This is my first Loveless fanfic. Soubi is probably OOC but I had this in my head and needed to put it to paper. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless but I would like to own Soubi. XD

Also contains mild swearing. I warned you, continue at your own risk.

Some days Soubi is warm and welcoming but others he stays silent and stares off into some invisible past.

I remember when and where I first met him. It was about six months after Ritsuka left Soubi to be with his true Sentouki. I was a barmaid and had seen him many times in the bar before but he never sat in my section. That one night, he sat at the bar which I was assigned to serve that night. Usually I brushed off or ignored any guy who tried to hit on me but he was different. He kept sitting in my sections every night so he could talk to me. After about two weeks of this, he finally asked me out for coffee after I was done with my shift. After that, when we had been together for about a year, I moved in with him since I usually spent most of my time at his apartment anyway.

I met Ritsuka once after he found out that I was dating his former Sentouki. He filled me in on Soubi's horrible past including Ritsu and Ritsuka's older brother, Seimei. I never told Soubi about that day in the coffee shop in case I learned more that what he wanted me to know.

Everything has been fine except Soubi started to change about two months ago. He started getting drunk every night like he used to before I met him. He also started to yell at me over small things like doing the dishes or sweeping the floor. I tried to keep him happy but sometimes my will wanted to break.

Today, he was silent. I could hear the clinking of glasses from our bedroom. He started drinking early, too early. By six o'clock, when I ventured out for dinner, Soubi was glassy-eyed. I tried to make myself as unnoticeable as possible but he still saw me. He called me over to where he was sitting on the sofa. I offered to share my meal but he pushed it away. Instead he just put his arm around my shoulder.

"You know what's funny, Yuuka? I just realized that everyone keeps walking away from me. I'm never the one doing the walking. Ritsu left me when he took my ears, Seimei left me when he died, Ritsuka… Ritsuka left me for a… a bitch of a woman. I'm waiting for the day you decide to leave me too. My name may be Beloved, but I might as well be named Loveless," he laughed.

He was extremely drunk. Never once had he mentioned Ritsu or Seimei to me. Suddenly, Soubi's attitude changed.

"You're going to leave me, aren't you?" he yelled at me as he stood up, bringing me with him, "I should have never trusted myself to such a slut! I bet this is just some rouse to make it look like you're respectable! But I know better, you've been going around behind my back!"

He raised his hand and slapped me across the face.

"No, Soubi, no!" I cried. "You're drunk! You don't know what you're saying! I love you, Soubi."

"I know what I'm saying! You're trying to lead me astray!" he continued, gripping my shoulders tightly now.

I felt the tears start to roll down my face. I decided to stay silent to avoid saying anything to further upset Soubi. It wasn't enough.

"I bet you're liking this now, you… you whore! You like being beaten!" he was out of his mind.

"Soubi! Stop! This isn't you! You aren't the man I've been living with..." I sobbed. "Soubi…"

For some reason, this snapped him out of whatever trance he was in. He let go of me like I was burning and turned his back on me. I crumpled to the floor.

"What am I doing?" he asked himself out loud.

"Soubi?" I called quietly.

"You should leave here. I'm not suitable to stay with anyone for too long. We've met the end of our path together," he stated quietly.

"What do you mean?" I asked emotionally. "I'm not leaving you!"

"You can't stay here. I'm not supposed to have anyone close to me. If you stay, this will only happen again and it will be worse next time," Soubi said.

I couldn't take it anymore. I just had to get out of that living room. I got up quietly and swiftly went to the bedroom to lock myself in but before the door closed, I muttered a quick 'I love you' to Soubi.

There wasn't much I wanted to do. I couldn't read, my thought kept getting in the way. It was hard to sleep too. I wasn't able to fall into sweet, forgetting sleep until I put music on. Without it, my thoughts kept racing, keeping me awake. It was when everything finally went black.

I do not in any way support or approve of prolonged domestic violence but sometimes people do just get physical.