My apologies in advance for ruining your childhood, in this, the first ever Schoolhouse Rock fanfiction.

She's had a love-hate relationship with the planet Earth in the past few decades. Her first visit was some time in the 70's, but she found the humans "weird" and that made her uncomfortable, so she moved on. Then in the 90's the rocket ship she was riding in (don't ask why, just roll with it) collided with a hot rodding alien—causing her to land in a borderline suburban area on Earth until the rocket was fixed. But now it was the late 2010's and she found the guts to take another stab at Earth. As the phrase goes, the "third time is the charm". Or was it?

Earth looked exciting

Kinda green and inviting

So Janet thought she'd give it a go.

But BONK

Something kept Janet from descending further down. She pulled her face up and off the surface, and rapped on it with her hand. It was a huge glass…wall—and it surrounded the entire planet!

Meanwhile in Washington DC, the President of the United States threw another vetoed bill in the garbage. He looked out one of the windows in the Oval Office and faced upward. He saw what he first thought was a speck of dirt on the window, but then realized it wasn't a speck of dirt—nor was it on the window. The president pulled out a long telescope—it was a yuge one—and, opening the old window, aimed it at the tiny black blip in the sky.

It looked like the bottom half of a rocket, and the top half of a girl; one with poofy hair, I might add. But to the president, it was nothing but an alien. Exactly the stuff he was looking to keep out of his country…nay…his planet.

The president marveled at the chaos he created, with a hearty—if not evil—heave of laughter.

"Mwahahaha," he said to himself, "It worked! And the fake news thought I was crazy when I said I wanted to build a wall around the whole planet and make NASA pay for it!"

As he spoke, his smartphone picked up his words and printed them on his Twitter feed. The president looked down onto his phone to see what he said.

"Dot dot dot…" he declared, then tapped SEND.

He picked up his phone and activated the CAMERA app. Aiming at the telescope with the freshly caught alien still on there, he took a picture, and tapped TWEET. Then, tapping DICTATE, he continued his thoughts out loud.

"Now we don't have to worry about a Roswell reprise! This is so much better than my wall around Mexico! Yuge!"

Happy with how it turned out, he tapped SEND again, posting the picture for all the world to see.

Janet's smartphone vibrated. She pulled it out and opened the app that needed distress. She then wished she hadn't. A message on her smartphone screen read

It worked! And the FAKE NEWS thought I was crazy when I said I wanted to build a wall around the WHOLE PLANET and make NASA pay for it…

This was followed by…a picture of Janet with her faced smothered all over the glass—taken from underneath said glass at ridiculously high resolution. Then another message…

Now we don't have to worry about a Roswell reprise! This is so much better than my wall around Mexico! Huge!

Janet didn't know what made her want to keep coming back to Earth in the first place, but now she was done with Earth for good. Or at least until they get a new president who'll take down the "wall". Disappointed, she took off and split for Venus. Maybe all the clouds around will keep her mind occupied for a while.

IIIIIITTTT'S THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!