I hit the punching bag with all my might. I felt my suit jack restrict my arm, so I threw it to the ground and kicked off my heels before continuing. Tears boiled in my eyes as I hit harder and harder. My chest shuddered as my breathing choked. I hit the bag so hard it hurt. The pain was satisfying as it ran up my arm. That freaked me out.
"What is wrong with me?" I whispered and my throws paused as I wiped at my eyes. The sobs I had tried to keep down broke through my lips. My knees weakened and I collapsed, landing on my hip. Gathering my legs up, I sat and cried.
I don't understand; I've never reacted this way about a guy. What was wrong? I've known about my feelings for Auggie for a couple weeks. I couldn't wrap my mind around what was making me so upset. Rejection, I guess. Or not being enough; not loving enough, not open, just not enough. How could I ever be enough? I felt inadequate, maybe irrationally so, but I couldn't help it. I was still crying when the gym door opened.
"Annie?" It was the voice I had been hoping for and dreading. I tried to stop the tears but I knew he could tell anyway. "Annie?" His voice was concerned and panicked.
"Over here, by the punching bag," I said with a thick voice. He brushed one of my shoes with his foot and sent it skittering away.
"Down here," I sniffed. He knelt down slowly and reached out hesitantly. His hand landed on my elbow and trailed up my arm until he touched my hand. He pulled it away from my face as my sniffling stop. Tears still leaked down my face and my body shook as I drew in shuddering breathes. He reached out again and he hand touched my cheek. I felt his palm flatten and his thumb brush the flowing tears from my eyes. His touch sent warmth through me and made my heart race in my chest.
"Auggie," I whispered in quiet awe. I looked up at him and my heart seemed to melt at the soft, concerned pain on his face.
"Shhhh. What's wrong, Annie?" Auggie asked. I wasn't sure if I could answer him. I swallowed hard and took another shaky breath.
"I-I … I don't know what to say without ruining everything between us," I admitted with downcast eyes. Auggie's face was shocked and confused when I looked at him.
"Annie, are you saying that you…," he didn't finish. I nodded. Fresh tears ran down my cheek and onto his hand. I let out a small sob before I answered.
"I love you, Auggie." I closed my eyes because I was too ashamed and afraid to see his face. The silence that followed was agonizing. Fear of what I had done crept into my mind with every passing second until I felt his other hand on my face. He pulled my head close until his breath danced on my lips.
"I love you." And his lips touched mine. They pressed gently until I tilted my head and deepened the kiss a little. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned against Auggie's chest. Heat raced from everywhere he touched me and soared through my veins. I could barely breathe with happiness. His soft lips were warm as they kissed me. His hands trailed down my neck and around my shoulders; slowly down my sides until they stopped at my hips. I felt my breath catch and I leaned even more into him. He pulled me tighter until we were falling.
Landing knocked the wind out of me and we stopped. I lay on top of Auggie with my legs around his waist and arms around him. I laughed at the shocked expression on his face and the absurdity of it all and he did, too. I leaned my head down and kissed him again.
"I love you, Auggie."
"I love you, Annie."