Premise: This story is set in the "post-apocalypse" 2014. Instead of Cas or Dean dying, Dean lets him in as his vessel and they have to learn to live with each other. Want to find out more? Read "Winging It" by Rae Roberts! You won't regret it! Now, on with the story!
It's hard enough sharing a room with someone.
Try sharing a brain with an angel who usually acts like he has a stick up his ass. Dean thought bitterly as Cas once again forced their shared eyes from checking out a camp member Katie's fine, round little booty.
Well, mostly the two of them got along. But this was one difference that Dean couldn't stand. Cas had close to no sex drive, and was damn near asexual. It was driving Dean up the friggin' wall.
The angel observed people like an artist who would observe someone posing in the nude: highly analytical of the beauty of the human form but completely detached. He'd think to himself: This woman's body is a beautiful example of the golden ratio at work. While Dean would be thinking: DAMN, those boobs are perky.
It was infruitaing as all hell for both of them.
Like this moment, for instance. Dean had been trying to check out this girl's ass for some time now and finally as she was walking by, he reached out for a friendly squeeze of her ass when Cas tool control of his hand and jerked it away. Dean groaned audibly and curled said hand into a fist and shoved it into his pocket, embarrassed.
What the hell, dude?!
I believe if you were in her shoes, you would not appreciate that gesture very much.
It was friendly!
It was harrassment, Dean, and would be an embarrassment for me seeing that she knows that we currently share a body.
It's not harrassment, Cas, we've slept together before! It was like a "hey Katie, thanks for the great sex, let's do it again sometime!"
It was not appropriate.
Dean groaned loudly and rolled his eyes so hard his head came with it, as he swiveled around and went out of the dining cabin towards his own once again.
"We gotta talk." Dean said under his breath, leaves and gravel crunching underfoot as he made his way to his own cabin that he roomed with Chuck. The two hadn't had a heart-to-heart since they'd been sharing a body.
About what?
"This...this whole you having no sex drive thing. I haven't gotten to do anything in weeks, Cas." Dean mumbled, his hands flexing into fists. He flung open his cabin door and sank onto his bed. His mental projection of Cas materialized on Chuck's bed just across from his, sitting criss-cross and holding his ankles as he furrowed his eyebrows at Dean.
"You are my vessel, Dean, and I..." Cas began, his eyes flicking to the floor.
"-It's the end of the world, Cas!" Dean huffed, interrupting him. "And we've been doing this whole sharing a body thing way differently than other vessels and angels, okay, I know that. We've been doing a good job so far, I'll admit, but...dammit, man, I just need a good lay, alright?"
Cas's face flushed red with an embarrassed blush and he looked angrily at Dean. "I don't think you understand the severity of the situation we're in! We are supposed to take down Lucifer and be saving Sam, not thinking about...pleasures of the flesh!" He spat, almost in disgust. "Intercourse is supposed to be between two people who love each other, and you have never loved that woman!"
Dean groaned and rolled his eyes. "Like you were Mr. Clean a few weeks ago, guru." He retorted.
Cas stiffened. "I was lost then." He said in a husky voice, clearly very angry he'd brought that up. He looked away and bit his lip, pausing for a second before speaking up again. "I thought I loved them, all of them. But I confused it with my overall love for humanity. It was a mistake, Dean."
There was a short silence that overtook the small cabin. Cas was working very, very hard to obscure his emotions and make sure that Dean would never guess that he was jealous.
"You know me like a brother, Cas." Dean started up again, clasping his hands together. "There's nothing I like more than pie and women. We've been awesome roomates so far, all I'm asking is for one time with a sock on the door. One time, that's it."
"I don't understand that-" Cas began, dipping into Dean's mind to obtain the information to complete the reference.
"Hey!" Dean yelped. "We have boundaries, remember?"
"I will not interfere. I will draw myself fully out of your conscious and observe other things. You will have the body to yourself." Cas sighed and Dean could practically hear his eyeroll in his voice. "I will comply with your 'sock on the door' principle."
"Awesome. Thanks, dude. I owe you one." Dean rubbed his hands together and licked his lips. "Finally I get some ass. Damn, what's a guy gotta do around here?"
Cas grudgingly let Dean do whatever he wanted the next day, getting a handful of the blonde's ass and smirking at her. Dean could practically feel Cas rolling his eyes as he asked if she'd want to spend a little time with him after dinner that night. He disregarded the angel over his shoulder (or in his brain) and slipped her a piece of paper with his cabin number on it.
Cas commented on the slight bleach stain on the left cup of Katie's black lace bra as Dean tried to get him to shut the hell up as he tried to admire the girl in the cute lingerie in front of him. She dropped her clothes to the floor and pushed Dean down on the bed, and he fell backwards with a slight bounce as she shoved him by the middle of the chest.
That linen fabric will wrinkle very easily if she does not pick it up soon.
Angelic comments like that made the deep french kiss and pulling off his shirt just slightly less enjoyable for Dean.
The girl smirked hungrily at him before crouching on top of him and pulling down his zipper.
Bye, Cas! Dean shot out, maybe a little rudely. He could feel a little bit of the angel's irritation percolate through the thin seperation, but it was only for a brief moment before Dean felt like he was by himself for the first time in weeks. He suppressed a cry of joy at the sudden feeling of privacy and kissed the blonde with vigor, tangling his hands in her hair and savoring the moment alone in his mind.
The elation did not last very long.
Almost immediately, the angelic functions that Cas usually kept in check for him began to reveal themselves. Dean's head began to pound as more and more details began unfolding, overwhelming him with overstimulation. He could see the molecules in this girl's hair, and suddenly it was all individual strands of keratin instead of a mass of fluff. He heard her blink as her eyelids slid wetly over her eyeballs. He saw the makeup caked on her cheeks and could count each individual powder particle settled on top of her greasy blackhead pores. Ugh.
Uh, Cas? Dean asked in embarrassment. But, there was no sign of him. Suddenly this empty feeling felt a lot less like liberation and more like loneliness. The girl opened up her gaping maw with a loud, wet peeling sound and Dean felt his stomach turn at the cultivation of bacteria festering in her mouth, on her tongue, in the thin fuzzy outlining of whitish plaque on her teeth. God, when was the last time this girl brushed? This morning?
Then, he realized where this mouth was going.
"Ah-! Oh, uh...let's um...not go there." Dean sputtered, trying to play it off as a chuckle, and the girl closed her mouth, sat up as she straddled his legs and cocked her head to the side.
"What?" She asked, offended, narrowing her eyes. Dean just could tell that her voice had that slightly rough edge to it because she had had pretty severe colic as an infant.
Cas, what the shit? Dean called out, panicking. Cas was leaving him alone. He really was. He half hated him, half loved him for actually respecting his wishes. But right now, things really had to change. Dude, come back! I can't handle your freaky mojo by myself!
Nothing.
Dean looked at the girl, and could see the floaters in the vitreous body of her eyeball through the not-so-black-after-all openings of her pupils. His head pounded. This was getting even worse.
"Sorry, Katie, I don't know if I can do this right now-" He forced himself to say, and her embarrassed expression nearly made Dean faint as he saw blood vessels in her face dialate and blood poured in, red and white blood cells swirled sporarically like snowflakes in a snowglobe as they were displaced into tiny spots in her cheeks. This was what a blush was? God, whoever thought blushing was cute should see it like this. Dean felt his own face pale significantly.
Then came the wings. Dean felt them burst unexpectedly from his back with such force that the raven feathers snapped and flung directly at Katie's face. Dean saw her skin ripple as they made contact, and saw the reddish flush of blood at the sting. Her mouth was a surprised O.
"What the fuck?" She yelped, climbing off of Dean and holding her stinging face. Dean struggled to keep the massive things in check as they flapped drunkenly, he winced as they bumped the bedpost, feeling like hitting a funny bone but even worse.
"Katie, wait, just wait a second for Cas to come back-" He pleaded, zipping up his pants again. Cas, goddammit-!
"Forget it!" The girl spat, collected her clump of clothes in her arms and she stormed out of the cabin. The wooden door swung shut with a slight boom. Dean groaned in annoyance and humiliation as he covered his eyes with the palm of his hand and just lay there, finally the wings settled down with a slight bristling sound and drooped like putty over the bedframe and draped to the floor.
"Cas, I'm sorry. Please just come back, man." Dean sighed, running his hand down his face. "I was a jerk, okay? I'm sorry."
Dean looked over to see Cas standing in the middle of the room, his arms limply hanging to his side as his ill-fitting sleeves hung over his hands. He stared intensely at Dean, and Dean breathed a sigh of relief as the details began to fade away and his wings stiffened, drawing together and slipping away.
"Thanks." Dean mumbled, dipping his head and staring at his hands laced together in his lap. He felt his face flushing in humiliation.
"I didn't know that this was going to happen, Dean." Cas sunk down onto the foot of the bed and similarly clasped his hands together. "Jimmy was my first vessel, and I've never done anything like this with him."
"So I'm really only your second vessel, huh?" Dean chuckled, raising his eyes to meet Castiel's. The angel was wearing a solemn expression, his eyes piercing into Dean's. He pressed his lips together and nodded just slightly. Dean suddenly felt all his anger melt away when he realized Cas's intensions were pure.
"Thanks for trying anyway." Dean grunted, wiping a hand down his face.
"I was not trying to spite you." Cas blurted, his expression extremely guilty as he dipped his head.
"I know you weren't." Dean answered, and tried to reach out and take the angel's hands, but he stopped himself.
"I wish I could feel you." Dean admitted, squeezing his hands together instead. "I wonder how long it's going to be until I think of you as looking like me, you know?" He sighed and closed his eyes. "I miss you, man. I miss your stupid little head tilts and confused glances and intense stares. I'm sorry for all those times I got mad at you for personal space."
Dean perked up as he actually felt Cas's hands slip into his, he felt his calluses scrape against his and his fingers squeezed gently. He raised his eyes to see Cas concentrating intently.
"How are you doing this?" Dean asked in astonishment, his eyes widening.
"I'm manipulating the nerve sensors in your brain." Cas explained. Dean felt his touch starting to fade, and Cas made a sound of slight annoyance and rolled his eyes. "Don't overthink this, Dean, or your mind will begin to reject me."
"Sorry," Dean mumbled, laughing a little and squeezing his hands back. He raised his eyes and looked into his face. "Sorry for being a jerk. I don't..." He let out a big, nervous breath. Here came the confession. "I don't really mind, uh, sharing with you."
"I know." Cas replied almost guiltily. "You have very loud thoughts sometimes."
"Huh." Dean grunted, a little embarrassed. Cas reached out and took the side of his face in one palm, his fingers slipping softly over his stubble.
"I wish you didn't carry this much guilt." Cas sighed. "You are worth much more than you think."
Dean only met his eyes for half a second before looking away, he chuckled half-heartedly and shook his head. Cas frowned and took his hand away again and tucked it into the pocket of his coat.
"You're a good roomate, Cas." Dean smiled sadly. "Thanks for not, you know, leaving me to die with a snapped neck."
"Thank you for taking me in." Cas said softly. They stared at each other in complete silence for a couple of seconds, noses pointed at each other, Dean blinking and Castiel not.
"...Maybe, you were just lonely." Cas licked his lips and spoke up.
"What?" Dean asked.
"Maybe you weren't very horny after all. Just lonely." Cas restated. "Although I don't usually have sexual desires, living in a human vessel I have experienced libido before, which I believe you call 'being horny.' It did not feel much like that. Maybe you're just..emotionally horny."
Dean laughed pretty loudly at that. "So, you mean I'm just itching for a good cuddle?"
"-And attention." Cas interjected, keeping a completely straight face. "Not the kind of attention you've been getting as the camp's leader, which is all strictly business. Attention like you mean the world to them, attention like talking softly about meaningless things. That's what it seems to me like you need, Dean."
Dean flushed red and avoided the angel's eyes.
"I can provide that service." Cas said shyly. "Unlike that girl."
"So you were jealous, huh?" Dean smirked. "You never seemed like you understood the whole one night stand thing, anyway."
Cas frowned and squinted at Dean. "Don't make me rebuke my offer."
"Alright, alright." Dean mumbled, folding aside the blankets and crawling underneath. Dean patted the sheets on top of the matress and Cas hesitated before uncertainly crawling on top and laying with a good few inches between the two of them. He finally wriggled a little closer and Dean felt a soft warmth as he pieced to his side, bringing his hand up and resting it half curled into a fist on the middle of Dean's chest.
"Your heart rate is slowing already." Cas commented. "Cuddling can release anxiety. You have had quite a heavy burden, being the leader of this camp."
"Yeah." Dean mumbled, bringing his own arm around Cas's back. "I guess it's hard work. Especially that some people are a little wary of me, well, because I'm rooming with you."
"Yes." The angel replied. "There is that as well."
Dean closed his eyes as he felt his limbs getting heavier. Still, the two of them were long overdue for a talk like this. "Ever think you were gonna take me as your vessel?"
"No." Cas replied. "I was about to say "never in a million years" but I believed it to be even more improbable than that."
Dean chuckled and wrapped his arm around Cas, holding him tighter. The angel shuffled slightly and his legs slipped to tangle with Dean's. They already shared a brain, so any awkwardness or discomfort of the situation was eliminated. It was actually pretty nice, Dean found himself thinking.
Then, another thought occured to him. Cas was snuggling pretty tightly to him, so why couldn't he feel anything indicating he had any kind of genitalia? Was he purposely leaving it out as he manipulated Dean's nerves or whatever?
"Don't be crude." Cas scolded slightly. "That is not my intention at the moment."
Dean full on laughed, throwing his head back into the pillows as his chest squeezed. "You're one weird dude, Cas." He joked, lightly squeezing his shoulder to show he didn't intend for it to be mean.
Then, Dean began to laugh again. "God, today was a disaster." He said aloud, picturing the odd looking bloody blush on that girl's face and the wing that whiplashed her and that O of surprise on her lips from that god-awful disgusting mouth. He laughed even harder.
"That was humiliating, a one night stand seeing my wings like that." Cas huffed. "Completely innapropriate."
"You're worried about your wings? Dude, after seeing that mouth, I don't think I can ever get a BJ again!" Dean laughed again, holding his angel close. His muddle of emotions was confusing him; he loved him in multiple ways as he respected him as an angel, loved him like a brother but also as something more. He wished he had that clear vision again if it would give him some understanding as to what he was feeling.
"Don't overthink it." The angel mumbled very grumpily as Dean began to feel the sensation of Cas next to him fading away. Dean chuckled at how what he had said inadvertantly related to what he'd just been thinking about and he closed his eyes, just feeling his warmth.
"I'll try not to." Dean replied softly with a smile, and he ran his hand through the angel's soft hair, letting out a satisfied breath.
He'd never exactly had a complete-feeling soul. He'd never realized until Cas possessed him that it felt a lot like he was alone in this huge, empty house. Cas softly breathed next to him and pulled himself up to rest his head on his chest. Dean smiled and snaked his arm around his back, liking that Cas was extremely warm but much lighter than a real human body would be, if it wasn't just the angel manipulating his mind to think someone was there. And that big, empty house felt just a little cozier. So yeah, he didn't really mind having a roommate.