In Honour of Those Fallen
A/N: I'm watching the series from the beginning, and I have reached S5E10. It got to me, and I just wanted to pen a short epilogue to it all. Contains spoilers up to S5E10.
Castiel glared into nowhere. Since being banished from Heaven, he had to make do with any lodging he could find. Right now, he was in an abandoned warehouse somewhere in the south of China, surrounded by broken and discarded crates. He ignored the dirt, and the darkness. His vessel might have complained, but the angel didn't.
There were bottles surrounding him, most of them empty. Castiel clutched one of them in his hand, and lifted it to his lips. It was his sixteenth bottle, but it had no effect on his system. Castiel felt no different than when he had first arrived and discovered the empty warehouse. But there had to be a way for him to forget that day. Jo and Ellen were dead, and Castiel couldn't help.
Cas had once thought he was above human emotion, but now he knew he had been wrong. He couldn't shake the guilt he felt at the lives that had been lost that day. How did humans do it on a daily basis? How did Sam and Dean manage?
Cas had felt Jo die, and Ellen shortly after. There had been nothing left to bury once the flames had died down. And he had been powerless and trapped, having been caught by Lucifer in a ring of holy oil. He drained the bottle, barely feeling it. And picked up the next. It was one of the bottles from several crates in the corner, somehow overlooked when the warehouse was vacated. Cas was taking the opportunity to drown his guilt the way he had seen the Winchesters do it. Maybe this was how they coped.
Cas moved to a grimy window in what was probably an office area once upon a time. It was dark on this side of the world. While angels didn't always need sleep, Cas registered a small level of exhaustion, but ignored it. He stared out into the city, and drained his current bottle in one long mouthful.
Outside, the city was lit up, and millions of lives carried on around him. Cas could feel them, and he mourned what was to come. The billions of lives he passed day after day had no idea of the devastation that would come. But Cas did, and he could do nothing. He was cut off from his family, and it hurt. Cas thought of many things, and he found himself thinking about the Winchesters. They needed him. Cas glanced down at the empty bottle, and changed it out for a full one. He took a drink, and looked out into nowhere again.
He took another swig. Tomorrow would be a new day, with its new troubles. For now, he would mourn the lost. Jo and Ellen had sacrificed it all, and Castiel felt he could spend one night honouring that sacrifice.
The lights twinkled on, oblivious to the storm brewing on the horizon.
A/N2: Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. I have a second story I'd like to plug. It's a crossover between Supernatural and Fifty Shades. It's called "When Sam Met Christian". Don't worry; our boys aren't siding with any of that. Thank you for reading, and drop me a review. See you soon! SJ