Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, or else Sasuke wouldn't be so cold-hearted and should be with Sakura by now, even though he's really getting on my nerves. -sigh-
To Survive
*~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~*
Number 10
When coming back after five years of disappearance from Konohagakure, never 'hn' at her when she tearfully welcomes you back. There will be serious consequences. Such consequences include enduring a painful hit in the jaw and having to tolerate three weeks of sitting in one bed and eating hospital food.
You still cannot forget the splitting moment of horror when she screamed at you before striking a blow to your face.
*~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~*
Number 9
Agree to have her be your doctor when the Hogake heard the news of your injuries, no matter the amount of terror you feel that you will never-ever-ever show on your face.
And try to look nonchalant when she glares at you before checking the bruises she made on you.
You, Uchiha Sasuke, never feels fear towards anyone.
Maybe -you'll never completely admit it- with the exception of her.
*~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~*
Number 8
Never, ever, ever insult her for being annoying.
Now that you're back on the team after a few months of probation, meeting up at the bridge is like a completely natural thing to do. When waiting for the two other idiots with her side-by-side, and secretly missing her constant attempts on trying to get your attention, never let the silence go on for too long. Because when she does break it and asks a random question, don't not answer it, or else she will continue pestering the same unsystematic question, and you -out of habit?- will call her annoying.
After that incident -though you should've known it from the time you returned-, you realize what a more violent person she has become.
Hospital should now be your permanent home.
*~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~*
Number 7
She is always right. Always. But you'll never admit because of your huge -and still growing- ego.
Always agree with her when Team Seven is on a mission and she's making plans on how to trap the enemy without hurting them. Always make sure you stay still and keep a straight face when she's healing you and is unaware of her soft fingers tingling your sensible skin.
Always make sure Naruto does not see the small redness on your face when he catches you looking at his beloved 'Sakura-chan' with pervertedness.
You are not a pervert.
*~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~*
Number 6
When you finally realize how much she has done for you and hoped that you would come back, never ask her out by starting with: "I need you to revive my clan." Never have her think that you're using her as a 'baby machine'.
And never send her roses when you ask her out a second time.
It's humiliating to find out the one sweet thing you've ever done for a girl made her cry because she is allergic to it.
*~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~*
Number 5
Always make sure you do whatever she pleads for, like lifting the corner of your lips a very small bit to show her that you can smile, or respond to her answers when it's the time of the month and she is having crappy mood-swings when she remembers you leaving her on a bench: "A bench! What the hell, Sasuke?"
Always make sure she is content with your answers, or else she will threaten you with your possible death and leaving you for Lee.
Lee.
Hn, no way in hell.
*~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~*
Number 4
Never make her cry anymore. Never continue to let her cry when she remembers how much she loved you and how you betrayed her by abandoning your home. Never let her tears fall because it makes your head ache and your throat clench just by looking at her porcelain figure.
Never let the girl you love suffer, anymore, as long as you're alive. Because being with her feels like home, and you won't know what will happen if your home is gone.
You don't want to imagine it.
*~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~*
Number 3
Do take care and respect her pursuers, even if they 'accidentally' grope her when you happen to pass by their rooms in the hospital as she takes a look at their injuries. Do try to remain calm when they ask her out on dates and she tells them she doesn't go out, anymore, and informs you to "Stay out of it, sweetie, or you'll be the one on the bed." Do try to tolerate Lee's behavior around her even if he knows she is dating you. Do listen to Sakura yell at you when you use your Shidori on him because you lost your temper. Do let her smack you head with her medicine pouch as she throws into a fit. Do try to maintain a cool posture even when you're feeling like you just lost a big piece of your dignity.
Can't they tell that she's yours, dammit?
*~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~*
Number 2
Never wait when you plan on proposing to her finally. Never hesitate to bring the ring out and ask her those words. Never have her walk up to you one day on your third anniversary with her and bring you a gift with her name and yours engraved upon it. Never stare and gawk at her when she kneels down on one knee and proposes to you in the middle of the street. Never let the woman propose when you've been planning on having her to marry you for the past two years.
It's beyond humiliating. Beyond.
*~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~*
Number 1
When she gives birth to your first son two years after your marriage, and smiles at you when you hold him by her bed and cradle him to sleep, always smile back at her, even in the smallest bit.
Always make sure you kiss and thank her for fulfilling your last goal. Always make sure she feels wanted and appreciated by you for all the things she's suffered and went through to make you happy. Always have her take care of you and you return the favor for the next many years.
But the most important thing, Sasuke, always make sure you love her as much as she loves you.
Okay, the ending was a bit crappy and pointless, but still, I hope this one-shot at least made you smile. A sweet Sasuke always brings happiness, ne?
Maybe? Kinda?
Please leave a review! I'd definitely appreciate it! And if you want more SasuSaku humor, read my on-going story 'A crash into reality' if you'd like. Though, I'm certainly not pushing you. I am also taking requests if any of you would like a specific one-shot. One-shots are good, 2 or 3 chapters are fine, just not too complicated and long. You can visit my profile to see what fanfiction categories I like and could write about, and PM me or leave your request in a review, which I will mostly likely delete if it doesn't have anything to do with this story. Just so you know. :)