One night is all it takes to change a person's life. I sometimes wonder if it is fate or chance that things happen in the way that they do. Is there a reason behind everything that happens or is it life giving us a chance to grow into better, stronger people.
I don't blame him for the events that happened that night. The events that took part were out of everyone's hands. Our decisions lead to consequences, both positive and negative and when those choices are made, we have nothing to do but to accept what happened because it was our choice to do so whether we were aware of it or not at the time.
Sometimes I wonder if we are all headed on one path, predetermined by the powers that be, or if it is our own free will to make the decisions that lead us on the path we choose. I never found the answers to those questions, maybe I'm still looking or maybe I don't care. I chose to do what I did because I made the best out of the situation I had gotten myself into.
It all started that night at our graduation ceremony after party. Everyone from my year was celebrating from having graduated and we did so how any teenager new best, by partying. I remember that I could feel the base thumping through the floor as the music was turned up so high. I was surprised because there were a lot of demons in the room and many of them had sensitive hearing. But that didn't seem to matter and no one else seemed to care.
The room was dark apart from the flashing lights that had been rigged up around the room. I remember sitting in the corner of the room with some of my mates. As far as we knew we were adults but free of the obligation and responsibility that came with adulthood.
Yuka Eri and Ayumi were giggling next to me as we sat at one of the tables at the edge of the dance floor. They were pointing to the couples that had paired up during the dance and discussing whether or not they would last. They turned to me with identical mischievous expressions on their faces as they got up and half pulled half shoved me onto the dance floor. I loved to dance when I was younger but during high school I didn't seem to find the time between studying for exams, hanging out with the girls and dealing with my father.
Emboldened by the confidence flowing through my veins I walked onto the dance floor surrounded by my friends and I started to move slowly loosening the kinks in my muscles and then freely, feeling the music take control of my body. When I danced all of my worried seemed to fall away and I felt inhibited.
I was popular in high school, not overly so, but enough to get on well with everyone. I gazed around the room as I moved across the floor when I noticed that everyone was drinking. My eyes shifted over the room and landed on a person hunched over in the corner drinking very heavily. A dangerous feeling settled into the pit of my stomach and I started to feel the fear take over. I turned back around and stopped to find that the person had disappeared into the mass of bodies littering the house.
The heavy pounding of the bass was starting to mix badly with my head and I looked around for my friends and tell them of my plans and they all nod here heads but continue to dance. They were drinking too. I remember I left the room to find somewhere quite to sit down and clear my head.
It's was not that I was against drinking but I was very aware when ever alcohol was involved. My father at home was a drinker and I knew all too well what could happen to a person when they had had too much to drink. My whole life was a tribute to the consequences of alcohol.
After wondering the halls and hearing the music slowly fade away I found an empty room and walked in, closing the door behind me. Damn these stupid shoes. I pulled them off of my feet and threw them across the room hearing the thud as they fell against the wall. It was a stupid idea to get dressed in the way that I did. I wore a long sleeved dark blue dress that fitted nicely to my body and stopped just above my knees and underneath I had on dark tights much to my displeasure but a necessity never the less. To this day that dress has sat in the back of my closet. But I doubt I would fit into it now.
I stared out of the window at the night sky in appreciation. I never usually had the opportunity to gaze at the stars so I made note of the ethereal beauty. Then I heard the door open and close. "This room is being used." I say behind me to the unwelcome guest as a bright light drew my attention and caused me to spin around. I saw who the mystery man was. It was none other than Sesshomaru Taisho. To be honest I had had a crush on this man for a very long time when I was younger however I knew even then the difference between the two of us and that it would never happen so I kept my secret close to my chest.
He walked over to me and I smelt the alcohol on his breath. I freeze he was the silent drinker in the corner of the room. Memories of my father's drunken rages flooded my mind and I found it hard to bring my mind back to the present.
Sesshomaru slowly stalked closer and closer closing the distance between us in a few paces. He wrapped his arm and drew me closed to his body feeling hard muscle against soft skin and he captured my lips in a frenzied exchange. I could feel my heart hammering in my head as the smell of alcohol overpowered my senses. My body closed off to the events around me as in my mind I shuddered under the force of my father leaning down on me. His breath so close to my face that I couldn't breathe for the repulsion and the fear flooding through my body kept me compliant.
He pulled me towards the bed in the middle of the room and pushed me down onto the covers. I could feel his weight pressing down as my mind's eye felt my father's boot met my flesh with the force to shatter bones. It was once again that my father's memory affected my sanity and caused me distress. My mind couldn't clear as I crumbled inward against my father's wrath. What could a human girl do against the advances of a male demon?
But then the sensation of water hitting my cheeks drew me from within the depths of my mind to the present. I looked up at Sesshomaru above me, clothes discarded onto the floor below, body sheeted with a thin sheen of sweat and tears flowing freely down the face of the demon. Despite the sensation of him buried still deep within me and despite the knowledge of what had happened I reached up and threw my arms around his shaking shoulders. He leaned into the embrace, laid his head onto by naked chest and wept. We stayed like that for hours with him holding on to me and me onto him as if I were his only lifeline. He eventually drifted off to sleep, exhaustion setting in, and I stroked his long silver hair to comfort him in his dreams.
The next morning he was gone and I found myself alone in the room. I decided to gather myself together and confront him on his actions that night and the worries that fuelled his drinking. I had a whole string of accusations to throw at him when I left the room to search for him. But I wanted to wait and hear his story despite his actions, I knew he was in pain and I wanted to listen. I rounded the corner with questions on the tip of my tongue but then I caught the sight of his appearance and all words left my mind. He looked so dishevelled and broken that I didn't know what to do. I guessed that he was truly sorry for what had happened and I was contemplating on forgiving him.
I walked over to him and crouched down to look at him slumped against the wall. He was a mess. I handed him some pain killers and a glass of water. I would help him cure his hangover so that he would be conscious when I gave him a verbal bashing. "Thanks Kagome." He said taking the pills. "How was the party last night? Sorry I didn't get to speak with you." With that I crumble. Any anger I had at the man was gone and I was filled with a sense of hurt and betrayal. I could feel my eyes start to water as I turned to leave the room. By the time I left I was running down the hall and the tears were streaming down my face. I would never see that ungrateful, selfish, coward of a man ever again.
Five years past and I abandoned my hatred for that man the only thing left that I felt for him was pity. A lot had changed since then and I was now an independent woman with my own small apartment and a job. My home was a small two bedroom apartment but it was mine and I could call it home. I had recently found a new job working as a designer in a big company and I couldn't believe it. I loved the work, my colleagues and the variety of work that came with the job.
"Are you done with those shirts yet?" Suzanna called from the main room. "I have to show the new designs to the boss to get them approved before we can get them produced." I hadn't met the boss as I had only had the job for a week. The first week I was working with Suzanna to create a new range of children's clothing with bright patterns and colourful prints for summer. Next week I had been asked to go down to the wood work area of the company to do some scroll work onto the wooden instruments that were custom made. "I'm here." I said as I rounded the corner carrying armfuls of my newly designed shirts. "Where do you want them?" I asked as I walked through the door, careful not to trip over. "Put them on the desk, the boss will be here any minute." I walked over to the table but I stop before I could lay them on the table as something catches my eye. The boss opens the door and I drop the contents of my arms onto the floor. My eyes fill with dread as my heart sinks. "Sesshomaru."
Thank you for reading and please comment to let me know what you think.
Katie