thanks to his lack of… backbone, the only reason he slugged through the ups and downs of life didn't love him back. Stopped loving him and went as far as hated him.
He remembered her. Whether it was from the CardCaptoring days or merely in High School where magical threats were at a minimum, she always had that goddamn beautiful smile of hers. He longed for her warm laugh like a thousand tinkling bells and her sparkling emerald eyes, full of vivid life.
Then, he remembered the scathing descriptions Tomoyo spat at him, how those same eyes grew dim and empty with misery when she broke his news to her, three days after he ran out. He gritted his teeth in anger at Hiiragizawa, the person who brought the life back into them.
The person she fell in love with.
He had always known there was something freaky about Clow Reed's reincarnation. If he hadn't been there…
Sakura would have still been miserable. She would have hated you anyways.
Sometimes he hated the little voice in his head.
It was always right.
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But still I see her in
Front of the church
The only place in town where I didn't search
She looked so happy in her wedding dress
But she cried while she was saying this
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There was nothing left to live for, really.
The Clan?
They could as sure as hell do without him. Even Meiling would be a better leader – at least she had some backbone.
His family? What family?
Family supported you, held you up in your darkest moments, and helped you battle back your demons. His mother did everything but that when she agreed with the Elders, tearing him away from the only family he had left. Sakura.
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Boy, I've missed your kisses
All the time but this is
25 minutes too late
Though you traveled so far
Boy, I'm sorry you are
25 minutes too late
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Syaoran pulled the collar higher, trying to block the wind and rain; it was growing relentless by the minute. He had left Meiling a note depicting everything he needed to settle in his finances.
He was really doing this. He approached the park steadily, wanting to remember old memories one last time.
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Out in the streets
Places where hungry hearts have nothing to eat
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He passed the newly rebuilt bridge sadly. The Void Card had helped Sakura think through about her feelings. So many memories in such a small town. In a way, he was glad this is where he decided to do it. It was the only place he could really call 'home'.
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Inside my head
Still I can hear the words she said
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The temple – the place where he confessed his love to Sakura. As well as the place where he helped Sakura capture the Return Card. The start of all his troubles; had he not confessed, Sakura would be blissfully ignorant and he wouldn't have to live with her memories and not her.
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Boy, I've missed your kisses
All the time but this is
25 minutes too late
Though you traveled so far
Boy, I'm sorry you are
25 minutes too late
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He withdrew the pendant in which his sword was disguised. Recalling the last few words he wrote, he smiled grimly.
Sakura…
He turned the object into his razor-sharp sword; glancing at it, a finger very lightly stroked it. If it had hurt when he cut his finger on it long ago, before Meiling gave up attempting to cook, how would it feel like – lodged between his ribs?
…I know you don't love me back…
He rested a hand on the huge Sakura tree. It was funny how Sakura still comes back to haunt him, even when she's a few hundred thousand miles away. There are reminders of her everywhere.
Vaguely, he wondered if he would be doing this had he never heard of Sakura's marriage. Probably yes… knowing she hated him and happily in love with the reincarnation was just an added bonus. He would have learned of it eventually.
He was almost glad she was on her honeymoon. Sakura would have tried to stop him, had she known. She was always so caring that way.
But Sakura hated the sight of blood.
… but I just can't die without letting you know…
He closed his eyes. One sharp thrust and it would be all over soon. She was gone forever. He thought of happy things on his last minutes on Earth.
His hands running through her silky hair…
her smile…
her soft lips on his…
loving little touches…
the words she always used to say…
… I'm sorry…
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I can still hear her say...
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"Aishiteru, my Syaoran – my Little Wolf…"
…aishiteru, my Sakura.
His limp body fell to the ground, red mingling with clear droplets. Li Syaoran left the world with a smile on his face.
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I'm 500 percent SxS but I wanted to try something new. I'm sick of the one-shots I've read so far where Sakura kills herself so… why not kill Syaoran off? I still love the pairing SxS, though! O.o I might make a sequel with a happy SxS, sappy ending.
I know it's crap and doesn't meet your standards but please don't flame. This is my 1st one-shot and 2nd fanfic so far. Please R&R.
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