YOU'RE DATING HER?!

Summary: James looked at Carlos like he said the most ridiculous thing in the world, which wasn't far from the truth. Even James didn't think Heather could pull off Jade's façade, no way. "What? Pfft-of course not! And even if I did think that it was Heather - which I do not - Heather's a spokes model, not an actress."

"Or is she?" Carlos immediately rebutted

Rating: T for Jade's frustrated profanities near the end of this one-shot.

Pairing: Jade/James, BTR protective bromance.

AN: I've been RPing Jade/James a lot with this fabulous James Maslow RPer on Facebook and I felt like sharing a bit of the Jade and James magic with all of you in my first of many pieces for the crack pairing.

This one will be the starter of course, where the gang finds out that James is dating this ferocious, feisty girl…but eventually they realize, she can't be all bad if she makes James happy.

Read on my dears.

~Nat

[OoOoOoO]

"Aren't we supposed to meet James and his mysterious girlfriend down here?" Carlos started as all three of them stepped out of the elevator, entering the lobby of the Palm Woods and looking around with expressions equal to the confusion on his. "Aw come on! He hasn't even showed yet." Carlos then began to pout, crossing his arms in a huff.

"Don't worry Carlos." Kendall assured, patting the Latino on the arm. "They'll be here. Eventually." He added in afterthought.

Logan glanced around. "Well, it's one o'clock - James said they'd be here. I have no idea what-" But his voice was cut off as someone stumbled past him, bumping into him rather roughly.

Kendall and Carlos shot back, looking at the body quickly, ghosting once or twice. The girl-well, she looked terrifying. Dark raven hair with colored streaks stripped through, dark clothing…that scowling look. She looked like a horrified Lucy. And Lucy could be pretty scary sometimes.

"Watch it." The girl growled in a husky tone.

Carlos stumbled forward in defense for his friend. "Maybe you should watch where you're going!" He retorted, smiling widely and proud of himself for sticking up for his friend.

Until the girl pulled her lips back to reveal teeth, teeth that definitely wouldn't hesitate to bite his head off.

"AHH!" Carlos screamed, leaping back and pushing his shoulders back, holding his hands out to shield his face. He was going to die - he was going to die - he was going to dieeeee!

The girl pulled back an arm to set him straight, but that arm was quickly enveloped by a familiar grasp, held back in a tight grip.

Carlos, Kendall, and Logan all looked at James in utter relief, all sighing in unison.

"James, thank God you came, she was about to-" Carlos started, but stopped at James next words and actions.

James wrapped his arms around the girl and held her to him; a delighted grin overtaking his face. "You guys met my girlfriend without me?" His voice laced somewhat in disappointment.

The three of them exchanged shocked glances before all yelling at him simultaneously. "YOU'RE DATING HER?!"

[OoOoOoO]

"YOU'RE DATING HER?!"

James stared at them quizzically, as the rebeliess girl in his arms was only smirking, laying her head against James' shoulder contently. "Uh…yes. That's kinda what I just said. Guys, meet Jade West." He gestured to her, before he gestured to the remaining of his group. "Babe, these are my friends. Carlos Garcia, Kendall Knight, and Logan Schmidt." He pointed to each one carefully while saying their name respectively, smiling brightly.

Jade smirked largely and eyed each one of them carefully. "It's a pleasure." She purred, making Carlos shiver and Logan just stared at her; motionless in the same spot and gazing at her like a deer in headlights.

James took notice of the odd expressions on his friends' faces. "Erm…Jade, would you mind giving us a minute?"

"Not at all." She said smoothly, allowing him to kiss her on the cheek before she exited out to the pool area, striding around comfortably.

Once she was out of earshot, the three of them exploded.

"WHY ARE YOU DATING HER?!"

"JAMES, SHE'S SCARY!"

"DUDE, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"

James shot back, raising his hands up. "Whoa-whoa, hold up for a second." His shoulders slumped. "You don't like her?" Now he threw up his arms in annoyance, his bi-polar side coming out. "Oh come on! She's pretty and she's not stupid or shallow - what do you not like about her?"

"Oh I don't know." Logan began, before making a face and pointing at him. "Maybe because she's freakin' scary!"

"No she's not!" James quickly dismissed.

"Yes she is!" The three said in unison, looking at him seriously.

Kendall pointed at himself. "Even I think she's scary-and very unstable."

Carlos was wordless, staring off at her in a trance. James took notice of this, considering he was one of the only who had not commented about his girl and looked skeptical. "Carlos?" He questionably said his name.

Said guy jumped - startled, snapping out of his trance briefly. "James-we need to talk."

James screwed up his brow. "Why exactly do we-" But Carlos locked onto him and tugged him off to the side, leaving a confuzzled Kendall and Logan.

"Uh-OW!" He pulled his wrist back, rubbing at it ruefully. "What to you want to talk about so bad?"

Carlos looked conflicted, biting his lip and trying to contain something clearly. "Who does she look like?"

James raised an eyebrow. "Who? Jade?" He turned his head, looking back out at his girlfriend was busy talking to-Katie? "Erm-I dunno? Why? Who does she look like."

Carlos scoffed. "You don't see it?!" He exclaimed, sighing heavily.

"Uh-yeah, obviously I don't see it!"

"She looks like Heather Fox!" Carlos finally admitted, gesturing wildly.

Now it was James's turn to scoff. "What? No way! She does-" He turned around suddenly, staring out at his girlfriend and re-taking in her features. "-Okay, so maybe there's a smidge of resemblance, what does this have to do with anything?"

"Bro-code!" Carlos stated simply.

"What? No way! There is no code about dating girls that look like girls that they used to have a crush on." James snorted, looking smug.

"Now there is!"

"NO WAY! I am so not dumping Jade just because she has a teeny resemblance to Heather." James paused, placing a hand on his chin and appearing in thought. "Oh, and if I remember right, I turned down Heather for YOUR feelings. I'm not dumping Jade because she happens to look a bit like Heather."

"Yes you are!" Carlos insisted, sticking out his bottom lip. "Or else I won't talk to you." He stated simply, tilting his chin up and closing his eyes finally.

"Jade doesn't look like Heather! Heather has straight hair; Jade's hair is wavy and has colored streaks in it! Heather's a really nice person. I mean, I like Jade and all-but she's not! She has piercings too! Something Heather did not have."

Carlos then thought for a moment. "Wait-what if she is Heather?"

James looked at Carlos like he had just said the most ridiculous thing in the world, which wasn't far from the truth. Even James didn't think Heather could pull off Jade's façade, no way. "What? Pfft-of course not! And even if I did think that it was Heather - which I do not - Heather's a spokes model, not an actress."

"Or is she?" Carlos immediately rebutted, drawing in closer and trying to twist his words. Honestly, he did believe it was Heather, but that was more of wishful thinking.

James shook his head. "No. I'm not letting you come between me and Jade." He said sternly and finally.

"Fine. Then until you break-up with her-WE'RE NOT BEST FRIENDS ANYMORE!" Carlos shouted and ran off in a huff, leaving a shell-shocked James.

"FINE! If that's how you want to be, be that way!" James insisted and stormed off in the opposite direction, making Kendall and Logan swing back and forth to watch the two part ways, growing more confused by the moment.

And don't even get started on Jade, who had stepped back in upon hearing James's shouts, looking as her boyfriend stormed off down the hallway to the elevator, pressing the button with persistence and repetition. Jade looked at Kendall and Logan, exchanging a confused glance.

"What's wrong with him?"

[OoOoOoO]

James ended up sulking in the apartment, sitting on the couch with slouched posture and sagging shoulders, a sullen look on his usually happy, handsome face. He wasn't very happy.

He just wished he could for once have his friends and a great girl. He had everything; a band; great friends; a successful career ahead of him; stunning looks, but no girl to share it with.

Usually when he dated, he would go for girls that adored his features, gushed over everything he said and giggled like hyenas at his every smile. But when he met Jade once at a mall signing, with her little redhead friend, everything changed.

James grew infatuated with her. He was determined to get her; because honestly - she was the one girl who didn't fawn when he walked by or didn't immediately start shouting his name and demanding that he date her like a silly fan-girl. She was-different.

A good kind of different.

Honestly, they just started dating about three weeks ago and James was not ready to lose her because of some petty resemblance to Heather Fox. Jade was far better than a girl who broke his best friend's heart. Well, former best friend at this point.

A knock pulled him from his thoughts and he looked up, watching the door slowly inch open, his girlfriend's familiar black and purple hair peeking through, her gray eyes meeting his instantly.

"Jade." James greeted in slight surprise, expecting more or less it to be one of the guys.

Jade rolled her eyes. "Who were you expecting? Gandhi?" She asked in questioned rhetorically, sarcasm oozing in every word.

James arched his eyebrows. "Gandhi?"

Jade in turn rose her own eyebrows. "Oh come on, you don't know who Gandhi is?" James shook his head and she sighed, walking over to him and sitting down. "Mahatma Gandhi? Preeminent leader of the Indian nationalism when India was British-ruled?" James shook his head once more. "Led India to independence in the early nineteen hundreds?"

James remained a blank look.

Jade sighed. "It's just someone my Improv teacher brings up all of the time."

"Oh, okay." James said, before pausing. "Wait-Improv? Where do you go to school again?"

"Hollywood Arts." She replied, scrunching her brow. "I thought I already told you thought."

James's eyes widened. "You're an actress?"

"Partially." Jade answered slowly. "-Why?"

"Carlos was right!" James exclaimed in surprise, clearly having misinterpreted Carlos words.

Jade turned towards him, looking at him questionably. "What was Carlos right about?" The Goth girl was clearly a bit confused by what was going on. She knew something had sparked some anger in James and had simply went to check on him after he stormed off so quickly, getting his usual whereabouts when this happened from Kendall and Logan; both who were still afraid of her.

Bunch of pansies.

James's eyes narrowed. "What kind of game are you trying to play Heather?" He spoke her name with hinted malice, leaning forward and staring her straight in the face.

"Alright, back-up." Jade put a hand on his chest and pushed him back to maintain a comfortable proximity from him, narrowing her eyes. "What are you talking about and why the chizz are you referring to me as Heather?"

"Oh you can't fool me!" James pointed a smug finger. "You're really good Heather, playing me for three weeks into thinking you're this Jade character, but you slipped, you told me you were an act-"

Jade threw herself to her feet and looked at him skeptically yet angrily. "What the hell are you even talking about?! You sound like a fucking lunatic!"

James looked at her funny. "Heather, what are you talking about? You know exactly what I mean, your game's over-right?"

"STOP CALLING ME HEATHER!" She demanded, throwing her hands down at her sides; clenching and unclenching them repeatedly, trying to hold her anger in. "And I have no god damn idea what you're even talking about. Last time I checked, my name was Jade West and I wasn't playing any games with you!"

"But you're an actress." James replied weakly.

"No shit Sherlock!" Jade snapped. "I go to a freaking Performing Arts school, I've told you that fifteen million times!"

James now looked downright confused. "But you're-"

"If you say I'm Heather one more time, I going to bash your head in with a hammer." She threatened, eyes flaring.

"But you look just like her and you're an actress-AND I'M SO CONFUSED!" He moaned, running his hands down the side of his face, clearly not enjoying this.

Her look turned from anger to a look that made him feel like the stupidest person, which certainly was not far from the truth. "So, because I'm an actress and because I resemble someone - I just happen to be someone impersonating my own self?" She questioned slowly.

"-Yes." James answered in the same speed.

Oh, this drove her crazy.

"HOW - FUCKING - STUPID - ARE YOUUUU?" She screamed, her anger boiling in her veins. "Seriously?! HOW DIM COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE?!" She demanded, throwing her arms out. "Huh? HUH!?"

James cowered against the couch, eyes wide. "-I'm not stupid." Was the only thing he could say through her constant shouting.

And then it stopped - suddenly and Jade just looked at him for a moment, before storming off in a huff.

"JADE! BABE!" He called, chasing after her and gripping the doorway as he swung out, his face a look of sheer panic. "Don't go!"

The girl was already getting in the elevator, the doors closing far to quickly before James could reach it, his hands sliding uselessly against the closed doors, sighing.

Great. Now he was girlfriendless and bestfriendless. Could this day get any worse?

[OoOoOoO]

~"JADE! BABE!" He called, chasing after her and gripping the doorway as he swung out, his face a look of sheer panic. "Don't go!"

The girl was already getting in the elevator, the doors closing far to quickly before James could reach it.~

When the doors open, Jade stalked abrasively out of the elevator, appearing very cross and as if she would cut off heads if anyone tried to come her way. Out of her peripheral, she noticed that Carlos was pacing back and forth.

And then it turned worse when she noticed him walking towards her. Oh boy, was she going to give him an ear full.

Carlos opened up his mouth to begin a rant, when she cut him off insistently.

"You have some god damn nerve pretty boy!" Jade snapped. "Telling James that I'm some-'Heather Fox', whoever the hell that is!"

Carlos's mouth snapped shut and he looked at her in confusion. "Wait-you're not Heather Fox?" He asked quizzically, having been so sure he was right about his conclusion, nearly commenting that she had called him pretty boy, but forgetting it for now. He had to order his priorities.

Jade's hands lurched forward, burying themselves in the collar of his shirt and pulling him nose-to-nose and baring her teeth. "Do I look like Heather Fox?"

Carlos opened his mouth once more to affirm that-but she looked far too angry to even think about saying something like that. He didn't want to provoke her any more; he wanted to keep his head today.

"-No?"

"Exactly." She confirmed sharply, releasing him. "Now your little charade herr got James and I into an argument, now listen to me and listen to me good pretty boy, you're going to march yourself up the stairs-"

"What about the elevator?"

"THE STAIRS!" She repeated in a louder voice. "And you're going to tell him that I'm not this Heather Fox chick, alright? Alright. And if you decide not to? Than I'm going to make your life a living hell and take my word for it little Carlos; this is no empty promise." Her eyes narrowed.

Carlos gulped shakily and nodded his head, racing up the stairs shouting Jame's name at the top of his lungs. He wanted to keep his lovely life!

[OoOoOoO]

James was even more sulky than he had been before Jade had popped up to speak with him, looking like a kicked puppy on the couch once again. Until he suddenly heard the loud screams of his former-best pal trumpeting his clambering up the stairs loudly.

That brought James to his feet as he sprung towards the door, pulling the open and looking at Carlos with a shocked expression. The Latino was bent over with his hands on his knees, panting heavily from his speedy run up the staircase.

"One - moment." He wheezed, taking in quick breaths.

James stood still for a moment, waiting for Carlos to gather his bearings before he finally started in.

"She's not Heather Fox." Carlos informed him; as if James didn't already know from the screaming match he had participated in with her just a few minutes ago.

"OBVIOUSLY!" James shouted, gesturing with wild hands. "I figured that out when she freaked out because YOU were soooo convinced that she was!"

Carlos looked sheepish. "Bad guess?"

"Definitely bad guess!" James repeated, throwing his arms out before crossing them again, looking saddened. "Now she's totally mad at me." His shoulders slumped and until now, Carlos hadn't noticed how much this girl had truly affected him.

It seemed that James was truly happy - honestly and that was a rarity with some of the girls he picked up.

"Well, maybe I have a slight suggestion." Carlos offered with a half-smirk.

[OoOoOoO]

"OW - OW - OW! JADE, NOT THE FACE!" James screamed as he ran around the Palm Woods as the girl chased him with a bat, appearing to enjoy this all too much.

Of course James had on padding of course; consisting of some pillows duck taped to him and Carlo's usual helmet.

However, Logan and Kendall finally caught up with all of the drama and approached Carlos, watching Jade and James's interaction with horrified looks.

"What is she doing?" Logan asked.

"Getting out her aggression on our best pal." Carlos informed, grasping his biceps and turning to face them.

"-Why, exactly?" Kendall continued.

Carlos shrugged casually, grinning slightly. "It's a really long story. Maybe for another time."

They were interrupted when James ran up to them, panting wildly for breath and tugging off the helmet, glancing at his reflection in it and screaming girlishly. "HELMET HAIR!"

He had finally had a moment to take a breath, considering he had lost Jade while running around the perimeter of the Palm Woods and looked at Carlos with death in his eyes. "I'm going to get you for this."

Before Jade's screamed echoed back to him and he slipped on his helmet, taking off all over again. "HAVE MERCY!" He shouted; arms flailing as he ran out of the entrance with the girl following on his heels.

"You know, for such a majestic girl, she really can run fast." Carlos commented, earning looks from Logan and Kendall. "What? She's pretty." He shrugged and his mind flashed back to Heather Fox and that lovely smile.

Carlos could let James have this girl, because honestly? James needed the stabilization.

And this girl could give him exactly what he needed.

Plus much much more.

"OH MY GOD JADE, HOW DO YOU BREAK A STEEL BAT-AHH!"

CRASH. BOOM. SMASH.

"-I'm in intense pain-I need a hot nurse-."

BOOM.

"I NEED A DOCTORRRR!"

[OoOoOoO]

AN: First Big Time Rush story and first crossover of Jade and James that was not an RP. Like it? I tried to fashion it after a REAL Big Time Rush episode, minus the amount of swearing on Jade's part; but then again, how would you feeling it a shitload of people were accusing you of being someone you weren't?

Review please, let me know it you want anymore!

~Nat