This story is based on DA2. It is a re-vamped version of an older story I posted a few years ago as I felt the old one was lacking excitement and adventure. My writing skills have improved since so I wish to give this old flame some life once again. So, this will be interesting o_o'

Evelin Hawke, the well-known apostate of Kirkwall has struggled with her new lifestyle internally for quite some time. As much as she gains great satisfaction from helps others and gives her time to those around her, she still feels empty inside, somewhat alone and lost. After surviving the Deep Roads Expedition and celebrating with her close friends, Evelin finally receives the answers she's been looking for…but from who? M rated.

Chapter One

A large dust cloud appeared, followed by three bodies from the outskirts of Kirkwall. The Deep Roads Expedition didn't go as planned, Bartrand betraying his own brother to steal an ancient idol, Hawke practically losing her brother, Carver, to the blight which forced them to get help from Grey Wardens. Then to top it off, they had to escape the place themselves…It had been a tough journey thus far. The sky was clear and brisk as the group emerged from the disintegrating ruins of the deep roads, a gentle breeze blowing as birds sang in the distance. Hawke lead them, grimacing to herself as she pulled herself out of the hole which they emerged from. It was time to go home.

"Finally, we're out that darned place. Didn't I mention I never wished to go back again?" Anders had clambered out from behind Hawke as he spoke, his voice full of sarcasm and annoyance. He did say that, more than once, but no one cared to listen.

"Well, Blondie, I don't think we'll be going back anytime soon…" Varic laughed slightly as he spoke, a sad smile on his face as he walked past Hawke and down the hill towards the Kirkwall gates. She knew he was suffering, battling with himself after what happened with Bartrand. It was best to give him time to think it over. What happened in the Deep Roads would be unforgettable. How was she going to break the news to her mother that her dear son would not be returning. All her trust was placed into Hawkes hands after all. To see her younger brother, go through all that suffering because of her was unbearable. And now he was a Grey Warden, and would not be able to return to Kirkwall with the family anymore. As she thought of this, Hawke gritted her teeth together and help back tears. These would be shed in the privacy of her room, away from others to see. She shook her head quickly to get the thoughts away before looking for Varic. She could see him in the distance, where he had stopped and rested himself against a tree trunk to wait. He had Bianca resting on his knee while he polished her gently. It was hard to tell how he felt. Not only was he betrayed by his own flesh and blood, he was then left for dead by the same guy he called his brother. He ranted and raved multiple times about killing the son of a bitch, but in truth, Hawke knew it was all for show…

She sighed to herself as she watched him, unaware of Anders, who was now standing beside her. "He'll be okay. You need not worry." She jumped slightly as he spoke, her eyes darting up at his automatically. He raised an eyebrow at her surprised expression before placing his hand on her shoulder and smiling reassuringly. "Sometimes the best thing to do is take a step back and let things play out the way they should...You need to relax and take time for yourself Hawke".

She sighed, nodding slowly in agreement as she pulled away from his hand, grabbing her rucksacks of loot. "You're right…So…How do I do that exactly?". It may have seemed like a stupid question but Hawke hadn't had time for fun and relaxation since she arrived in Kirkwall. She was too focused on keeping her family safe and reclaiming what was rightfully theirs. She rubbed her head, feeling a sense of confusing flood over her.

Anders stared at her with a blank expression before bursting out in laughter. "Oh, this should be fun". He grabbed her hand firmly as a smirk spread over his face. "Time to return to the gang and have a celebration, don't you think?" Before she could answer, Anders was already dragging her away by her hand, refusing to let go as she struggled to pull away. There was no escape.

A couple hours later, Anders and Hawke entered the Hanged Man which was full of their closes friends. They all were gathered around a table, laughing merrily with each other, large amounts of pint mugs covering the table. Hawke raised an eyebrow as she watched Isabela stand up and smurk, chugging down a large pint of mead while the others began to chant around her. This was a typical evening for the pirate queen.

"Well they look like they're having fun..." Anders laughed gently, nudging Hawkes shoulder before heading towards the table. Hawke followed slowly after, placing her staff against the wall as she sat down gently beside Merrill. She was very quiet, reading a book that Isabela gave her as a gift. It was interesting to see that Merrill was still so shy even though she'd been with them for over a year, keeping herself engrossed in books and observing the others around her.

"Not drinking, are we?" Hawke stared at Merrill's face as she didn't look away from the book.

"No…I prefer to simply enjoy the company around me...That isn't rude is it...Back in the Dalish Camp, I kept to myself often. I remember the hunters drinking around the fire. At one point, a clan member set his own hair on fire..." She laughed slightly before staring up at Hawke quickly in surprise. "Oh I'm rambling again…I'm sorry".

"Merrill..Just shush..and drink" Hawke laughed as she grabbed to jugs of ale before downing it. Tonight was going to be interesting.