Title: My Sundown
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles
Author: greygirl03
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T
Genre: Drama/Angst/Friendship

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

A/N: First of all, this is my first ever fic with Rizzoli & Isles characters, I'd like to think that they're pretty true to character, but if they're not I apologize. I also would like to be forthcoming that this is a F/F story. If you don't care to be open minded in regards to this pairing then please don't read! This should be a story of fair length. As of this moment, I have 25,000 words written, and I am almost finished (I only have about three chapters to go). I held off on posting this story until it was complete because I have so many unfinished stories and don't want to leave my readers hanging. That being said, I think it would still be nice for me to get some input from you guys, while you read. This will help me make sure I continue it in a way that is satisfying to you. I've rated it T as a precaution. If there are any chapters in which there is sexual content, I promise I will give you a warning beforehand.

Thanks for reading!

Title: My Sundown

Fandom: R&I

Pairing: Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I

It was late on Friday night in early Fall, and the air was crisp and cool. Leaves of dramatically different hues of red, orange, yellow, and brown swirled around in the swift breeze. Jane slowly made her way through the inner city, stopping at nearly every intersection. For some reason, Jane seemed to be out of luck. She was hitting all the yellow and red streetlights, as opposed to the preferred green. On any other day she would have made a joke about her misfortune, but tonight she was in no mood for humor. She just wanted it to end. With that thought, Jane checked the clock again and let out an exhausted sigh as she discovered that only a couple of minutes had passed since the last time she'd checked. After another five minutes of driving, she pulled up outside of her apartment. The sky was darkening quickly, and traces of pink and orange were the only lingering evidence that the sun had in fact been there only minutes before. Several stars peaked through broken clouds, though the moon was noticeably absent. Jane pulled herself out of her car, wiping a hand over her exhausted features.

On days like today, Jane tried not to carry her work home with her. Today, however, that was easier said than done. A child was with his family tonight, but would be scarred for life. He'd lost his mom and his sister.

Jane trudged down the hallway towards her apartment, pulling out her keys as she walked. She dropped them as she went to life them to the lock to unlock the door, and cursed. It was just the kind of day she was having. Finally, with a victorious click, and a turn of the knob, the door swung open. Jo rushed over to greet her and she bent down to scratch her behind the ears. Jo yipped excitedly, licking Jane's fingers as she withdrew her hand.

"It's good to see you too, Jo," Jane greeted in return. After a minute or so, Jo lost interest and scurried back to her favorite place on the couch. "Not so fast!" Jane called after her and she came running back. "It's time to go outside." Jo tilted her head to the side as Jane opened the door. "You know what that means." Jane started walking to the door and Jo shot by her with a rocket, running a few steps in front of her before turning to make sure Jane was in fact following.

Together they walked down the hallway, the steps, and walked to Jo's favorite tree outside. Jane crossed her arms as she expelled a shaky breath. Her breath misted in front of her before dispelling into thin air. Jane waited patiently for Jo to finish and walked back inside with Jo in step beside her.

After closing the door behind her, Jane tossed her keys on the counter as she walked into the kitchen. The only thing she wanted after a day like the one she'd had was a beer. She'd closed a case today, but felt little cause for celebration. After all, she knew that she'd probably have a fresh case the next day, and would have to do it all, all over again. She let out a sigh as she pulled open the fridge to pull out a cold beer. She paused, however, as a knock sounded at the door.

For a moment, Jane was tempted to just shout that it was open. There was a ninety percent chance it was Maura, but there was also a ten percent chance it was her brother or a neighbor. Figuring it was better to be safe than sorry, and not wanting to be rude, Jane walked over to the door, and pulled it open. Jane's jaw fell open in shock.

"Casey," Jane breathed in disbelief. He wore civilian clothes, but looked as well and put together as ever.

"Hello, Jane," he smiled.

"I…" Jane swallowed, feeling at a loss for words. "What are you doing here?"

"Would you mind if I came in?" Casey asked softly, looking up and down the hallway. Jane pushed the door open further and stepped back, as if that was the only response necessary. She hoped that it was, because she wasn't sure if she trusted herself to say anything at all. Thankfully, Casey needed no further indication. He was just grateful that she was giving him a chance.

"So… not that I mean to sound like a parrot," Jane said finally after he closed the door behind him. "But what are you doing here? I thought you would be drilling your own troops by now."

"I was," Casey said after taking a moment to clear his throat. There was sadness in his twinkling blue eyes that left her feeling guilty. "And then this came," he spoke as he pulled a small box from his pocket. There was a long moment's silence, as they both struggled to speak.

"Look," Jane sighed. "I didn't mean to hurt you. But what did you expect me to do?"

"I don't know," Casey voiced tremulously.

"Did you really expect me to drop everything, and come running?" Jane said simply. "I thought I said everything that needed to be said in my email."

"You did," he said sadly. "And though I understand your reasons for turning me down. I-I didn't want that to be our last conversation." He stepped forwards, reached for her hand and lifted it, before gently placing the box in her upturned palm. "I want you to have this, Jane. Please. I gave it to you, and its yours."

"Casey," Jane sounded as equally distraught. "Do you know how much this costs?"

"You think that that's the thing I care about?" Casey asked her and she flinched visibly.

"I'm sorry," Jane whispered as tears pricked at her eyes. "This… This isn't easy for me either," Jane admitted. "In fact, it nearly destroyed me. This isn't what I wanted for us."

"I'm sorry," Casey murmured consolingly.

"You're not the only one at fault," Jane argued.

"No." he pleaded. "I need to say this. Please." He took a deep breath. "I understand that it was wrong of me to put this on you, Jane. I never should have expected you to drop everything in your life, just to be with me. I know how much you love your job, and your family. Asking you to give up all of those things was selfish; especially when I couldn't do the same for you. And I… As much as it hurts, I understand why things couldn't work out between us. But, no matter what, I want you to know that I love you. I will always love you. And I'm sorry for hurting you." She looked down to the floor in an effort to try and hide her tears. But before long, she felt Casey's hand under her chin, coaxing her to look up into his eyes.

"I love you, Jane," the low rumble of Casey's voice spoke softly, filling the room. She meet his twinkling blue eyes, and held them, as he used the pad of his thumb to brush away her tears.

And before she knew what was happening, he was kissing her. The pressure on the back of her neck and the small of her back implored her to deepen the kiss, and instinctively she complied. He turned and in a perfectly coordinated move, pushed her up against the wall in the entryway. Things seemed to happen between blinks of the eye. Before she even thought about it, Casey's hands were under her shirt and she was kissing him back as if her life depended on it. Her arms lifted over her head as he wrenched the fabric up her midriff. She distantly thought about where this encounter was headed as her shirt fluttered to the floor halfway down the hall. But as his lips, encountered her once more, all thoughts went away from her.

She practically melted as lips brushed the hollow behind her ear, and then the skin of her neck. He didn't back away, though their faces were only inches apart. Jane's mouth opened, her tongue darting out to moisten her lips. Casey didn't wait long. Jane's eyes darted down to his lips and back again. By now, she was strangely detached from the situation. In fact, it felt as if she were watching it all occur from outside of her own body, as atypical as that sounds. His hands dropped from their place on the wall to her hips. A gasp was all that left Jane's parted lips before Casey pushed her back against the wall, and tugged upward, nestling her between him and the wall. Jane's legs wrapped around his hips for stability and leverage, and Jane could only moan as Casey kissed her roughly, his lips taking hers in a demanding kiss.

It was at that moment that the door swung open. She hadn't heard the knock, or Maura calling her name. Not until Maura was already stepping inside.

"Jane?" Maura's voice filled the entryway. Maura's drifted up from where they'd been looking at the floor and she promptly dropped the bag she'd been holding out of sheer shock. "Oh my god!" All realization of what she'd walked in on slammed into her, as she saw Jane's state of undress and the way her legs were wrapped against Casey's hips. She heard Jane moan, as Casey, gradually shifted, in order to let her down. "I'm so sorry," Maura's voice cracked as she wrenched open the door open and fled down the hall as fast as her feet could possibly carry her. With two feet back on the ground, Jane quickly stepped around Casey with a grumble.

He heard Jane growl further as she rushed over to pick up her shirt off of the floor. He heard more rustling and then finally Jane reappeared. He expected her to say something…anything, but she didn't so much as spare him a glance.

"Maura, wait!" Jane yelled as she forsook Casey and rushed out after her best friend, she turned right and ran down past several doors. Maura, however, did not look back. She couldn't believe she'd been so stupid. She should have known, she kept telling herself. "Maura, please. Let me explain!" Maura had just reached the front door, though her hand paused on the handle. It was just enough of a pause for Jane. And before Maura knew it, Jane's hand was clasping around her wrist with a gentle, but firm touch.

"Maur," Jane's soft, winded voice, was close enough that it caused Goosebumps to creep their way up Maura's arms, neck, and shoulders. "Please," Jane rasped in a voice that was equally patient as it was fervent. "Let me explain." Maura flinched briefly before turning around. She tried to steal herself for the look in Jane's soft brown eyes, but failed. It hurt. It physically hurt to look at her.

"There's nothing to explain," Maura snapped. "I walked in on you in your house, remember?" Then, before she could stop it an apology was spilling from her lips. "I'm so sorry," Maura said sincerely. "I knocked, and when no one answered, I thought you must not have heard." She took a steading breath. "So I tried the handle, and… Well, I guess you know the rest."

"It's okay," Jane said softly. "I'm the one that gave you a key." Jane reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose, as she felt guilt swell inside her.

"You know. It's okay to look at me now, Maur," Jane joked, as if that would make the situation all better. "I have a shirt on now." She tried not to notice the pain in Maura's expression, or the way that Maura couldn't meet her eyes.

"Maur," Jane breathed softly. "I'm sorry. I didn't even know Casey was in town. He showed up tonight without even calling…"

"I said that there was nothing to explain," Maura said, cutting her off. "It's your house. Obviously, you can do whatever you want." She took a deep breath. "I'm just sorry for the intrusion." Maura felt more of a need to get out of there than she'd ever felt before. "I'll leave now."

"Don't lie, Maur," Jane nearly whispered. "I can see you're upset. Plus, you know… you're umm… breaking out in hives." Maura silently cursed her inability to lie like a normal freaking human being. And Jane silently kicked herself for pushing the issue. But she could see that something was really ripping Maura apart.

"I just…" Maura was at a loss for words. But just as quickly, all of her feelings came rushing forwards, and she was caught up in the torrent. For once, she was tired of holding everything back out of fear. So she just let go, and let the words come pouring out. "I just can't believe that you'd even consider taking him back after how badly he hurt you!" The depth of the hostility in which she referred to Casey took Jane aback.

"Whoa!" Jane stalled as she threw up a hand and took a step back. "Where on earth is this coming from?" she asked Maura. "l… I thought you liked Casey."

"I used to," Maura retorted.

"Oh?" Jane challenged. "And when did that change, exactly?" Jane teased, but somehow, Maura interpreted it quite differently. She saw what she thought was a flash of anger in Jane's eyes and felt the need to defend her words.

"When he started treating you as if you were the one that had to conform to his wants and needs," Maura said honestly. "Have you already forgotten what he asked you to do, Jane? He asked you to give up your job, your friends, your home. I mean, god, Jane! Don't you see it? He's…He's still trying."

"No," Jane shook her head. "He's not." Jane shook her head. "Look, he came here to apologize. To give me the ring back."

"That's not what it looked like to me," Maura argued, her face flushed with anger. Jane noticed how Maura's hands were curled into fists. Jane briefly looked down to her own. Her stance mirrored Maura as if they were squaring off. Both were in a combative stance. "To me, it looks like he's still trying to get you to change your mind."

"You don't know what you're saying, Maura," Jane defended.

"No," Maura interrupted. "I know exactly what I'm saying. Jane." Jane's jaw clenched. "You're forgetting that I walked in on you," Maura spat the last word; sounding as if she were disgusted by the words, and she supposed that maybe she was disgusted. Or maybe it was just hurt. "What was happening in there was anything but innocent, so don't try to tell me otherwise."

"I didn't even realize what was happening, okay?" Jane hated the fact that she was trying to make excuses for herself, or for Casey for that matter. "He kissed me, and I acted on instinct. And it's not like we haven't been intimate be-"

"Don't," Maura screamed. "I don't need to hear about it! Witnessing it was bad enough."

"Maur," Jane sighed.

"I'm leaving," Maura said finally, giving up. "I'm done with this conversation. I'm just done." "Go ahead and do whatever you want."

"I don't understand," Jane said full of exasperation. "You're my friend. I thought you wanted me to be happy."

"I do want that, Jane," Maura said as tears built up in her eyes. "In fact, I want that very much." She tried to swallow over the break in her voice. "But…"

"But you just don't want me to be with him," Jane tried to clarify. Maura know longer trusted herself to speak. "I mean…that makes total sense. Because it's not like I haven't been dating him for the last year a half, and wasn't engaged to him," Jane spoke sarcastically. Maura opened her mouth to speak. "And before you say anything," Jane waved her off, "I would have you know that I'm an adult, and I'm more than capable of making my own decisions."

"Of course you are," Maura said just as sarcastically.

"Maur," Jane rasped weakly.

Maura just shook her head. And then with one last look in Jane's eyes, she turned. "I hope you figure everything out, Jane. I really do." Maura yanked open the door and rushed down the steps, trying to swallow her own cries.

"Damnit," Jane hissed, raking a hand through her unruly, curls. "I'm an idiot," she murmured to herself as she rushed after Maura.

"Wait up! Please, wait!" Jane said as she chased Maura to her car. Maura kept walking as quickly as she could. Jane squeezed by Maura's shoulder cutting her off just before she could reach the handle on the driver's side door of her blue Toyota Prius. Maura turned, trying to flee in the other direction, but Jane was already ahead of her, reading Maura's intentions. Jane quickly pressed a hand to the car on one side of Maura's head and quickly boxed her in with a hand on each side of Maura's head, effectively holding Maura against the car without actually touching the honey blonde. "Look," Jane said sadly, "I didn't mean that, okay? I just…." "You have to understand that you caught me off guard. And I mean by that I mean completely off guard!" Jane sighed. "Maur, please look at me." Maura shook her head. Jane was close enough to feel Maura's breath on her face. "I'm sorry, okay. I'm so sorry," she apologized as she realized for the first time that Maura was crying. Jane reached up gently and wiped away a tear weaving its way down Maura's cheek.

"I never should have said anything," Maura whispered while trying to look away. But Jane stubbornly held Maura's eyes.

"No. That's not true," Jane replied calmly.

"Yes it is," Maura argued softly.

"No, it's not," Jane said adamantly, "Maur, if anything? You should have said something sooner."

"Why?"

"Why?" Jane repeated softly, her voice a practiced imitation of Maura's. "Because… Because I feel like you blindsided me today. I've been seeing Casey on and off for years, and you never said anything to me." Maura just listened to Jane. She could see that Jane was as hurt as she felt. "And I know that it's not truly the case, but it feels you've been lying to me." Jane nearly whispered the last bit.

"I've never lied to you…" Maura replied. "Jane, you know I've never lied to you."

"I know. I know that you haven't," Jane said while brushing another tear away. "But sometimes you don't have to lie to hurt someone." Maura nodded. "And I don't want you to feel like you ever have to hold back. Because that's the last thing I ever want to happen between us." Jane took a deep breath. "I want you to feel like you can tell me everything."

"But that's just it, isn't it?" Maura said closing her eyes, timorously. "I can't tell you everything. Because I just told you how I felt, and then you got angry with me."

"Hold up a sec," Jane said softly. "Let me just clarify something. I reacted the way I did because I was surprised, okay? I was hurt. And that's the only reason I reacted the way I did. It wasn't because I was angry with you for sharing how you felt. It was because I felt hurt."

"Oh," Maura breathed. Jane leant forwards her forehead brushing against Maura's.

"Maur," Jane breathed back. "I need you to promise me that you won't keep secrets from me, and that…you won't hold back your feelings at my expense. You're my best friend for crying out loud, and if I can't trust you to be honest with me, I can't trust anyone."

"But there are some things that I can't ever tell you," Maura said finally.

"Yeah?" for a moment Jane thought Maura was joking. "And what's that?" And then she realized that Maura looked absolutely terrified, and Jane wasn't sure she could handle it. "Hey," She smiled. "Are you really that afraid of me?"

"I'm afraid of what I might lose, if I tell you how I really feel," Maura managed.

"You'll never lose me," Jane promised whole-heartedly. "I promise you that, Maur." Maura was silent. "So what else haven't you told me?" Jane asked inexorably. "Or do I have to beg some more?"

Wanting to be compliant, Maura used her arms to push off of the car. Jane's eyes fluttered closed as Maura tilted her jaw upwards and moved the last couple of inches. Jane felt the gentle pressure of soft, pliant lips against her own. Noses brushed together as the kiss quickly deepened. Jane's hands moved paused at Maura's shoulders, before ultimately slipping into Maura's hair. Soft silken strands ran through her fingers, as Jane tried to keep some sort of hold on the invaluable woman who was kissing her. Jane's lips parted a small fraction as Maura teasingly ran her tongue along the edge of Jane's lower lip, seeking entrance, and Jane let out a moan as Maura's tongue slipped inside to mate with its counterpart. It was the best feeling in the world, a shocking revelation that made the world momentarily stop-spinning. How had she never realized her feelings for Maura before?

Jane's chest felt tight as she ceased breathing in favor of lengthening what she considered to be a perfect kiss. It was easily the best kiss she'd ever shared with anyone. For that very same reason, Jane knew that she was in serious trouble. The intensity of her feelings for the woman was only growing. A moan escaped Maura's lips as Jane pulled herself closer so that her body was flush against Maura's. Maura retreated as air became a necessity and the kiss broke. They locked eyes briefly. Jane couldn't seem to take in enough air, and so she took in oxygen through labored rasps. Jane saw what she could only assume was regret cross over Maura's features, and pulled away.

"Well," Casey's voice had them both jumping. "That's something I never saw coming."

"Casey, wait! I…." Jane called in a breathless rasp, as she stepped around Maura. A second later, Jane realized instincts had failed her again. By the time, she realized her mistake and turned back to where Maura had been standing a moment before, Maura was pulling open the driver's side door of her car and was inside.

In five seconds Jane had effectively ruined the two most important relationships she'd had in her lifetime. Still, she had to try to salvage one of them. She heard the car's engine come to life and did the only thing she could think of to keep Maura from speeding away with a cacophony of squealing tires. She sprinted around the front of the car and stood in front of the Prius with her hands on the hood. Surprised that it was that easy to turn her back on Casey.

"Maura!" Jane shouted, hoping that Maura could hear her over the engine.

"Maura," Jane yelled again, as she refused to budge. "Maura, please don't leave like this! Not after what just happened."

"Really, Jane!" Maura hissed through a partially rolled down window, part in anger, and part out of hurt. "I kissed you, and your instinct is to go after him?"

"Maur," Jane frantically tried to block Maura's way, but the blonde was determined now, and Jane had a feeling that nothing would stop her. "I'm not going after him, am I? The only thing that matters to me in this moment is stopping you from leaving! I couldn't possibly care any less about Casey!"

"The damage is done, Jane," Maura said strongly. "What's the saying? That actions speak louder than words?"

"Maura, please!" Jane said as she tried to stall Maura. "I'm sorry, okay? I was just shocked by it. I never thought… I never thought that you could possibly have feelings for me!" The notion made Jane feel all warm inside. She never realized how much she relished the blonde's affection.

"Do you love me?" the question was out before Maura could stop it.

"Of course I love you," Jane's answer was instantaneous. "How can you even ask that?"

"I'm not talking about in a friendly way," Maura said, her voice breaking. She looked to be in pain.

"Maur," Jane hardly dared to speak. "I…I've just never thought about you like that…" A lie. Jane wanted to kick herself. What exactly was it that she was afraid of? What did she stand to lose for telling the truth? Didn't she deserve to be happy?

"Never?"

"Okay," Jane sighed, defeatedly. "Okay. You've got me. I have thought about it… a lot actually."

"And?"

"I don't know what to say, Maur," Jane breathed aloud. "You're my best friend. You mean everything to me!" Maura realized there were a lot of things that Jane had left unsaid. It didn't bode well for her.

"And do you love him?" Jane didn't answer. Knowing that if she did, Maura wouldn't like it.

"I can't…answer that," Jane struggled. "Maura, please don't let this ruin us. I love you and care about you, isn't that enough?"

"No." The revving of Maura's engine, told Jane that she had approximately ten seconds to get out of the way before Maura made her get out of the way. She decided that she'd done enough damage for one night, and ran up onto the sidewalk just as Maura sped off.

Jane never felt as hollow and empty as she did in that one moment.

"I don't know, Jane," Maura shook her head. "I just don't know."

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A/N: Okay, so I know that it was evil of me to leave it there! But I've got to keep you coming back for more, don't I? Please let me know if you're interested! Like any author here, I love feedback! You could even say that it's what powers my brain when I'm typing late into the night!

Thanks again for checking out my story! :D I'll update soon!