.A/N: Ok so I was listening in my Itouch to some songs. And when I reached two songs, this idea struck me like a flash of lightening lol. And I mean it. It will be a one-shot but it will have a sequel. It's also a songfic. So I hope you like them. Of course they are extra romance. I dunno what's wrong with me these days, but I'm too romantic these days lol. I really dunno why hahahaha. But I hope that makes my writing better. Hope you like it because surprisingly I do! Lol yay! Enjoy!

Never Again

EPOV

I was running. Really running. I seemed to be unable to stop myself. I was going back to Bella. I couldn't take it anymore. The pain was too much, I couldn't live one more minute without her. I miss her. I miss everything about her. Her chocolate eyes, her perfect warm smile, her thick brown hair, her warm touch on my cheek. I felt my chest more hallow as I remembered those beautiful but missing things that I loved.

Just a few more minutes and I'll see her again. But what if she moved on? My selfish part wished that she would be waiting for me. But my noble part hoped that I would find her happy with someone else. At least she would be happy. The thought cut me. What if she didn't want to see me? What if she hated me? I winced. I should have thought about that before letting my feelings take over me like that. I can't turn back now. Not when I'm so close to her. The closest I've been in months. I flinched. I used to have her in my arms and be so happy now I'm so happy because I'm a few miles close.

I decided to go to my house first. I needed to think things through. To know what will I do if she didn't want me anymore. I winced again. To see if I was really ready to see her. She could be happy with someone else and she could be in pain. So both will hurt. Was I ready for another pain?

I was almost at my house, I could see it. Ah, I missed it too. I was going to rush in but I stopped in track as I caught a scent of a human. Not any human. My human. Bella. I didn't realize that I would miss her scent. I filled my lungs with it and sighed with pleasure, it's been so long. But what was she doing here?

I felt my heart in my chest again as I heard…..I heard…..I heard her! Her voice. It was just as soft as I remembered it. Even softer.

"Thank you" She whispered. But there was something in her voice. A sad tone that stung me. Who was she talking to? I started walking slowly to my house. I just wanted to reach the window, I wouldn't go inside. Not until I was sure that she wouldn't resent me.

"No problem Bella, you are the best till now. When should I come back again?" I froze! It was a man's voice. Who was he? And why would she bring him in my house? But the most important question was: was she in love with him?

In an instance I was at the window of my living room. She wasn't there. I shifted from window to window till I found them. They were in the piano room. I relaxed once I saw the guy. He was a teenager, he was no younger than a thirty year old man. Bella stood in front of him with a weak smile. Holding out her hand for him. He shook it.

"I'm not sure, I'll call you like always, ok?" It wasn't her warm smile. It was just a smile to hide what she really felt. I knew her enough to notice that. She was thinner than before and paler. She looked more fragile than ever, I winced as I realized that I might be the cause of that.

"Ok, then" He hesitated then started talking again. I wanted to read his mind, to know who he is but I was afraid of what memories he might hold of Bella. "Can I ask you a question?" he asked quietly. Bella's eyes tightened and she gulped but nodded.

"When are you going to go back to Charlie? He misses you" The man said sadly.

What?! She left Charlie. Now I had to read his mind. What had happened? What made her leave him? Where is she living now? I let myself listen to his thoughts as he recalled what happened.

He was going to Bella's house as planned. He knocked on the door and Charlie opened for him. He looked so miserable.

"What's wrong?" the man asked. Charlie sighed.

"I don't think she's getting any better. I called Renee to take her with her. She's packing her bags now" Charlie said grimly.

"I'm sorry" The man whispered. But he was cut off by a loud, ear piercing scream. It was Bella. Charlie ran alarmed with the man right behind him. They reached her room. Bella was pressed against the wall, looking like a terrified but at the same time angry child.

"YOU CAN NOT MAKE ME LEAVE!" She screamed through her tears, "YOU THINK I WOULD LEAVE THIS PLACE? THE PLACE WHERE I MET HIM? WHERE MY LIFE BEGAN?" She was panting but she ignored it. I winced she was having a tantrum. She didn't want to leave because of me.

"Bella, honey calm down, please" Her mom pleaded looking scared.

"It's ok honey, if you don't want to leave. You can stay here as long as you want" Charlie promised softly. She stared at both of them for a while then when she realized they weren't lying to her she fell on the floor and started sobbing. Charlie and Renee ran to her sides and started stroking her gently.

"I……have to…… leave" She whispered standing up shakily. They all looked at her confused, "I'm not leaving forks, I'm just leaving the house" She clarified, closing the bad that they packed for her.

"What? Where are you going Bella?" Charlie asked alarmed.

"I can't forget him Charlie. I can't. I'm going to stay in the one place where his memory lingers in every corner, where is touch is on every inch" She admitted, carrying her bag.

"But Bella…" Renee began.

"I'm not saying it won't be painful, but it would be better than nothing at all" She whispered.

"Where are you going Bella?" The man asked. Bella looked at him and took a deep breath.

"What was his home"

My mouth fell open. She was living here? In this big house all alone? I was too stunned to feel any pain for what I've seen. I couldn't understand.

Bella sighed and stared at the large piano, "I don't know. I'm not ready to let him go" she whispered.

She still loved me? After all that she still did? My selfish part was flying but my other was trying to understand.

"Not ready? Or don't want to?" The man asked gently. Bella frowned but didn't answer. I didn't understand what that meant but the man clarified.

I knew she didn't want to. She will never be ready since she doesn't want to. I can see that she's not comfortable talking about that, I'd better change the subject.

"You know if he was here, he would have been very proud of you" He said gently. Bella winced

"If he was" she mumbled but a faint smile was on the corner of her lips.

A musical like him would have been amazed by how quickly Bella learned playing flawlessly on the piano.

Oh! He was her piano teacher. Wait! What teacher? Bella played now? And according to him she played flawlessly. I read in his mind that Bella asked him to teach her on my piano. If I could cry I would have right now.

"Thank you" She whispered.

"Just remember to practice. I got to go now. See you soon" and he walked out of the room.

Poor girl, but very sweet. I don't see why he left her. There's nothing in her to not love. If I had a daughter I would have wished her to be just like Bella. Sighs.

I gulped. So Bella hasn't moved on. She was, as I feared, in pain for four months now. And it was all my fault. I felt the pain, that I wasn't coherent enough to feel, creeping in on me.

Bella sighed and stared at the piano for a while. She slowly walked to the seat of the piano and sat. She lifted the wooden lid and ran her fingers on the keys gently. She sighed again and then started to play an unfamiliar tune.

My mouth fell open, the tune was so simple but so sweet. And the teacher was right, she was amazing. If I didn't know her I would have thought that she spent years learning. I felt so proud of her. How more amazing she became.

I thought she was just playing a tune but I was wrong as suddenly I heard her sweet gentle voice start to sing.

"I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again I pretend I'm OK but that's not what gets me"

I winced. Even though her voice was amazing and so was the tune but the lyrics were…………painful to hear.

"What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do"

I touched the glass of the window with my finger tips, trying to hard to fight back the sobs that were ripping from my chest. She was so hurt, so broken, and I was the one to blame. I don't think that there is anyone who could hate me more than I hate myself right now.

She continued singing, and I couldn't have imagine that there were more painful words to hear till she sang the next part.

"It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doing it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin up, gettin dressed, living with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken"

She reached a level were she had to force a smile? Was she that broken? I knew the answer of that. Yes. My knees were starting to shake. They couldn't carry me anymore. I fell on them, still touching the glass and watching her play. I gasped.

"Bella" I whispered when I saw a tear fall down her cheek. She turned her voice to a high note that amazingly didn't break even though she was crying.

"What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do"

She started to hum with the music. I closed my eyes hearing her soft humming and gentle playing.

"And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do"

Her voice suddenly when so soft and low. I opened ,y eyes to see more tears falling down her face.

"What hurts the most, was being so close

And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do"

Her voice broke in the end. Her hand flowed over the keys, drifting the song to a soft end. She sighed.

"Is what I was trying to do" She whispered to the piano.

My sobs were irrational now, uncontrollable. Luckily she couldn't hear me through this glass. She stood up and reached for a book from over the piano. I never saw that book before. It wasn't mine. She opened it and sat on the floor. She put the book on the seat and started writing in it. She spent a really long while writing in it. I tried unsuccessfully to see what she was writing. She would smile every now and then at what she wrote. Then surprisingly she laughed a small weak laugh. After a few minutes she finished. She put the pen in the book and closed it. She stood up from her knees and put the book back over the piano. She smiled at the book and whispered.

"Goodnight" She touched the cover then wrapped her arms around herself and walked out of the room.

When I was sure she was up, I ran to the door and very quietly entered my old house. In a second I was in front of the piano. I reached for the book and sat in the same spot where she sat on the floor. I crossed my legs and looked at the book. The cover was black and empty, it only had one word on it written in golden, "Edward" was written. I didn't understand. I opened the book and looked through the pages. It was a really big book.

It was like a diary, starting from the day I left her till today. It was still confusing I scanned the pages trying to understand till it finally clicked. I gasped. This wasn't a diary.

Bella used to spend every second with me and when I wasn't with her she would tell me everything I missed. That was exactly it. She was writing in this book everything that happened in her day as if she's telling me. She imagine what my responses would be like and wrote them. She told me (in the book) everything. What made her cry today and what made her smile. What she ate, how she dressed like, everything. I opened today's paged and read it.

Hey love,

Today was just boring. I woke up like everyday, had breakfast (omelets as usual) and studied Biology most of the day. I kept mixing up between the Larynx and the Pharynx, of course you wouldn't. Anyway, I got it in the end. Oh wait! I remember something, Mike called today and asked me out again. I don't think he understand what the word "no" means. I gave him a full definition but your way. My way would have been rude. Hoping he would understand this time. I doubt it though. Of course you know better than me since you can read his mind.

I had my piano lesson today and I did great! Mr. Gibbs asked me when I was going home, but I can't leave you here all alone now, can I? I didn't give him a specific time.

Guess what? He said you would be proud of how quick I'm learning. I hope that's true. I dreamt the same dream again today. You and me sitting together on the piano and playing together. It was so amazing. This dream is what encouraged me to learn you know. Now, I could play and imagine you beside me playing my lullaby. Which, by the way, I found the CD in my bed room. So now I know how to play it.

And of course, I tripped about three times today, bumped my head in the door and hit my knee about four times in your couch. So blame yourself. Of course now, you would be rolling your eyes and chuckling, shaking your head.

I had to chuckle at that between my sobs.

But I would answer you, that's just me. Now it's getting late and I have to go sleep. I need to have the energy to say no to Mike again tomorrow, since he asks me everyday. You know it's coming as a routine now. Wake up, brush my teeth, go to school, say no to Mike, get back, talk to you and sleep. See? Routine.

Anyway, I got to go now. Love you, forever and always.

Bella (your normal klutz) I couldn't help smiling.

p.s.: I wrote a new song! Me? Imagine?!

My sobs weren't so loud now, that I have some control on them. I closed the book and put it back in it's place. I was instantly at the door of my room. I listened carefully, I heard the even breathing of her sleep. So I opened the door slowly. And there she was, curled on my couch with a small blanket. Right there I decided that I was ready to tell her I'm here. That I'll never leave her again. That I'm sorry I did. That I loved her and never stopped loving her. When she wakes up, I'll make everything right again. She'll never be in pain again. Never again.

A/N: So? What do you think? Toldya I was a bit too romantic these days. I have no idea why but I like it lol. Hope you enjoyed that. Please tell me.