Title: An Old Man's Meandering
Author: Brigantia
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: HP/SS
Disclaimer: All recognisable characters belong to J K Rowling (and not me).
Feedback: brigantias_fire[at]yahoo.com
Beta: The incomparable Arainrhod, the Fastest Beta in the West, who found eleven words. You legend.
Author's Note: Written for the third wave of the Harry Potter/Severus Snape Dusk-Till-Dawn FQF at , as an answer to the 1000 word challenge, and the following: 84. Harry and Snape are caught having sex, while Harry is still a student. What happens? (Kira) AND 112. Snape and Harry through someone else's eyes. (Kira). Normally I end up writing TOO much, but I really had to push for 1000 words here, dammit. This is quite a bit fluffier than my usual stuff, but I hope it's up to scratch nonetheless.
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"Ah, there you are. Take a seat, my dear, would you like some tea? Or a lemon drop? No? Well then, I've called you here to explain the situation, as I'm sure you've realised. You've heard the rumours, of course. There isn't any need to worry, everything's under control. If you'll just indulge an old man's meandering for a few minutes, you'll soon understand.
I've made a lot of misjudgements in my time, you see. Oh, don't look at me like that; you know it's true. I've made mistakes, I've miscalculated, I've meddled where I shouldn't have – and not meddled when I should have. It has always been with the very best of intentions, but you know what they say about those. I have tried to rectify my errors as best I can, but I have learned the hard way that I cannot always undo what I've done, no matter how much I wish it.
He is a good man, you know. He goes well out of his way to show otherwise, of course, and he has perfectly good reasons, but I know he's a decent man, under that prickly exterior. He's brilliant, talented and eternally misunderstood. No social skill at all, but no one's perfect. He's been through so many trials for so long – hardship I could have helped him avoid, had I known how things would turn out. He has made some terrible choices, and I know I cannot control all aspects of his life - although I know he longs to accuse me of attempting just that - but if I had made better choices, paid better attention, taken care of him like I should have… he may not have made those choices to begin with. And by the time I finally took him under my wing – years too late – the damage was done, and all I could do was apologise and hope that I could atone for my failings.
Now now, I know what you're going to say. I didn't make him the man he is today all on my own, but I could have – I should have – alleviated his suffering, stepped in instead of holding back. No one can survive under so many masks for so long. No one should have to, and I certainly haven't been of any assistance. I knew exactly what leading this kind of double life would do to him – he's quite fragile, despite appearances to the contrary – and don't let him hear me saying that, heaven forbid… and yet, I have continued to push him. I know it's necessary in some respects – the Order needs him, after all. But what he needs is someone who will accept him at face value, someone who won't demand more from him than he's willing to give of his own accord.
And then there's the boy, of course. He's such a lovely, affable young man; he doesn't deserve this pressure, this relentless scrutiny. He's been just as isolated, although not in the same way. I judged him for the wrong reasons, at first – his mother's eyes, his father's hair, his mother's gentleness and his father's reckless bravery. But I've watched him grow into a mature and capable young man in his own right, and I couldn't be more proud, or relieved.
I could have done things so very differently with him, too. I could have explained everything sooner. I could have prepared him better. I certainly should not have pushed him into maturity so soon – Merlin knows he didn't have much of a childhood to start with, which is another thing I could have prevented. He has his friends to lend their support, of course, but he will always be alone in the crowd, and he knows that. He needs someone who can reach him, someone who can understand where others cannot.
I had suspected before, of course. They have both been very discreet, but age has taught me the skill of observation, if nothing else. I had seen them glancing at each other while the other wasn't looking; I saw when the glances turned to stares. I noticed when their eyes caught and held. And when Ms Granger and Mr Weasley came to me to complain about the inordinate amount of detentions being given to their friend - for increasingly ridiculous reasons - I knew my suspicions had foundation.
And I didn't set this up at all! I must admit, if I had played a part in this tale I would likely have chosen different people for them both – closer to their own ages, perhaps, people with common interests – ah, you didn't think I'd thought of that, did you? No, it's all right, I understand. It's certainly unexpected, my dear, but things will work out for the best, I assure you.
It's not the most ideal situation, I must admit. There are legalities, the Ministry, and our enchanting Board of Governors, which I'm sure you're thinking of – you always are so much more practical than I – but I believe this is more important. They're much happier now, more at peace. Oh, it's not obvious to anyone who isn't watching properly, but I look after them both, in my own way. After all, I may not be able to correct my errors, but I can step aside when I need to.
Which is why, when I spotted Severus and Harry having sex on the floor of Severus' office, I simply turned and walked away. They didn't even notice I was there. Rather sweet, really."
Albus twinkled cheerily, and took a sip of his cooling tea.
"You look a little shocked, my dear Minerva. I am doing the right thing this time, I'm sure of it. Why, I've already started a counter-rumour! I'm blaming some nameless recalcitrant Hufflepuffs. All this will blow over in a few days. I mean really, who would truly believe it? Their animosity is legend, after all. Now, dear, don't look so worried. Are you sure you wouldn't like some tea?"
-fin-