Cassandra had a lot of adventures in her life with man hard choices but the only thing she regretted was letting Maxwell Trevelyan go.

He promised they would marry soon but she was getting cold feet. She loved him. Yes more then any one else, save her brother Anthony. She was having her doubts about the future she would have with the newly appointed Free Marcher Bann.

Being a true noble meant parties and dresses and constantly smiling at other nobles despite the fact that they were saying the most moronic things she could ever comprehend.

'I will leave and rebuild the Seekers of Truth.' she thought to herself. It'll be as easy as ripping off a bandage. One that was rather bloody and glued to the still painful wound.

She packed quietly telling no one where she was going but Leliana and the night before she would leave she made one last visit to Maxwells chambers.

"I have to go" she whispered in his ear.

His big blue grey eyes opened slowly and he rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times before looking up at her and asking in his sleepy voice," Where are you going?"

"The Hunterhorn Mountains"

"Why?'

"I have a duty to the Seekers. We need to rebuild."

"But I need you." He pleaded grabbing her wrist.

"You are a powerful young Lord, an Inquisitor. You do not need me." She said trying to hide the wavering of her voice.

"We were to be married."

"I can't be your wife" she voice cracked as she started to lose her composure. "I am too old to have your children and I refuse to humour Orlesian Comtes and wear frilly dresses."

"We don't need to have children. I have nieces and nephews they can be my heirs. You can wear nothing but a potato sack. I don't care I just want to be with you."

"I must go the Seekers need me" She said turning to leave the chambers.

"Wait!" he almost shouted. "Spend one last night with me at least." His eyes were hurt.

Cassandra sighed. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. She turned around and began untying the straps of her armour. He slid off his underclothes as she stripped off the last remaining garments. His erection bounced.

Cassandra slid onto the bed and began kissing his neck. He trapped her lips in a deep kiss and grabbed her wrist and she flipped onto her back. She moaned as his one remaining hand wandered up her body stopping at her breast. He fondled it lightly and he broke the kiss taking her nipple his mouth rolling his tongue around the tip. She moaned quietly as he released her from his mouth and thrust himself inside her with one swift movement. He thrusted slowly at first but increasing in speed as she bucked her hips to meet his. Her nails dug into his back and she reached her climax. She called out as he made one last thrust spilling his seed inside her.

They laid in each others arms, panting, skin drenched in sweat, silently. After a few moments Maxwell leaned in and whispered "I love you." In her ear lips brushing her lightly making her shiver.

He wished he would wake up the next day to find her still cuddled into him but when sun broke the next morning he awoke to a cold empty bed.

Maxwell left Skyhold after a month of finalizing the Inquisitions disbandment. He returned to Ostwick to an excited mother waiting to marry him off to a sweet young Free Marcher noblewoman.

He was introduced to Mina. Sweet, blonde, no older then twenty with a very annoying laugh that he could only respond to with false laughter. They walked in the garden arm in arm as she recited the name of every flower from memory. 'I bet she has never held a sword in her life' he thought thinking only of his lost love.

Cassandra received a letter from Varric telling her of Maxwells rather speedy engagement. Her heart dropped. She crumpled up the letter she has attempted to write half a hundred times and threw yet another one into the fire.

She had taken up with a group of potential Seeker recruits in a small keep in the mountains. Only Leliana and apparently Varric knew where she was. Training was going well with the recruits until something started happening. She felt nauseous and light headed, which was not a good thing when your trying to demonstrate how to properly thrust a shield.

When her first cycle was late she thought nothing of it. It had happened before, not a big deal. But the second and then the third had her greatly concerned. Her body refused to bleed she insisted until one night she lay in her night clothes in her cold bedroom when she felt a stirring within her.

'No this can't be true.' she thought to herself. She wanted to cry or to kick herself in the ass. How could she have been so stupid.

She was twelve years older the Maxwell. He, twenty seven. She had just turned thirty nine. He was young and fruitful. She was old well beyond her child bearing years she knew this, but here she was.

Maxwell I never thought it would be possible but I am carrying your child.

Not long after she received another letter from Varric informing her that Maxwell had gotten married.

She threw another note in the fire. He could never marry her now even if she wanted to.

A few months later Cassandra received an unexpected visit.

She was at her desk scribbling down notes about her recruits when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in" she said not looking up

"Its nice to see you again Cassandra." Leliana said from the entrance of her study. Cassandra remained seated.

"No greeting?"Cassandra sighed and stood up.

"You... Your pregnant?!" Leliana sputtered in surprise.

"The recruits know but no one else. This remains here am I understood?"

"Yes, but does the Inquisitor know."

Cassandra sat back down and hung her head in her hands

"No and he will not know, understood."

"I am very good at keeping secrets"

"The recruits don't know who the father is our relationship was not a complete secret but to those outside the Inquisition it is not common knowledge."

"Do you have someone to... care for you when the time comes?'

"I have arranged something with the Mother of a nearby chantry."

Leliana left after a few days of fussing and fawning over Cassandra and the remaining months ticked by slowly.

She awoke one winter morning pain racking her body. She sent for the Mother and that afternoon after several ours of labour wails of a pair of healthy baby lungs broke the silence of Cassandras cold dreary quarter.

"It is a girl Lady Seeker."

Cassandra reached out her arms to receive her new tiny daughter. She held her close in her arms as she lay back on her pillows completely spent. She wasn't cute her face was red and wrinkly with black eyes and tiny nose and a mop of black hair.

Cassandra waited for the Mother to leave the room to get water before she let a single tear run down her cheek. Her she was the child she never thought she would have.

When the Mother returned she asked "What shall you name her?"

"I think I will name her Lyra. Lyra Pentaghast. Seventy-ninth in line for the Nevarrian throne."

Lyra grew so quickly before Cassandras eyes from the wrinkly infant to the year old toddler crawling across the nursery floor with her big hazel eyes to being three and absolutely adoring all the keeps cats many kittens.

When she was three Cassandra received an unexpected letter. From Maxwell.

Lady Seeker Pentaghast,

I will be arriving in two weeks for a brief diplomatic meeting.

Bann Maxwell Trevelyan

"Varric" she spat furiously

Varric had sent her a letter a few months ago saying Maxwell had had a son with his wife.

I wonder if he is feeling guilty.

When Maxwell arrived he was greeting by a familiar looking dark haired little girl with a tiny grey kitten in her arms.

"Hello M'lord" she said in her sweet little voice.

"where is the Lady Seeker?"

"She is in her study I can show you."Maxwell smiled and followed the little girl and her kitten. She burst into Cassandras study.

"Mama there's a man looking to see you."

Cassandra looked up from her desk into Maxwells shocked face.

"Thank you little one give us some privacy." she said shooing the little girl away with her hand.

"Mama?" Maxwell said still looking rather shocked.

"She is my daughter."

"I... I didn't think you could..."

"Neither did I." He grabbed her hand

"Why didn't you tell me?" there was hurt in his voice.

"You were married by the time I worked up the courage to tell you."

"I would've came regardless. She is my daughter too. I should have the right to know she exists." he said starting to get heated.

"Well you do now." she said harshly.

There was a long pause.

"Come to Ostwick with me." he said.

"I am not going to be your concubine" she scoffed.

"It's the only way I know I will be in...her life."

"Her name is Lyra. Lyra Pentaghast."

"She should be a Trevelyan."

"Well she isn't"

Cassandra face felt hot and out of the blue Maxwell kissed her.

She grabbed his neck and kissed him harder.

"I love you." he whispered. He racked his hand up her body reaching in under her armour.

"Stop we could be seen." she sputtered.

Maxwell let go ran to the door and bolted it.

"No one has to know."

They worked their way out of their clothes and Maxwell sat back in the stuffed chair erection reaching towards the ceiling in excitement. Cassandra straddled him sliding down his length eliciting a moan from his lips. She nipped his neck as she ground her hips against his making him hiss. He grabbed her hips and began thrusting furiously until he grunted and finished inside her.

They dressed in silence and Cassandra sat across his lap resting her head on his shoulder.

"There is no one I will ever love more then you." Maxwell said quietly in her ear."

"What about your wife do you love her?"

"No, its a purely political marriage."

"She gave you a son. Your heir"

"You gave me a daughter my first born nothing will compare to that." He cleared his throat." Maybe I could stay here."

"No you mustn't."

"Why not?"

"It is suspicious enough you visiting me out of the blue there was no reason for you to come besides visiting your wartime companion."

"But.."

"This can never happen again." She held his face and kissed him deeply "You should go now."

He stood and left the room without looking back.

"Mama" Lyra said that night when Cassandra was tucking her into bed," Why didn't your friend stay?"

"He had to go home to his wife and baby"

"Oh"

Cassandra was mortified when her cycle was late again. No, not again. When did women in their forties suddenly become so fertile. This time would be different. She sat at her desk and wrote:

Dear Maxwell,

she scribbled it out and tore the top off the paper.

I am with child.

No name he would know who sent it.

Much to her surprise he didn't respond.

Her pregnancy passed uneventfully and after a day long labour another little dark haired girl entered the world.

"Cora" She said when the Mother asked her name. "Cora Pentaghast."

One night a time later when her two daughters were asleep in the tiny nursery she scribbled a note to Maxwell:

It was a girl.

Once again months passed without a response. She heard from Varric saying Maxwells wife had given birth to another son.

He must be occupied with his real family not his bastards and mistress in the mountains.

When Cora grew older she had her fathers big blue eyes and his sweet personality. Lyra was the very image of Cassandra in looks and personality. She started martial training when she turned twelve and much to Cassandras joy she was a talented archer.

Many years later, Cassandra was now in her fifties. Grey streaking her black hair. Wrinkles marred her once sharp face.

Her job and being a mother had aged her drastically.

Lyra was now fifteen and was starting to ask questions..

"Who is my father?" She said after bursting into Cassandras study, "You've lied to me all my life I want to know the truth."

"He is dead" Cassandra dismissed

"Then it shouldn't matter I just want to know his name. Or... "she said glaring "Do you even know who he is?"

Cassandra slapped Lyra across the face.

"Your father was one of the two loves I've had in my life."

Lyra was shocked she felt her cheek where her mother had hit her.

"You told me your first love died you were you being serious."

Cassandra sighed "No he was my second love"

"Who was it?"

"The Inquisitor Maxwell Trevelyan."

"Why did he leave you?"

"I left him."

"Why would you leave him if you were pregnant?"

"I left because I had a duty to the Chantry and to the Seekers and I didn't find out I was with child until after your father was betrothed to another woman."

"Does he know about me?"

"Yes he saw you once when you were only a toddler."

"I don't remember."

"It was brief and you were so small."

"Who" she braced herself expecting another slap "Is Cora's father?"

"Maxwell"

"How?"

"When he visited when you were a child."

"Does he know about her?"

"I sent him a note, he never responded."

"Arse."

"Lyra!"

"I do not have to respect some man who abandoned his children."

"He didn't abandon you."

"I have no memory of the man he's never seen Cora I consider that abandonment."

Cassandra raised her hand to slap her again but she sighed and dropped it to the table.

"I can write him and see if he'll come see you but I can't guarantee he will respond."

"I'll just go to the Free Marches myself."

"You will not!" Cassandra shouted.

But she did

"She disappeared in the night Lady Seeker" The young Seeker said sheepishly expecting an explosion.

"That little shit."

Well that's the first part the second part will be posted in a week or so.

Man I'm not very good at sex scenes there are virgin fourteen years old on here who are masters of smut -sigh- if you notice any grammatical or spelling errors let me know

thanks

DT