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Chapter 1: Darkness
It's ironic how I've grown to meet darkness with trepidation and contempt, when it was the one that welcomed me into this world.
They probably knew how I hated it. I suppose that's the reason why they keep me here in the dark. That's all anyone ever wants from me. That and the Malfoy inheritance. I've been here long enough to know that they feed me twice a day. Once when the light comes out and another one when it's chased away by the night. I wonder why they don't just kill me and be done with it. It's weird since I doubt I'd come out of this alive.
I've been hoping for so long that the light would last but it never does. It's always warmer here when the suns out. It's almost like being back out there. Feeling the wind on my face.
Well, not really.
There's no whiff of air in this place or light. It's always too bloody damp and freezing.
But sometimes if I try real hard, I can remember. Remember those times where I was free. No, that's a lie. I was never free. I've always been held back by rules, repercussions especially phrases that starts with "Malfoys never…"
Phrases I've heard all my life.
Phrases I've learned to hate.
I hate them for making me like this. Making me pretend to be someone I'm not. I hate pretending especially because it leads you to hate me much more.
I don't want to do it anymore but its not like I have a choice. I'm a coward. I'll admit it.
I'm afraid to die.
There I said it. You're probably laughing about it right now. Saying how you always knew a slytherin ferret like me would be such a weakling. But it's the truth.
I'm nothing more than just a bloody cold-hearted bastard that has done nothing but made your life harder than it already is for the sole reason that I'm afraid to die.
Sometimes I gain comfort in knowing that I have to pretend. It's ironic, I know. I've been rambling about how I don't want to pretend anymore. But I gain comfort that you would never know who I am.
Never really get to see me.
Because I'm frightened that when you do, you'd realize that I really am nothing. That I don't deserve you, your time, your pity or even your anger. I'm afraid that the realization would dawn on you and you'd wonder why you ever wasted your time with me.
And if that ever happened I don't know what I'd do.
Because that's what I live for. Your attention.
It doesn't matter to me that it's always a negative one. Or that sometimes we beat each other until we're both bloodied and wounded. What matters to me is that in some way, no matter how little it might be, I affect you.
I get you riled up.
I make you notice me.
Force you to acknowledge my existence.
But that's all over now isn't it?
We're not in school anymore. No more Hogwarts or professors to stop us when we fight. Next time when we see each other I know only one of us would come out alive.
It would be you of course. I wouldn't have the heart or will to kill you. You probably wouldn't kill me if I didn't set Dumbledore up to his death, but I did and you have the motivation and rage to finish me off.
I'd want it to be you, you know. Think of it as my last parting gift for you. You can finally get me back for all those stupid cruel things I did to you and you friends.
The Golden Trio.
You've always hated that name, didn't you?
I wonder if you'll ever figure out what I feel for you, other than hatred that is. You probably wouldn't be the one who'd figure it out if ever. It'd probably be Granger. She's the clever one, isn't she?
I wonder how long till He comes for me. That is, I suppose, the reason why I'm here. I don't know what exactly he would want me for but I can take a guess. I'm probably here to be punished. They like punishing me. Did you know that? The Slytherin Prince is their favorite toy.
They like hearing me scream.
Said I have a beautiful voice…
Raw, was how they described it.
I've always been trained to keep my emotions at bay. Never let it show. I used to be good at it. I even used to be the best. But now, it's hard to do that. It's hard to keep everything inside.
There's too much too hold inside.
Too much too keep.
It's taking all my energy and I've given up.
I gave them what they want. I showed them how much pain they're causing, how broken I am inside.
It's not the best choice since they do it much more often since I did. But I'm too tired to keep playing this game.
I'm just too tired of everything.
He's coming now…
I can feel it…
Coldness and dread…
Is this how you felt, Harry?
Every time you face Him? Voldemort?
Did you feel the same coldness I do?
Did you feel the same fear I do?
Did you feel the same weakness I do?
Did you feel the same helplessness I do?
You probably didn't.
After all, we don't have anything in common.
Why start with this.
You're not a Slytherin coward…
You're a brave noble Gryffindor…
Did you know that death means dark salvation?
I'm waiting for you, Harry.
Set me free…
I don't want to hurt anymore.
I'm still trapped here.
Waiting…
I don't know what for or for how long it might take.
Please, hurry. I want you to be the one to finally do it.
I knew the moment I saw you, Harry, that you were going to be the end of me.
Hurry, Harry…
Please…
Before it's too late…
I'm only asking for one thing, Harry …
Be the one to give me my Dark Salvation…
To be continued… A/N: That is if you want me to. Tell me what you think of it and review. Thanks for reading!