So yeah...I own nothing. Well I do own the story. ANYWAYS I hope you enjoy my first humor fic :)
"What day is it? What day is it?" Pietro Maximoff ran downstairs to the kitchen and bustled about searching for a calendar.
"Thursday," Lance replied solemnly.
"No, what day of the month?"
"Uh, the twenty-sixth."
"Twenty-sixth?"
"Yeah, of May."
Pietro turned pale and whipped out his phone. "This is bad! Very, very bad!"
"What's he going on about now?" Wanda entered the room and pulled out some cereal.
Pietro began pacing quickly. "I made a bet a long time ago. I bet with an old "friend" that whoever had the very best, totally hot and steady date in 3 years would win. It's been three years!"
Lance rolled his eyes "So what? Just ask one of your five girl friends."
"No, I can't. Some...trouble happened last time. You see 1 and 4 found out about each other and told 2 who is also 3's sister. And 5 is out on vacation," Pietro shook his head angrily.
"Oh, brother," Lance sighed.
"At least he's not your actual brother," Wanda quipped.
Pietro ignored them both "I'm expecting a call from him today! I can't lose this bet! I can't!"
"What's the wager?" Toad asked hopping into the kitchen and pouring some milk.
"None of your business frog-face!" Pietro snapped.
Wanda rolled her eyes "Probably just his precious pride and dignity. Plus he hates being called out."
"Aw, I was hoping we'd get to see the fabulous Quicksilver wear a dress or something," Lance smirked.
Pietro scowled. "Very funny, Lance. Why don't you just go-"
*RING*
"Oh no, it's the call. I'm in so much trouble!" Pietro zipped into the other room to take the call.
"This I gotta see," Lance sat up and listened from behind the door.
"What? No of course I've got a girl. She's real pretty too." Pietro lied through his teeth.
Lance covered his mouth to prevent laughing. Wanda and Todd along with Fred joined him and peered into the living room where their housemate made his call.
"What does she look like?" Pietro gulped "I-Well...she's got hair and... eyes...You'll see her when you meet her."
Todd, Fred and Wanda leaned in closer, Lance had left to keep himself from bursting into laughter.
"Is she a mutant? Um, yes? I mean... How did you know about mutants? Oh, yeah. The news..."
"Awkward," whispered Fred in a singsong voice.
"Okay. Wait, tonight? No, no problem. I'll uh see you guys at 8 then."
The Brotherhood dashed back into the kitchen as Pietro hung up. The three of them sat down casually. Pietro entered and raised his eyebrow. Wanda was in the wrong seat, Todd was halfway in his chair and Fred was pouring cereal into a glass.
"My friend is coming tonight! So you see he held up his end of the bet and got a girl. Turns out she's an old enemy of mine as well. I bet he did it to bug me. How am I'm supposed to get a date by tonight?" Pietro said at super speed, his words getting lost through each sound.
"I have no idea what that was," the Scarlet Witch frowned.
Pietro repeated himself at a normal pace and sat down with a sigh.
Todd sat up "I thought you have like a ton of girls on your phone, Pietro."
"Well, duh," grumbled the speed demon "I don't want them though. I want someone who won't cling on. A date just for the night or something. More like a fake date."
"A fake date?" Todd repeated.
"But who'll be even willing to pretend to be your girlfriend for over an hour?" Lance quipped walking back into the room.
"Hmmm," grinned Pietro. "Oh, sweet and beloved twin sister of mine?"
"No."
...
"Please Tabby? Please, please, please?"
Tabitha Smith rolled her eyes at her old housemates odd request.
"Forget it Speedy. I'm not pretending to be your date. Besides I'm busy that night."
"Please Tabby! Your the last non-X-man I know!" Pietro was on his knees begging.
"In that case. Never! I'd like to see you try and ask an X-Man out. Or X-Woman in this case...Right?" Tabby raised an eyebrow.
"No! Tabby! Seriously I'll do anything!" Quicksilver scrabbled on the floor as she began to walk off.
Since they were at school Tabby looked round awkwardly. Hopefully nobody was watching her be a part of this stupidity.
"Will you do my homework for a week?" Tabby asked.
Pietro hesitated but then nodded enthusiastically which, with his super speed, looked a bit awkward.
"Alright then Mr. Bobble-head. Shake on it. You'll do my homework for a week, Pietro?" Tabby extended her hand.
He shook it quickly and smiled. "Thanks," he said "I knew I could count on you."
"Good to know then. But I'm still not going out with you," smirked Tabitha walking away.
"Wait! Then I'm not doing your homework," Pietro cried.
Tabby turned around and laughed. "You shook on it Speedy!"
...
"Hey, uh, Kitty," Pietro leaned up against the X-Man's locker.
"Um, hey Pietro. What are you doing here?" Kitty Pryde asked cautiously as the fastest of the Brotherhood smirked at her.
"So...now that you and the Avalancher are through I thought maybe-"
"No!" Kitty slammed her locker. "Don't even think about it Pietro. I will never go out with you!"
Quicksilver zoomed to the other side of her as she tried to leave. "Wow. Kitty Cat has herself some claws," he frowned. "One, you'd be lucky to go out with me Pretty-Kitty. And two, I didn't mean it as an actual date. I just need you to pretend for me. Just for tonight!"
"No! No! No!"
"Come on Kitty!"
"No!"
"Please? I'm desperate!"
"No way! Why would anyone even be willing to pretend to be your girlfriend for over an hour?"
"Please! I'm begging here!"
"Bye Pietro," Kitty rolled her eyes and walked away, a little faster than normal.
Magma then walked past on her way to homeroom.
"Hey there Amara," Pietro grinned.
...
"I'll seriously pay you ten bucks," Pietro raced to catch up with Rogue who kept walking home despite his attempts of bribery.
"Please! You think that all it takes?" Rogue snorted and rolled her eyes.
Pietro was getting annoyed, who wouldn't want this? All he wanted was one evening.
"I'll give you twenty bucks," Pietro said.
"I'm not pretending to be your date Pietro," Rogue pushed him back.
"Aw, why not? We were housemates! Teammates! Friends! We're like the same age right? Come on! Find it in the goodness of your heart," he cried.
Rogue scowled "I can't believe it. The goodness of my heart? You gotta be kidding! Forget it Pietro."
"Thirty dollars! My highest offer!"
"Not for one million dollars, Pietro."
Kurt then ran up to the two. "What's going on here?"
"Nothing, just stupidity," Rogue responded.
Kurt whispered something to Rogue that Pietro couldn't hear but sounded a lot like the word "Naturally".
The two began a conversation and started walking away from Pietro who was left grumbling behind them.
Quicksilver ran up to her again and showed her the money. "I have fifty bucks right here, Rogue. Take it or leave it."
Rogue put her hand on her chin and gave the expression of deep thinking. "Okay, okay. I'll take it," she grabbed the money from his hand and teleported out with Kurt before Pietro could say a word.
The only thing that could ever out speed him was the annoying power of teleportation. Defeated he headed back home. He'd tried Wanda...twice, Tabby, Kitty, Amara, Rahne and Rogue. Who was left?
...
Kurt looked out at the sunset as he did his homework. This was the best room in the mansion during the sunset, an it just happened to be Kurt's. A soft knock was heard on his door. Kurt stood up and opened the door. The last thing he thought it'd be was a member of the Brotherhood. Pietro Maximoff have Kurt a little wave and ran into his room.
"Quicksilver! What are you doing? Get out of here," Kurt said in surprise.
"Come on Blue-Boy. I just need a favor," Pietro grinned.
Kurt, knowing what the speedster had been asking all day, became slightly panicked. "Quicksilver I'm not going to go on a-"
"Ew! No way Blue-Boy. You aren't my type. This has to do with your image inducer," Pietro grinned.
"If you think I'm going to be your date in disguise then your very much mistaken," growled Kurt.
"No not that, I just need it okay?"
"No way. I'm not giving my inducer to a member of the Brotherhood again! Besides why would I let you change the appearance of one of your friends with my property."
"Actually," Quicksilver said "I have a different plan in mind."
Pietro zoomed over and took the watch from Nightcrawler and placed it on his own wrist. As he began fiddling with it he started to change form.
"Oh My God," Kurt sighed looking at Pietro "This has got to be your craziest idea yet!"
To be Continued...
So if you want me to continue I will...soon :P
Don't you want to see the date?