2/28/13 I've decided to go back and make a few corrections with grammar as well as things I didn't like. Everything's pretty much the same if you had read the original.
I might decide to do the 2nd and 3rd chapter, but no promises.
Just because I went through this again, doesn't mean there won't still be mistakes :)
~Honey Beeze
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
When she was young, he was too much.
That blue eyed, cocky, wolf was over bearing, and too late. She had loved someone else, so engrained into her heart, that she felt nothing could remove it.
Of course, she was later proved wrong and now it was ripped open, oozing blood with each movement. Every twitch, every blink, every whisper, she could feel the blood pumping out of that hole that the half demon left. But it doesn't matter anymore, because she could barely feel the leaking blood. It had been a long time ago, and the feeling bad dulled.
"Kagome," The young women turned with a smile to the women behind her. Kagome's eyes fell to the swollen belly the women held.
"Your due any day, Sango," Sango smiled before rubbing her stomach.
"Yes, hopefully our last for a while," Kagome nodded before turning back. She had always loved how beautiful this time period was. How natural it all was.
How wrong it was for her to be there and enjoy it.
Why was she here? She asked Sango. But the ex- demon slayer didn't answer, mostly because she couldn't. In fact why was she there in the first place? If the God's had decided she belonged there, why wasn't 't Kikyo, or herself, reborn then? Its because there was no fate in life.
The God's didn't care if the world was ruled by evil or if one sad girl felt the need for a place in the world.
"I think I'm going to go for a walk."
"But, Kagome, it's almost night. . ." Sango said.
"I'll be fine. You worry too much" Kagome smiled, waving over her shoulder. She was no longer that young girl that fell into the well.
The well.
She approached it, placing her hands on her soften, worn wood sat silently as though waiting for her to make a move. She hadn't tried the well in years. She hadn't seen her family in years; her brother would be grown, her mother old, her grandfather most likely dead. When she first decided to never return, she thought she would started a family to replace them with here.
"Kagome?" She removed her hands from the well and spun, spotting a blue eyed demon. A demon who hasn't changed since the Naraku was killed. A demon she hadn't seen since then. She figured he had mated and moved on; she had.
"Kouga!" She smiled before he shot at her, clutching her in his sun kissed arms. Before he retracted himself quickly, as though she burned him. She could see his nostrils flaring as his grin faltered.
"So you mated with the mutt." She felt it then, the sluggish oozing of the blood. She smiled but it felt forced.
"Yeah, a while back." He frowned before huffing. He didn't say anything else, only crossing his leg and sitting.
"I guess I shouldn't have left after Naraku." She smiled, knowing it didn't matter if he been around or not.
"I could have properly courted you." She sat down herself, already enjoying Kouga's company. It was unlike everyone in the village.
The looks of pity at the childless women. The looks of pity for the lonely priestess who would live, knowing her friends would die. The looks of pity for the lonely, abandoned, wife of a ungrateful demon. Yet he knew none of it.
It was liberating.
"So how does a demon court?" She asked. He scoffed.
"What the mutt not court you?" She winced, her lips still curved in a smile.
"Not exactly." Her courting went along the line of Naraku being dead, they completed the Shikon jewel and it was expected they married. Not that she didn't want to, so they did. Of course Inuyasha was brash and rude at times, but she still loved him. Even when things started to change, she still loved him. Kouga laid back, his arms crossed behind his head.
"Well, the male finds a mate who is fit. For pups, you know? Then after finding one that suits what he wants, he leaves gifts. Stuff that she'll know he'll take care of her. Then if she accepts, the fun begins." She laid herself down next to Kouga, her head turned towards him. He looked over at her, his lips still in that cocky smile. When she was younger, she hated that smile. That overly arrogant smile. Like he was the god's gift to the world.
Now, not so much.
"Then they spend time together, clean each other, sleep together," He stopped, his smile slowly disappearing.
"Then he gives a gift to the family, and approval."
"And then?" She whispered, her soft voice barely making a sound. She hated hearing all this, and yet loved it all. She wished Inuyasha had courted her now. Shown her how much she meant to him. She figured all the saving her life did, but really, he wasn't saving her now.
"Then they mate, hopefully creating pups by the first time." She blushed at his words, even if she was no longer a virgin. He was still smiling at her, well more like leering.
She knew he wanted to ask. Wanted to know why Inuyasha's smell was faint, why she had no children, why she was out late at night without Inuyasha yelling after her. She just smiled, not answering. Her eye lids felt heavy as her breath deepened.
"Don't fall asleep, Kagome." He whispered besides her, turning towards her. She cracked a smile, looking over to him.
"Then help me stay awake."
"How about a story then?" He said. She nodded.
"There once was a man," Her eyes had already shut.
"That loved a women that did not love him." He whispered.
Kagome smiled, even if her back ached. She felt more relaxed, a little less burdened. Even if she had slept outside all night, and could have easily been attacked. But she wasn't and she knew it was because of Kouga. She could still feel the warmth from where he laid when she woke up, even if he was gone. She itched at her arm, knowing there was grass imprints.
"Where were you last night, Kagome?" Kagome laughed, scratching the back of her neck.
"I kind of fell asleep by the well." Sango frowned before scolding her. Even if it made Sango happy. It was the first in a while Kagome actually did anything. Sure, she gathered herbs, she healed wounded people, she played with her oldest daughter. But she didn't do anything out of the normal. Kagome had once said she felt stuck, not moving forward anymore. No longer having the excitement that thrilled her with her adventures. When Sango expressed worry, Kagome brushed it off, saying it was nothing serious. That she just over-thought things.
The day passed quickly for Kagome, as she went along, doing her normal chores in her own home. Then finally the sun was setting, causing everyone to slowly make their ways home. Kagome, though, left her home.
"Kagome? Why don't you come over for dinner," Sango asked, making Kagome cringe. It wasn't exactly fun watching Sango and Miroku living out their happy lives with their growing family.
"Actually, I thought I'd go for a walk." She turned before seeing Sango's frown, heading for the well.
"How did I know you were going to be here?" Kagome asked with a smile at the wolf demon. He only shrugged with a smirk.
"You fell asleep before the end of my story." She smiled before sitting down, making herself comfortable besides Kouga.
"Ok, you said he was unnoticed by her and she walked past him everyday,"
"Yes. She was a beautiful princess who past by his humble shop everyday. Yet she never looked inside. Until one day, he made a plan. A plan she wouldn't be able to ignore. Even if she was already betrothed,"
"Betrothed?" She stifled a yawn with her hand. Her eyes flickering close. The long day was catching up to her.
"Yes, for she loved a prince in a different land. He was an ignorant man, yet she still loved him." She thought of Inuyasha.
"So what did he do?"
"He simply held a mirror to the sun, causing her to glance at such a bright object. But this was no ordinary mirror. It was a mirror that held the future." Her eyes had closed though, his story going unheard. He leaned over, brushing the hair from her eyes.
Then he sat and waited for the sun to come up, just as the man did when he found the mirror.
"Kagome," Kagome turned, finding Miroku standing behind her, his eyes set. She knew that look.
The look that he planned to have a deep conversation.
"What is it, Miroku?" Her smile was growing, making him hesitate. He smiled back before shaking his head.
"Sometimes, the past seems to haunt us. Sometimes I wake up, thinking the black hole is still there. I don't ever think that feeling will go away. But its gone, and I have moved on." She heard the ghost in his words, but shook her head.
"He'll come back." Kagome was patient. She could wait if she had to for Inuyasha. She had to wait until Inuyasha finally made up his mind, finally destroy Naraku. She could wait a little longer, especially if she had the end of time.
"And if he doesn't?" She turned away, looking at the setting sun.
"I think I'm gonna go for a walk."
"Kagome!" He called out for her, but she was already walking away, not even glancing back.
Five years.
Its been five years since he left. And Miroku really didn't think Kagome never thought that same thing? She was fully aware he was most likely not coming back for her.
She stared running. Her breath was short and she was gasping when she finally made it to the well. There stood Kouga, his face painted with worry.
"Kagome?"
"The story," She gasped, her hands leaning on her knees.
"How does it end?" She looks up pleading for the end.
"She looks into the mirror and see's her life with the men. The prince would leave her with riches but unfaithful. While the other would give her his whole being and she would be happy, but poor." She glances up, blinking rapidly.
"Which does she choose?"
"The prince," She started to cried.
"He left me," She whispered. He helped her sit as she shook in his arms.
"He left me after a year of marriage," He looked at her confused. She rubbed at her eyes as she shook her head.
"Mating. Then he became distant. Restless. He would fidget and then one day he left. He came back a day later. Then he left again and came back a week later. Said he needed to get away. I understood, I really did. Although I knew it would go away with time. Then one day, he was staring south. Said he thought he sensed a demon before running off. He didn't come back." Kagome was no longer crying. The hole was scabbing but she still felt blood leaking.
"Why didn't you mate, Kouga?" She whispered, leaning into him. She was exhausted, to the pointed that she felt light-headed.
"Because I love you," It was silent as he finally asked.
"May I court you?" He whispered.
"I don't love you." She didn't know if she would want to love someone.
"That's ok."
"I might never."
"I know."
"Ok."
When Kagome woke up the next day, it was because of something tickling her nose. She twitched and huffed until finally brushing it away, only to realize she was buried. She lifted herself, only to realize she was buried in pale yellow flowers. It was then when she realized what she said last night to Kouga.
But she didn't regret it.
She lifted a handful of flowers before walking back to the village. She had not realized it when she married Inuyasha, no matter how much she loved him, he didn't change. He was still the ill-tempered, rude, Inuyasha.
Marriage didn't change him. He didn't make her laugh, he didn't surprise her, he was still the moody man before Naraku. She should have known better than to think he would.
Would Kouga stay the same? More importantly, was she ok if he never changed? But he had changed since the five year gap. He was different; more mature. She only hoped he wouldn't become restless and bored like Inuyasha.
"What are those Kagome?" Sango asked, glancing over the priestess's shoulder. Her nose was buried in the yellow petals, eyes shut.
"Oh, just you know." Sango's eyes brow quirked but she only smiled.
"Did you pick those this morning?" There was a silence as Kagome's cheeks burned. She only turned and walked to her home.
Days, then weeks past of the usual. The summer had made it warm enough for her to sleep outside, so some nights during the week she would go and listen to Kouga as he told stories. Each morning he was gone, leaving a gift. One morning it was flowers, another a dead boar (something she did not like), another was animal skins, another a basket of berries. It was never ending and she enjoyed them.
Sango had given up asking as well as the village.
"Kagome?" Sango came behind Kagome, her fingers twisting the petals of her newest flower. She turned, her wide smile never wavering.
"You seem different." She tilted her head before softly laughing.
"Really? I guess. Its been a long time, hasn't it."
"Since what?" Sango knew, but had to ask, because Kagome wanted to tell.
"You know, Naraku's death. Shippo dying. Inuyasha leaving. How long has it been? 5 years?"
"Yeah." Sango agreed hesitantly. Kagome sighed.
"He's not coming back." Kagome didn't need an answer to know. She placed the basket down at her doorstep before turning back to Sango. The sun was high in the sky, heat beating down on the two.
"I think I'm going to on for a walk." She was tired. Tired of being reminded what she lost every single day. Being reminded she was childless, the love of her life left her, she abandoned her family for a young girl's delusional hopes.
She was tired of being sad.
She wanted to be happy again.
So she walked past the swollen Sango, making her way towards the well. It was the first time during the day that she approached it, memories filling her to the brim. Memories of leaping down, falling, being pushed down. All involving Inuyasha.
Yet the pain was bare able, not like the first month. The month where Sango found herself pregnant with their first child.
"Kagome."
"I didn't think you would here till later." Kagome said, her head turning towards the wolf demon. He stood, his smug smile planted in place.
"I'm always here. I'm waiting." She frowned, her eye brows furrowing.
"Shouldn't you be with your pack?" She had been wondering that for a while. How he could be here, waiting whenever she decided to come out.
"Yes." He stated honestly.
"Then why are you here?"
"Because I only want you as a mate." She felt pity build inside of her as she stared at the man. The smug smile was gone as she felt his gaze.
He wasn't lying. He never had with her.
"Kouga, I'm tired."
"Then let's go away for a bit."
Maybe she didn't love Inuyasha anymore. Yes, she loved him. But not in love like she was when he first left. That foolish young girls love that sent her flying and crashing to the ground. Now, she felt bitter, she felt abandoned. But most of all, tired.
The air left her as he lifted her, tossing her over his shoulder. Her eyes bulged.
"Kouga?!" He laughed before smacking her bottom.
"Don't worry, I won't drop you." She huffed as he spun off, leaving behind the protection she build around her self.
"Miroku, I can't find Kagome," Sango called to her husband, causing him to turn with a frown.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I haven't seen her since yesterday. And I'm worried. She said she was going for a walk but I didn't see her come back." His lips pulled up into a wry smile, remember the last few days he saw Kagome. She was quiet, withdrawn with a smile. Like she had a dirty secret.
"She's a grown women, she'll come back when she wants to."
Reviews are appreciated and helpful tips loved :)