Forbidden Rendezvous

By: I Suffer From Hubris

It was a normal night in early fall, and noted vampire Simon was sneaking out of his house like nobody's business. For tonight… young Simon would rendezvous with his secret lover.

That Clary thing, that Isabelle thing, that Maia thing…those were just pretenses. Facades Simon felt the insatiable need to hide behind. He believed he had to conceal his true self. To duck inside his Happy Cave where he was safe. Where no one could guess what he really liked.

As our daring adventurer hurried through a dense forest, he squirmed with anticipation at what was coming. Simon fantasized about his lover…

That gorgeous black hair, long and flowing, running as smoothly as water through Simon's eager fingers… Those grassy, emerald eyes, so emotionless yet full of emotion when looking at Simon… That tantalizingly bottle green tattoo of an elegant leaf across his lover's face, wrinkling when his lover's face contorted with ecstasy…

Ah, yes. Our dearly beloved Simon liked… faeries.

Especially one hottie of a faerie knight known as Meliorn.

Meliorn… what an attractive name. It tumbled gracefully off Simon's tongue as he hustled through the woodlands, three elegant syllables of one enchanting word.

Meliorn. Once just the name of Isabelle's latest fling, now the name of the person most adored by the boy, Simon. Once just an impassive slab of granite that couldn't care less about anyone or anything, now a godly, marble effigy of perfection that cherished one person only, and that was the hormonal, rampaging adolescent vampire Simon. Meliorn. Meliorn. Meliorn.

Excited shivers shot down Simon's spinal column whilst he trudged onward through his wood-ridden journey. The prolonged, endless forest extended eternally before the lad, he growing increasingly exhausted by the second. At this rate, he would have no energy saved up for his tryst with the faerie.

But that was irrelevant. If Simon had no energy once he stumbled upon Meliorn, then he would make energy to use in their night of everlasting, interminable passion…

Hark! At long last, fair Simon caught sight of a tall, shadowy figure clothed solely in a girt loincloth that wrapped majestically around his lower body. The man's upper body was partly concealed beneath a torrential flow of silky black hair, and a jade-colored, leaf-shaped tattoo winked at Simon from the chap's face.

Simon wanted to cry out, to exclaim his joy at seeing his lover again after a protracted three days, but, alas, could not. His voice box appeared to have frozen as he sauntered up to the faerie knight, coming to a halt approximately four feet away.

Meliorn noted his hesitation and said in a low baritone, "Yes, vampire? What is it you have to say?"

Simon took a few tentative steps towards the fey. It was all he could do to speak the one word that came to mind: "Meliorn." His lips caressed the word, just as Simon caressed the man by that name.

Meliorn's face shown with slightly mocking amusement. "What is it?"

Simon whispered, arching his neck to look at the man better, "I missed you."

"I missed you, also," Meliorn exhaled, wrapping his arms around the boy-vampire. "Three days is far to long for lovers like us to be apart, do you not agree?"

Simon blushed, even though he was used to such close proximity. "O-oh I agree. Meliorn." He just loved the taste of that word on his lips!

"That's what I hoped you'd say," Meliorn said against Simon's mouth, devouring the boy's lips with his own.

"Meliorn…" moaned Simon, his arms snaking around the tall man as their faces meshed into each other's, hungrily consuming as much facial space as possible.

"Simon…" Meliorn groaned back, tightening his grip on the teenager greedily.

And then came their party-crasher. "What the fucking hell is going on here?" screeched the shrill voice of a young woman Simon had quite honestly never seen before. "Meliorn, what the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Meliorn jumped back from Simon, horror apparent on his pale face. "Gwynhwyfar, this isn't what it looks like-"

"Gwynhwyfar?" Simon asked coldly, tears welling up in his dark brown eyes. "Who is Gwynhwyfar?"

"No one important-" Meliorn stammered.

"NO ONE IMPORTANT?" shrieked Gwynhwyfar. "I'm his fucking girlfriend!"

"Girlfriend?" Simon wept, teardrops flowing freely down his face, while he sent an enraged look to the shell-shocked Meliorn. "You're cheating on me with a woman?"

"CHEATING ON YOU?" screamed Gwynhwyfar. "I'VE BEEN FUCKING DATING THAT UNGRATEFUL FEY YOU'RE SUCKING FACE WITH FOR EIGHT FUCKING YEARS!"

"Eight years?" Simon hastily removed his tears and pushed Meliorn into a tree forcefully. "You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend!"

"I can explain!" insisted Meliorn, wringing his hands. It was the only time Simon had ever seen him uncomfortable, nervous, upset. He'd always seemed so… impassive, like nothing could faze him. "Simon, I-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Simon yelled in Meliorn's face, still sobbing frenziedly. "You lied to me! Never talk to me again!"

Gwynhwyfar turned to Simon, distaste etched on her actually quite ugly face. "Leave before I fucking kill you, home-wrecker."

"I didn't do anything," Simon snarled, his vampire fangs unsheathing and unfurling over his lower lip.

"AK! Your ponce boyfriend is a fucking vampire?" she squealed to Meliorn. "Why the hell are you fucking a fucking vampire behind my fucking back, Meliorn? EXPLAIN YOURSELF IMMEDIATELY!"

Simon covered his own face with a trembling hand to calm down. His world had just fallen apart at the seams, so he had to abscond and gather the pieces. Simon said gruffly to Meliorn, hatred on the boy's face, "I'm leaving. If you ever try to even talk to me again, I'll kill you. And your pathetic, ugly excuse for a girlfriend, too."

He shot the finger at Meliorn and at Gwynhwyfar for good measure, and then turned around. Our darling explorer marched off in the direction he'd come, clutching onto his few remnants of dignity.

"GET THE FUCK BACK HERE, VAMPIRE!" screamed Gwynhwyfar, and Simon whipped his head around.

He yelled at Meliorn, "You know what? You smell like mushrooms. Your tattoo looks stupid. And, I don't even like elves like you!" Simon giggled hysterically at his own daring as he picked up to a run in the way to his house.

"I AM NOT AN ELF!" Meliorn shrieked after him, but Simon didn't hear.

Simon was too busy being Simon to notice.

Fin.

A/N: Yes, I've written yet another non-canon Simon oneshot, with a mystery pairing! Ooo, so mysterious, right? Anyway, I plan on writing far more SimonxRandomMICharacter stories (SimonxAline, anyone?) so look out! If you're interested, you can check out Simonstian, which is (you guessed it) Simon and Sebastian having a non-graphic hookup. Well... what you perverts imagine is beyond me, but for extra fun in Simonstian, try to spot the seven synonyms for 'delicious' that are hidden inside! So fun, right? Right.

Either way, I DON'T OWN THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS.

Review?