Ch. 1- My Last and Final Goodbye

I Loved YOU Once

You Loved ME Not

I Loved YOU Twice, But I 4got

You Never Loved Me

You Never Will

But Even So

I LOVE YOU Still

Damon POV

I thought about what I was doing for a second and decided that I just couldn't take it anymore. My earlier thought was correct I had no reason to stay. I had made a promise to leave after she chooses who she wanted. She chose Stefan so why was I still lingering around waiting for a different outcome. She remembers everything I made her forget and she still chose Stefan. I had no way in winning this at all so why should I bother to watch the happy couple anymore.

4get the Time She Walked By

4get the Times She Made You Cry

4get the Times She Spoke Your Name

Remember Your Feelings Went the Same

4get the Times She Held Your Hands

4get the Sweet Things If You Can

4get Those Times, Don't Pretend

Remember Know She's Just a Friend

I went to my closet and removed my duffel bag for second time that night and replaced all of the belongings I just took out not to long ago. I zipped up the bag as I remembered how I got to this point in my life. I grabbed my journal from the drawer, I haven't written in it since I turned but somehow it felt right to do it now. For me to start a new chapter in my life I had to close this one and this was the only way I knew how.

I Wish I Had the Guts to Walk Away

4get Bout What We Had

But I Can't Cuz I Know You Want Come After Me

I Guess that's What Hurts The Most

You've Always Loved Him and

Now I Can See That the One in Your Heart

Was NEVER Me

Dear Journal,

I had become the love sick puppy I always hated just to get rejected by the one girl who made me this way. The girl who chose my brother, Saint Stefan, can't really explain why this is such a surprise to me. All the girls I love have a tendency of proclaiming their undying love for my brother. I mean I did not really love Katherine the same as Elena but I loved her enough to pine after her for 146 years and what does Stefan do, say that he never loved her and forgot about her. Then I finally actually find someone I truly love, Elena, all she do is through it back in my face every chance she get and then profess her love for Stefan. While Stefan runs off and kill up half the east coast, come back bits her, attempt to drive her off Wickery Bridge, the same bridge her parents died on might I add, and she still looks as if he can do no wrong. So what's that ten points for Saint Stefan, and none for me? I mean how I could possibly believe someone would choose me for change. I was always the one everyone rejected. My mother was the only one who had accepted me but when she died my life with to hell. Even my father saw Stefan as the better candidate and I was just the screw up who looked like his late wife. So why would think anyone else would think twice about choosing me over my no good brother. I have to get out of this place; I can no longer watch them together. She will get through this transition because she has Saint Stefan's support so she has no need for mind. Look at me I have turned back into the 1864 Damon Salvatore who wrote down his feeling like a girl. I loved her enough to become my worst nightmare and I guess it wasn't enough because even this Damon still doesn't get the girl. So I am leaving town and starting new somewhere far from here. I might just go to my villa in Chianti, Tuscanyfor a few years or travel the world who knows, just as long as I get away from here, from her because if I stay I might do something I will regret. Don't worry no one will find me; you are the only one to know about these places except for me of course. And I will not go and kill myself but it did sound interesting since that might be better than dying from a broken heart. I was just going to turn it all off. So this might be the last time I write sine I want be coming back, I think it would be easier that way. I want have to see her happy with my brother like I did the last 3 years and plus I hold up my end of the deal to Stefan to leave once she chose and she chose him so I guess it is about time I leave and not walk around them with my heart on my sleeve. As long as she is happy I am happy. Sad thing is I can't help but still love her even after everything that has happen. I always thought I would never love again after Katherine but I was wrong, I can never love again after Elena. The love I had for Katherine is like a puddle compared to the ocean of love I have for Elena. And she once said it was a problem, and I believe she is right because now that I know what it is like to love I will die eternally because I will never know how it feels to be love back with same intensity. WHAT IS THE WORLD COME TO I AM MY FUCKING WORST NIGHTMARE, JUST KILL ME NOW AND PUT ME OUT OF MY PAIN. The town can rest easy now since their biggest threat is leaving town, it's not like anyone wanted me here anyway. The Big Bad Damon is checking out. So I guess I will go now.

Love sucks,

Damon William Salvatore

All the Times You Held Me Close

It Was Him You Need and Loved the Most

It's Hard for Me to Swallow My Pride

Knowing That My Love Was the Love You Denied

I sat my journal on the nightstand next to my bed and grabbed my bag. I looked around the room one last time as in to say goodbye to the memories I once shared in here. I smirk at all the conquest I had, frown at the memory of me forcing blood down Elena's throat, and smile at the way she held me when I was dying from the werewolf bit. I had so many memories in this room just leave them all behind.

I walked out of my room and headed for my car. I had to make one more stop to actually leave this place for good, the one stop that would make me or break me in this deal all together. I just had to see her one last time, kiss her, and hold her one last time though she was not mines to do none of these things to. I parked a block from her house so she would not hear me approach. I went through her window to find her tuck under her covers fast asleep. I laugh because even as a vampire she still can sleep through a tidal wave. I place the letter beside her bed on her nightstand and kiss her lips before saying "Goodbye Elena, I Love You and I wish did not have to leave but I do. Be happy." I kissed her one last time before I disappeared out the window before my presence was known.

My Love for You is Stronger Than Ever

But I Know in My Heart We'll Never Be Together

I'm Going to Smile Like NOTHINGS WRONG

Talk Like Everything's PERFECT

Act Like It's Just a DREAM

And Pretend She's NOT HURTING ME

Once I made it to the 'You're Leaving Mystic Falls' sign I pulled over and sat there thinking about all the sweet memories I am leaving behind. I smile as the sound of her laugh grace ears, the way her cheeks goes red when she's embarrassed. A single tear rolls down my face as I realize all I have left are memories now and I know I can never return and that actually sucks somehow. I never thought I would miss this God forsaken town but I guess it grew on me, she grew me. I got back in the car drove to the storage unit and dropped my car off. Then went to the nearest airport where I got on a plane to my private home in Chianti, Tuscany. Starting over is always fun, I just hope I get to enjoy that fun.

So I'm Letting You Go NOW

With Tears in My Eyes and My Last and Final

GOODBYE….