Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star. I do not own the song "I can Still feel you". I did create the character Peirre-Vincrent. Oh, but I do wish I owned Tim Rozon. HAHA.
It's that feeling that someone
Is standing behind me
And I turn around and there's no one there
God, It had been three months and he still couldn't deal with the fact she was gone. It was like every corner he turned he thought she'd be there with a smile and laugh just for him. He still expected her to be at G Major when he got there. Wanting to work on some new song together. Something amazing, something about them and how much they loved each other.
And it's the sensation
That someone just whispered
Yeah and I still hear your voice but you're not really here
"Tommy!" "Tommy, I have this new song. I want you to hear it and tell me what you think." God when was the toucher of her not being there gonna end?
Your memory is like a ghost
And my heart is it's host
When was he going to be able to sort memory from reality? He could see every corner filled with the whispers of some touch or caress, some past promise of eternal love and devotion.
I can still feel you just as close as skin
Every now and then
All by myself, in a crowded room, or my empty bed
It didn't matter where he was. Sleeping in his apartment, when all of a sudden he could smell her perfume and feel her hair brush his shoulder. Or at a record release party he could feel a hand taking his, a body leaning into him, a perfect fit. His heart would do a few million flips. But when he would spin around to see if it could really be her, all that was really there was... Empty air.
There's a place you've touched
With your love no one gets close to
Tons of girls, not only those in the industry had tried and tried again to fill her place in his heart. None ever even came close.
I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you
You said you'd love me forever
Then you said it's over
And left me without the missing link
They had been so happy. And not a day went by he didn't thank God above for Jude. How many times had he pushed her away, hurt her, made her feel like crap, yet she still loved and wanted him. Wanted to save him from his worst enemy. Himself. They were engaged for only a few days before she broke it off saying she needed to "spread her wings on he own". It took him a while to figure it out. She was right. But why did it have to hurt him so much? Lord knows he deserved some pain of his own after what he's put her through though.
I thought I'd forget you
But I guess I forgot to
And lately I've been too confused to think
Not long after Jude had been gone five months he told Darius he couldn't do it. He couldn't keep working where he and Jude had so many memories. Darius was actually very understanding and had given him three months pay before he'd left. Tommy had then decided it was time to try a solo career. He'd written a couple songs since Jude had left and Jamie "gollum" Andrews was helping him record the songs. They were all about Jude. At the beginning they were about how angry he was at her for leaving. His hurt, his feeling of betrayal, and just how much she'd cut him. Then they were about coming to understand why she left him. Now they were about how much he loved and missed her, asking when she'd be home, and if he still had a chance with her. Some times though, it was really hard to even go to NBR . He'd look into Jamie's eyes and see the look he knew was in his own. Sorrow, loss, Jaime missed Jude almost as much as he did .
When I reach for someone new
It's like I'm touching you
About six months after she left, according to the tabloids she had moved on. Jude was dating some French pop rocker named Pierre-Vincent who had sighed on to her new label. Apparently France was finally having it's Boy/Girl band craze and had no room for rockers. Chaz had called once to "check up on him" and had mentioned a chance to be raking in with Boys Attack. He'd told Chaz a flat "NO" and hung up. He didn't know any French anyway. He'd tried to call Jude thousands of times. She'd never answered. Jude lived in a whole new rockin' roll world that didn't include him. So he had tried to move on as well. But every time it got to the point of leaving a bar, club, or some party with a slinky dressed, pretty drunk, gigily girl, he just couldn't do it. He felt like he was betraying Jude, he'd always see her looking in the girls eyes, then he'd run from whoever he was with.
I can still feel you just as close as skin
Every now and then
All by myself, in a crowded room, or my empty bed
A year after she left he woke to the feel of someone climbing into bed with him. He could smell Jude's perfume, feel her hair on his shoulder. God this was the most realistic hallucination ever. He could see every detail of her perfectly, smell the sweetness of her breath. He moaned and rolled over. "So that's the greeting I get after a year away?"she said laughing. "Your not really here. This is just another mirage."he replied. He felt a hand on his face. "Tommy it's me. I'm here. Really." "Yeah right", he said, "The real Jude is probably somewhere sipping tea with her new French boy toy." "Who? Oh! You mean Pierre-Vincent . Don't you read the tabloids anymore? He's GAY! The media just made our friendship into romance so they could sell more papers."she exclaimed. "Oh. Well then "Jude" why did you never call me"he said spitefully. "Because if I did or if I answered your calls I'd find myself on a one way flight back here. I missed you so much. I was just afraid if I had any contact with you I'd never be able to know if I could do it on my own. Now I know I can, but now I also know I don't want to." she retorted. "Sure" he spat. "Tommy if I wasn't really here could I be able to do this?" With that she grabbed him and kissed him, hard, fiercely, with a year of pent up passion. He returned the favor in equal measure. After about five minutes the pulled apart gasping for air. "I guess not" he replied smiling. He then reached for her again.
There's a place you've touched
With your love no one gets close to
I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you
This was my first FanFic. Please review.