Lord of the Pants
Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings. I also don't own the pants game, aka Lord of the Pants. For anyone that has no idea what I'm talking about, you replace any word in a line from LotR with the word 'pants'. If used correctly, it can be very funny. Sorry to everyone that's ever written a Lord of the Pants including professionalvampire, Insane Dragoness, NightmarePanda, The Nazgirls, Tsuchi no Sennyo, demon goddess666, and Arrai. Please don't sue me; I tried my best not to plagiarize. A lot of these lines are directly from the movie, only slightly modified by me. NOT MINE!
Well, here it is.
Prologue
It began with the making of the great pants. Three pairs were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. These pants were kept the cleanest and only worn on the most magnificent occasions. Seven to the Dwarf lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. These pants were praised because of their heat-resistant fabric. They soon wore out from frequent use. And nine, nine pairs were gifted to the race of Men, who above all else, desire power. For these pants represented the very the strength and will needed to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived, for another pair was made.
In the land of Nocleen, in the sewing room of Sauing's Dry Cleaning Service, the Lord of Dry Cleaners, Sauing, sewed in secret a master pair of pants, to control all others. And into these Pants, he poured his cruelty, his malice and above all, his incredible, putrid stench.
One pair of Pants to rule them all...