Well crap...
Author: Cesar Saez (aka Biggest_Baddest_Wolf)
Author's notes: Just a little something that played through my mind while working on a huge, huge, HUGE story that I've been working on for a very, very, very long time now.
This idea didn't fit in with the bigger story, but it also wouldn't let me put it aside, so I just had to put this idea into it's own little story.
It's a funny little bit, though my writing possibly doesn't do justice to the way it played out in my mind, but that's the thing with translating visual, living things into static, written description, especially when done in a language not one's own.
Still, I hope it gets across some of the imagery that it's about, and maybe gets a few good laughs, chuckles, smiles or even a little grin.
The title is "Well crap..." as it seemed the way to sum up what sort of things this work is about.
** Update: Now that I've written it, it haunts me again... it wants a sequel, or sequels... oh no, I've created a monster... lol
Copyright blahblah: Seen it on TV or in any other copyrighted work, then it isn't mine.
Unless I put it in there in the first place, which I didn't.
Unless it means I'm going to get a buttload of money and long lines of fabulous women out of it, then yes, I came up with it first and it's all mine, and anyone who really holds the copyrights can blow--- errr... okay, I just realized that I don't have a small army of rabid ferrets or fancy lawyers, while the copyright holders probably do, so... no copyright infringement intended, please don't sue my broke ass, so I can stay out of jail where I'd be way too popular.
And now, on with the writing!
=-=
Engineering was bustling with activity thanks to Voyager having hit a peaceful part of the otherwise hostile Delta quadrant, which left the department with enough time to get old repair and maintenance jobs done, as well as indulge in some pet projects – improvements to the ship, experiments without real purpose other than science, things that held the middle between the former.
One of the consoles had been occupied by the Chief Engineer, Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres, who for the last two hours had been so pre-occupied with her work that she hadn't noticed the arrival of Seven, the Astrometrics chief who had always been a source of frustration to B'Elanna, even if the two had recently become friends.
"Lieutenant Torres", Seven started, "I would like a word in private with you."
B'Elanna straightened up and swung around with a startled look, then groaned, "No. I'm busy, Seven. And whatever you have to say you can say to me here."
Seven tilted her head, raised a brow which caused the implant over her eye to rise up, then slightly smirked, "Indeed."
She took in a deep breath, then spoke loud enough for everyone within earshot to hear it, "Lieutenant Torres, it is not my business for what you utilize Holodeck two. However, next time you choose to store a modified copy of 'Warrior women at the river of blood', and wish to keep others from opening the file, it would be preferrable if you did not store it using the filename of one of my transwarp coil designs, which I simulate to see how efficient the designs are."
B'Elanna, who now seemed to be frozen in some unnatural stasis, simply stared at Seven, her eyes wide, her mouth even wider.
Seven's smirk now widened to one that everyone could see, and she continued, "Also, while anatomically correct, your holographic representation of me in that novel could not really be representing me, as I would consider it inefficient to arrive at a battle with no armor and weapons, unless you consider that little vibrating device an efficient weapon."
Most of the other Engineers quickly ran for the exit, fearing a major escalation of the situation if their Chief caught them laughing.
Only Vorik remained in place, pondering why B'Elanna had been so affected by what just took place, until it hit him due to Seven's next remark, "One thing however is accurate, Lieutenant. I would indeed challenge you to fight me, I would indeed best you in battle, and I would indeed use the vibrating device after besting you, to make you scream."
Seven watched as Vorik, too, now hurried towards the exit, then she leaned to B'Elanna, her smirk now threatening to split her face, and whispered, "But what I really had to say, Lieutenant, was that I wanted to request your assistance in Astrometrics. I upgraded the long range sensors, but they require some more work, which falls under Engineering's duties. I hope that Commander Chakotay was correct in his assumption that you will forgive me this joke, it was his idea in the first place after all."
With that, Seven turned and strode away, leaving a still baffled and stunned Chief Engineer.
Roughly two minutes later, said Chief Engineer finally blinked, and let out a "Well crap...", before going into a roaring laughter.
Several minutes later she wiped the back of her hand across her eyes, wiping away the tears of laughing too hard, then she finally walked towards her office to get her utility toolbelt and tricorder, plotting her revenge.
The end.... or is it?