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About 15 minutes into their session, Kurt heard his name and paid attention.
"Kurt, you seem preoccupied today." Mr. Adams said.
"Sorry. I was just going through what I need to get done this afternoon and evening. I'm trying to get ahead so that I can stay in Lima all weekend with no schoolwork hanging over my head."
"I see. What's going on in Lima?"
"My old school is in the championship football game, which makes no sense to me since football should have been over months ago. But I quit trying to make sense of things when it comes to McKinley. So, Blaine and I are headed to Lima when school gets out on Friday since he was the one that came up with an idea that helped keep my friends on the team from having to forfeit the game."
"And you're both staying the whole weekend?"
"No, just me. He's going to head back after the game. He's going to spend the weekend at Wes' place in Columbus. I'll get up early Saturday and work the whole day more than likely. I need the money. And Dad likes to show up and fiddle around and keep me company."
"Did you like any of the clubs you've been considering?"
"I didn't go to any of the meetings."
"You're going to have to put more effort into this, Kurt. The requirements were that you would join at least two extracurricular activities. The Warblers count, but I've been very lenient. We've been back to school for nearly four weeks. You need to find something else to join."
"Yes, sir."
"I'm going to let you leave early this week to get started on your schoolwork."
"Thank you, sir."
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Kurt headed off to Lima as soon as his last class ended since he had to work at the shop for a few hours before the game. Blaine wasn't planning to leave for Lima until around 5:30.
After he finished his shift at the shop, Kurt headed home and changed quickly. Burt, Carole, and Kurt met up with Blaine at the school and headed up into the stands to find a seat. The first half of the game went horribly, but the girls did manage to keep the game going. At halftime, the rest of the guys on the football team gave in and headed out to the field to perform with the New Directions. The halftime show was spectacular. The rest of the team rejoined the New Directions footballers and played in the second half. With the team back together, they were able to pull off a win.
Kurt headed home with his parents while Finn and the rest of the New Directions headed to Brittany's house for a celebration party. Carole encouraged him to go with Finn, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He hadn't played any part in their victory, so he didn't feel like it was his place to join in the celebration. As planned, Blaine headed to Wes' house.
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"You can call me a hopeless romantic, but it's my favorite holiday," Blaine said as he and Kurt stood in line at the Lima Bean in Marysville.
"Really?"
"I think there's something really great about a day where you're encouraged to just lay it all on the line and say to somebody, 'I'm in love with you.'"
Kurt just looked at him somewhat incredulously, but continued to listen as they stepped closer to the counter as the line moved forward.
"This year I want to do something really radical and I need your opinion on this. There's this guy that I sort of like. And I've only known him for a little while, but I wanna tell him that I think my feelings are starting to change into something – deeper. So I have to ask… Do you think it's too much to sing to someone on Valentine's Day?"
"Not at all." Kurt's heart swelled with the potential that Blaine was going to "lay it all on the line" for him and serenade him.
"What can I get you?" the barista asked as Blaine and Kurt reached the counter.
"A medium drip and a grande non-fat mocha for this guy. And maybe I could get him to split one of those cupid cookies with me."
"You know my coffee order?" came stammering out somewhat breathless, when what he was really thinking about was the cupid cookie. Not a snickerdoodle or a white chocolate chip macadamia cookie. He wants to share a CUPID cookie with me. Blaine loved Valentine's Day and one amazing serenade was coming his way. He was certain of it.
"Of course, I do."
Of course, he does.
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"I think he's finally going to ask me to be his boyfriend officially."
"What makes you think that?" Mr. Adams asked.
Kurt recounted their visit to the Lima Bean the day before and continued. "We've been on over 30 coffee dates now. You know we do out homework together, even though we aren't in the same classes, except Algebra 2 and Chemistry, so it's not just so he can help me or mentor me more because I don't need any help. We've had umpteen movie dates in his room."
"Well, I hope things work out for you the way you want them to. You just mentioned coursework. You're not struggling with that this semester?"
"No, not at all. After the semester break, I started out on equal footing, so keeping up isn't a problem. Of course, the classes here are more demanding, but I like that. That's one of my favorite parts about being here. The teachers actually teach. We've talked about that before."
"We have. Have you started looking at colleges or universities yet?"
"No. Should I be?" Kurt felt panicked all of a sudden.
"Well, the college and career planning seminar for juniors starts in," Mr. Adams paused and checked his calendar. "Three weeks. So, technically, you don't have to be thinking about it yet, but soon."
"But it's so far from now."
"Not as far as you think. Schools with early admission have application deadlines in October or November. Regular application deadlines are in December and early January."
"That's still a long time."
"There's a lot to plan for, especially for students like you, Kurt."
"What do you mean?" The panic was building.
"High-achieving students, especially ones with parents with a lot of assets, but very little in the way of liquid assets, have to do a lot of searching to find financial aid. Since your dad and stepmother got married, their incomes will be combined and your dad's business will figure into his assets even though he can't sell it to help pay for you to go to college. The machinery in his shop is worth a lot of money, plus the building and the land it sits on."
"Oh." Crap. He had never even thought about how people paid to go to college. He didn't actually know anyone personally who had gone to college. Well, Carole, but she never talked about it. Focus on Mr. Adams, he reminded himself.
"So, it's very, very unlikely that you will be eligible for any federal or state grants or income-based financial aid. You'll be offered loans, but you've mentioned wanting to study in New York. Schools like NYU cost over $50,000 a year, just for tuition. That's a lot of borrowing. The only other option is scholarships."
"So, $200,000 plus the cost of living in New York City for four years at NYU?" Oh, my God. There's no way.
Mr. Adams nodded.
He tried to temper his response to a more suitable level. "I see what you mean. I do need to get started on that. Will the seminar teach me what I need to know or is there a book or something I should read?"
"The seminar is quite well-organized. You shouldn't need anything extra, except the time you put in doing the research once the seminar starts."
"Okay." I hope he's right.
"How are things going with you working harder to get to know people? Have you spent time with anyone besides Blaine in this past week? He's the only person you've mentioned today."
"Not really. He wants to go out to coffee after Warblers rehearsal most days. By the time we get back, I have homework to do. I did join the Yoga Club. It meets before classes on Tuesday mornings."
Mr. Adams laughed. "Alright, Kurt. You win for now. I'm pretty certain that you knew that you were supposed to join a club that helps you integrate into the student body here at Dalton. Joining a club where no one speaks to each other is following the letter of the law, but not the spirit of it."
Kurt nodded in agreement with Mr. Adam's assessment of his club choice. "I'm just not like the other students here. I've assimilated well enough I think. I don't stand out. I'm not the 'late in the semester transfer kid' or a weirdo. I'm just Kurt who's been here long enough to know how to be a proper Dalton boy. Before winter break, I gave up trying to come up with ways to be unique with my uniform while following the letter of the law as you put it."
"You're still finding it unpleasant."
"Not 'unpleasant' per se. I love the academic environment. I love the peace and quiet. And most of all, I love that I'm not being given new bruises daily and I don't live in fear. But I'm not a Dalton boy at heart. It's not that I haven't tried. I have. I'm trying to follow your advice. I observed. I listened. I paid very close attention – like studying for an acting role. The guys here have been learning this role since birth, I think. The whole mentality of becoming what your family expects you to become is so far removed from my reality, it's unnerving to talk to them. Talking to a lot of them is like listening to someone saying lines from a play they memorized so long ago that they don't even realize that the words aren't their own. The words they say come out their mouths with such ease, but they seem so disconnected with what they're saying. And if I dare veer from the script, they just shut down or change the topic."
"That's a really interesting assessment."
"Maybe the teachers should assign students to take the opposite stance on a topic. Like have everyone turn in a proposed topic for an opinion or persuasive essay for English. Once the topics and side of the issue has been chosen, flip their choices on them and make them write the essay from the opposing opinion. Teach them how to research, not just find and use the first three articles that agree with their indoctrination."
"Interesting idea."
"I think so."
"Well, our 30 minutes are up." Mr. Adams smiled. "Talking to you is always an interesting addition to my week, Kurt."
"Thanks, I think." Kurt stood up and walked to the door.
"I'll mark that you met the second club requirement. Keep trying to find at least one more person you can spend time with."
He nodded and left. Find a human among the collective. Easier said than done. The number of Borg jokes Sam could make is endless here. Kurt headed up to his room to get working on his pile of reading.
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Kurt had finished lunch quickly and was sitting in an armchair in one of the halls waiting for the first period after lunch to start. He pulled a notebook out and drew a heart with an arrow through it and wrote his name and Blaine's inside it using a red pen. It's just a matter of time now. Valentine's Day is in three days.
Blaine approached smiling, obviously glad to have found Kurt after searching for him. "Whatcha' doin'?"
Kurt quickly shut the notebook. "Nothing. Just daydreaming. Plotting weekend outfits."
"Well, come on. You're gonna wanna see this. I've called an emergency meeting of the Warblers Council."
"Oh. Sounds serious." Kurt grabbed his satchel, stood, and quickly followed Blaine to the Warblers' rehearsal room. His anticipation peaked. Now. Finally.
Blaine put his hands on Kurt's shoulders, guiding him to the room enthusiastically. "Let's hope not. I just need to ask them a tiny little favor."
They made their way to the room. Kurt took a seat on a couch near the council table. He was bristling with excitement.
"This emergency meeting is called to order." Wes banged his gavel. "Junior member Blaine Anderson, the floor is yours."
Blaine stood from the chair he had been sitting in at the front of the room. "Esteemed Council, I'll be brief. Simply put – I'm in love."
Kurt's face flashed with a sweet, yet shy smile and excitement. He's in love… with me… and he just told everyone.
"Congrats," David said.
"I'm not really good at talking about my feelings. I'm much better at singing them." He made eye contact with a barely-managing-to-stay-seated Kurt. "But still I could use a little help, which is why I'm asking to enlist the Warblers to help serenade this individual in song – off campus."
The room broke out with everyone vocally questioning his suggestion. The council explained why his idea was preposterous, but Blaine persevered.
"We're becoming privileged porcelain birds."
The room broke out in unrest again. Wes reestablished order with his gavel.
Kurt raised his hand and asked to speak. He backed Blaine's idea. Off campus is as good a place as any to sing…to me. He could barely contain his excitement.
After Kurt's passionate speech about how singing in informal settings could help improve the Warblers' performances at competitions, Wes asked, "And where would this performance take place?"
"At the GAP at the North Hills Mall. I'd like to call it 'The Warblers GAP Attack.'"
A lot of the Warblers laughed at his name for the event.
Kurt asked, "Why the GAP?"
"The guy I like is the junior manager."
Kurt's face fell. A vote was taken. He was too shocked to move. The junior manager at the GAP? Kurt felt like a knife had been plunged through his heart.
The motion passed and arrangements were made to hold a rehearsal after school.
Kurt left the room in a daze and struggled to focus the rest of the afternoon.
"The guy I like is the junior manager." "The guy I like is the junior manager." "The guy I like is the junior manager."
After his last period class, he went to his room and headed home as planned, not even bothering to take the time to change. He had to work a few hours in the shop, participate in Friday family night dinner, and then he had plans to spend the night at Rachel's house with Mercedes later that evening.
Focus. You have to make it to Lima in one piece. Focus. The guy he likes is the junior manager. Wrong focus. Focus on the road. He turned the music up and sang along.
Over pizza late that evening, he told Mercedes and Rachel what had happened earlier in the day and he realized that he had made it all up in his head. Every bit of what he thought was casually dating Blaine was just Blaine being Blaine. The fact that he knew his coffee order and split cupid cookies with him had nothing to do with having any romantic feelings for him whatsoever.
He hadn't planned on attending the GAP Attack since he hadn't stayed for the song rehearsal. He didn't even know what song they were singing. Rachel and Mercedes encouraged him to participate. He fell asleep not having made a decision.
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The next morning, he got up and headed back to the shop to put in a half-day's work before heading back home. He left himself just enough time to shower, put his uniform back on, and head to the North Hills Mall. He had gotten a group text reminder of the time and location to meet, so he headed straight to the meet-up point outside the GAP when he got to the mall.
He didn't have the nerve to ask what song was being sung because he didn't want to answer why he hadn't been at the rehearsal the afternoon before. They went inside the store.
"That's him – the blonde one folding sweaters." Blaine pointed out to him.
"I can see the appeal. That's quite a head of hair he has." Seriously, Blaine? He's like 20.
"His name is Jeremiah. If he and I got married, the GAP would give me a 50% discount."
Blaine was facing away from Kurt still, which blocked his ability to see Kurt roll his eyes at that statement. The most important information you can share with me about him is that you'd get a 50% discount at the GAP? Ugh.
"This is insane. I don't know what I'm doing. We haven't even really gone out on a date. We shouldn't do this."
Kurt grabbed him by the shoulders and told him to man up – something he regretted when he heard the song start. Before they had gotten halfway through the song, Kurt had pretty much stopped singing and was just hanging out by one of the displays. He expected a typical Warblers performance where everyone would stay together and shuffle step with singing. He did not expect Blaine to follow Jeremiah around the store and sing standing one foot in front of him. This isn't a serenade – it's musical stalking or something.
Afterwards, he and Blaine were sitting on a bench outside the mall.
Blaine asked him, "Was it too much?"
Kurt's response was a "You have got to be kidding me" look. Um, yeah. Too much in so many ways.
"It was too much."
Just then Jeremiah came out. He told them that Blaine had outed him and that he had been fired. He also pointed out that their age difference made a relationship between them impossible. He walked away.
"Can I ride back to the school with you?"
"Sure." That's what people who have been friend zoned do, right? Be there for their friends when they publicly humiliate themselves.
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Blaine caught Kurt at breakfast and sat down with him and invited him out for coffee. Kurt agreed to go. He worked on homework until lunch and thought about what he was going to say to Blaine.
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The ride to the coffee shop was awkward. Kurt reached for the radio and turned it up and they sang along. They got in line once they were inside.
"Ugh. Don't they have anything here that isn't covered with stupid little hearts? Gross."
"Well, you've certainly changed your tune." Kurt responded dryly. Talk about a total 180.
"I don't think I've ever made that big a fool of myself, which is really saying something because I've performed at theme parks." He sighed. "I just can't believe that I made it all up in my head."
You and me both. Kurt gathered his courage. "Okay." He tamped down his inner bitch. "Can I ask you something? Because we've always been completely honest with each other." Kurt looked Blaine directly in the eyes. "You and I, we hang out. We sing flirty duets together. You know my coffee order. Was I supposed to think that that was nothing?"
Blaine was completely clueless. "What do you mean?"
"I thought the guy you wanted to ask out for Valentine's Day was me." Duh.
Blaine blinked considering what Kurt had said. "Wow. I really am clueless." He paused. "Look, Kurt. I don't know what I'm doing. I pretend like I do. And I know how to act it out in song, the truth is, I've never really been anyone's boyfriend."
Kurt smiled gently. "Me neither." He managed to tame the rant that wanted to escape and actually listened.
"Let me be really clear about something. I really, really care about you, but as you and about 20 mortified shoppers saw, I'm not very good at romance. I don't want to screw this up."
Kurt nodded slightly. "So, it's just like When Harry Met Sally – but I get to play Meg Ryan." He looked directly into Blaine's eyes with a flirty expression on his face.
"Deal. Don't they get together in the end?"
Of course. It's a rom-com. But clearly, my life isn't a rom-com. It's time to move you to the friend zone and file this whole thing into the lessons I learned about dating. Unless both parties agree that dates are actual DATES, then two people are not dating. Got it.
They had made it to the front of the line. Kurt ordered. "Can I get non-fat mocha, and a medium drip for my friend here, Billy Crystal?"
"You know my coffee order."
Kurt had a flash of inspiration. "You know what? I think I've got something for us to do on Valentine's Day."
"Do tell."
"I'll have to make a few phone calls first. Give me a few minutes and I'll find you." Kurt stepped outside. When he came back in and sat down with Blaine, he explained his idea.
Blaine called another emergency Warblers rehearsal for 2:00. They headed back to the school. Kurt proposed his idea for a Lonely Hearts Café. They practiced a 20-minute set of songs. No choreography and limited harmony, but they still sounded good.
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After school, the Warblers headed to Breadstix instead of holding rehearsal. Performing was fun to do as a group, and since they did it early, it left time for those in the group with girlfriends to keep their plans. It wasn't their most spectacular performance, but everyone had a good time.
Kurt's heart still ached, but what was done, was done. Time to move on. The six other people singing in his Navigator made to too hard for him to wallow on the drive back to Dalton.
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Kurt's counseling session was pretty much a repeat of the previous ones. Mr. Adams admonished to make new friends. He did his best to deflect and talk about other things.
At dinner, he sat next to Blaine. Operation Friend Zone. Time to man up and invite my only friend here to be my plus one at Rachel's party. My PLATONIC plus one.
"Are you busy Friday?"
"No, why?"
"Rachel's having a party. Do you want to go with me?"
"Are you sure she's okay with it?"
"Of course. Your idea helped keep the football team from forfeiting. Everyone will be fine with you coming. No one considers you to be the 'enemy' or anything. We just won't talk about our set lists and everything will be fine."
"Well, then, sure."
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Rachel's words were on repeat as he curled up in his oversized chair to attempt to sleep – "Blaine Warbler, I'm gonna rock your world." as the image of the two of them French kissing right in front of him played over and over in his mind.
So, I'm not as over it as I thought. But now I'm 100% sure there will never be anything between us. Maybe I need to push him out of the friend zone and into the fellow Warbler category.
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After the unfortunate encounter with Burt finding Blaine in his bed, Kurt managed to get Blaine up and goad him enough to get him to drink the coffee and eat the breakfast he had made for him. He sent him back to Dalton, claiming that his privileges for having company over had been revoked due to the drinking. Blaine left and drove back to Dalton.
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After Burt's lecture about Kurt's inappropriate behavior, Kurt just needed a break. He had planned on spending the afternoon working at the shop after Blaine headed back to Dalton, so he didn't bring home any schoolbooks or his laptop. He grabbed his coat and took off and left for the shop early to put some extra hours in since he had nothing better to do.
He spent the majority of the day working on a few cars, doing inventory, updating the books, and anything else that he could think of in an attempt to keep his mind off of the whole situation.
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Burt showed up several hours later and puttered around a bit. The two of them didn't talk about what had happened. Once everything that could be done had been done, they headed back to the house. Kurt picked his stuff up and drove back to Dalton so that he could actually get his schoolwork done. He did even more thinking on the 90-minute drive back. He listened to Mellancamp for a while feeling nostalgic and wishing he had just taken his books home with him so he could have stayed longer. The longer he went without having to see Blaine, the better.
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Monday morning, Kurt was sitting alone eating breakfast. Blaine plopped his tray right down next to him and began to talk as if nothing had happened over the weekend. Kurt participated in the conversation as little as possible. Blaine reminded him of their coffee date after school. Kurt just went with it, not knowing how to get out of it at that point without lying.
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"You can't lead her on."
"Who says I'm leading her on?"
Me. That's who. The guy you took out on so many coffee dates. The guy you sang flirty duets with. The guy who thought those things meant something.
By the end of the day, he really wished he had not gone. Blaine had walked out of the Lima Bean and left him there after their argument.
Kurt called Trent because he couldn't think of anyone else who might willingly make the 35-minute drive to pick him up at the Lima Bean in Marysville. He found out Trent's coffee order and placed it to time it right for his arrival. He was standing outside waiting for Trent and hopped in his car. He handed him the coffee when he got in. He also handed him a paper sack with one of the Lima Bean's signature chocolate chip cookies in it. Trent was very gracious about the whole situation, which Kurt was thankful for.
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That evening, he spoke to Rachel on the phone. She waxed poetic about how lovely their date had been. Kurt tried to warn her. Despite how hurt he was that she went out with Blaine when she knew that Kurt had feelings for him. He tried to be a decent human being. Not that it worked. I tried.
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Tuesday morning, their breakfast roles were reversed. Kurt plopped down next to Blaine, with a cup of coffee in his hand. Blaine stopped eating when Kurt sat down.
"Please listen and don't talk. I only have one thing to say right now. I apologize for the statement I made about bisexual teen guys. I was just angry and it didn't even come out like I meant for it to." He took a deep breath and started again. "Bisexuals who date in a male/female pairing are not outcasts like homosexual couples. I was upset because if you are bisexual, I will be alone again. I will be the only gay guy I know. It was a knee-jerk, selfish response." He paused again. "If you're bisexual, that's fine. I'm already friends with at least one bisexual person, possibly two. I'm not someone who believes bisexuality doesn't exist. I will be more careful with what I say in the future." He stood and walked toward the classroom wing, tossing his cup on the way out.
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Kurt struggled with paying attention in class. Why did I agree to meet Rachel after school today? To be supportive. Blaine's going to shoot her down, just like he shot me down.
He headed out to meet her at the Lima Bean in Marysville as soon as the Warblers let out. He managed to beat Blaine there by a few minutes and Rachel was already there waiting for them both.
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Fifteen minutes later, he was in the Navigator heading back toward Westerville, his mind reeling. "Who cares about you buddy?" on repeat in his thoughts.
At that point, he had to admit to himself that his inner bitch wasn't on lock down anymore. He was angry and hurt. Who cares about me? Obviously that was a question that didn't have the answer "Rachel Berry" and maybe not even "Blaine Anderson".
The only response that came to mind was that his dad cared about him and Carole too. He fought back the tears to make the 35-minute drive. Once he was in his room, he let them out.
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"How are things going?"
"I went to Yoga Club. I'm keeping up in my classes. The Warblers are rehearsing for Regionals. We're going to sing for the Crawford County Day glee club later this afternoon before dinner."
"That could be fun."
"I'm not in the mood, but we'll see, I guess."
"Why aren't you in the mood? I've always gotten the impression that you love to perform."
"Ah, well, something happened that I can't talk about because I don't want to incriminate other people, but needless to say, Blaine and I aren't really speaking right now. And the song we're singing is supposed to be somewhat flirtatious between the two of us, which will be hard to pull off today."
"I see."
"I also have school work to do and with Warblers rehearsal, coming here to talk to you, driving over to sing for them, and coming back for a late dinner, I'm going to get a late start on my work for the evening."
"Have you come up with any ideas on making new friends?"
"Not really."
"If you're not going to spend time with Blaine anymore, you really need to find someone else to befriend."
"Trent. I'll work on talking to Trent. He was nice enough to do me a big favor a couple of days ago."
"Alright."
The session ended early because Kurt was only giving short answers to direct questions and Mr. Adams finally gave up and let him leave.
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Kurt headed out to the parking lot to drive over to Crawford County Day.
"Oh, hey Kurt." Blaine said. "How about I just jump in with you instead of driving?"
"That's fine." Obviously, Blaine was too oblivious to be unaware of how his actions affected others, but also completely oblivious to when people were aggravated with him. A thought flashed into his head. Blaine is the male version of Rachel, except that he's so dapper and charming, that people just give him a pass like Finn gets for being such a golden retriever. Blaine – the dapper, oblivious, prep school boy.
Blaine got in and they drove the 10 minutes to get to the girls' school. It was on the same property as Dalton, but on the opposite side. The athletic fields for each school, plus a large wooded area separated the school buildings themselves.
They performed but Kurt just wasn't into it. He didn't think that sexy was what they needed to win, but Blaine didn't listen when he suggested that adding real choreography to the songs would help them win.
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After they got back to Dalton, Blaine followed him to his room and asked if he could come in. Kurt let him in. Blaine attempted to teach Kurt to make sexier faces. The whole thing was ridiculous and Kurt got aggravated and eventually asked Blaine to just leave. He knew he had done a bad job and no amount of looking in a mirror and practicing faces was going to change that.
He also knew that he would have to come up with legitimate ways to avoid spending time with Blaine. He didn't have it in him to play the dutiful friend anymore. I'm done.
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Blaine faked being sick and left his last period class 20 minutes early and headed to Lima. He managed to time his arrival to Burt's shop so he would be gone a few minutes before Kurt arrived. He went in to talk to Burt about how Kurt needed "The Talk". Burt wasn't incredibly receptive, but he listened. Blaine headed from the shop over to Rachel's to meet her for their platonic date.
Kurt arrived about 10 minutes after Blaine had left. Burt didn't say anything about Blaine's visit. The two of them worked together on some more complicated repairs that needed done and went home after closing up the shop.
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Kurt woke up quite early and ate breakfast on his own. He wasn't sure where his dad was, but he knew Carole was working and he was certain that Finn was still asleep. After he finished, he headed back upstairs and got dressed for the day. A little later, he got a text from his dad asking him to come down to the kitchen.
He headed downstairs to find Burt waiting to give him "The Talk". Kurt covered his ears and didn't want to hear what his dad had to say. When he finally listened, he realized that Burt had pamphlets in his hand.
Kurt was pleased when he realized that Burt wasn't going to go over the information in the pamphlets, and that he just wanted to talk to him. He gave him an uplifting talk about valuing himself. He walked upstairs reciting the words "You matter." that his dad had shared with him.
He sat down on his bed and looked through the pamphlets. They really didn't have any information in them that he wasn't already aware of, although he did appreciate the drawings and the specific information without the whole thing feeling like he was reading a porn magazine. He was most happy about the fact that his dad had taken the time to read the pamphlets and would no longer be able to say that he didn't know what "went down in the tent". He put the pamphlets in an envelope and put them at the bottom of his sweater drawer after he finished reading them.
He put his shoes on and headed to the shop to put in his Saturday hours. He listened to music on the short drive and turned the radio in the work bays while he worked. Kurt stayed at the shop through lunch working on a repair that turned out to be a little more time-consuming than he had anticipated.
When he got back home, he went into the kitchen to find a snack, only to hear voices coming from the family room downstairs. He went down and found several of the New Directions guys and Tina were sitting around watching a movie. No one said anything. He just sat on the floor and joined them.
About an hour later, Finn went up and came back down with a stack of pizza boxes. He grabbed a couple of slices to eat and while the movie was paused, he heard all about Rachel's second date with Blaine the night before from Tina. He wanted to just get up and leave, but he finished watching the movie before he headed back to Dalton.
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Kurt spent the day in the Dalton library working on a big paper he had to write for US History. He forcefully pushed all thoughts of Rachel and Blaine from his mind until after he had finished his final draft. He put all of the books he had used back on the cart to be reshelved and headed back to his room.
He decided that he wouldn't open the door if anyone knocked that afternoon or evening. He didn't turn any music on like he normally did when he was in his room. He put his earbuds in and lay back in his bed to think.
Blaine. Over. Done. Perhaps they could be friends in the future. They did have a lot of common interests and got along easily. But his flirty nature was too confusing for Kurt to let him close again any time soon.
Rachel. Over. Done. Permanently. He couldn't let her close again. She wanted a "best gay" or "platonic life partner" or whatever – Blaine could have the role. I don't want it.
He pushed himself to see the two of them as objectively as possible and what he came up with was how perfect they were for each other. They could absolutely push to keep themselves in the spotlight without pushing the other out. They could compliment each other in the spotlight, whereas from their viewpoint, he was in competition with both of them. Not anymore.
Now, he just needed to figure out how to befriend Trent to keep Mr. Adams from hassling him so much. Or find someone else.
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Kurt took a deep breath and approached the table where Trent was sitting alone at breakfast.
"Mind if I join you?"
"Please."
"I wanted to thank you again for picking me up last Monday. I really appreciate it."
"Oh, you're welcome. It wasn't a big deal. Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Why don't you ever come to any of the Warblers' movie nights?"
"What movie nights?"
"We alternate between going out to the theater and watching movies in the Warblers' practice room on Friday evenings."
"Well, for one, I didn't know about them. But even if I had known, I could have only come those couple of weekends in mid-January when we got snowed in here at school. I go home to Lima every Friday afternoon as soon as the last bell rings. I work in my dad's shop and then we have our family dinner on Friday nights. I don't miss unless I absolutely can't get there."
"I see. Are you here on Saturday evenings?"
"Sometimes, but sometimes not. Some of the time I don't come back until Sunday from Lima."
"What kind of shop does your dad own?"
"It's called Hummel Tire and Lube, but we do more than that now. He just never changed the name. It's a full service auto repair shop. I'm a mechanic. I work there three hours on Fridays and anywhere from 4-8 hours on Saturdays."
"Wow. That's pretty cool. I don't know how to fix anything. I can't even change a tire."
"I could teach you some time."
"Maybe."
"What are your hobbies?"
"I play clarinet."
"Do you play in the orchestra?"
"I do. I'm first chair."
"Wow. Congratulations."
"I'd like to be a conductor someday. It's a current debate in my family. I'm just a sophomore, so I have some time still."
"What are you supposed to be?"
"A doctor."
"Oh."
"Does your dad want you to take over his shop?"
"He'd probably like me to, but that job will more than likely fall to my stepbrother who enjoys small-town life. I'm hoping to end up in New York City or someplace equally open to me being a stage performer."
"And your dad's not upset?"
"He's probably sad about it, but it's not a surprise. He's known I was gay since I was three and he's known that small-town life is not the place for an admittedly flaming gay male to live a comfortable life."
"Flaming?"
"Well, I've been told repeatedly since coming here that my job is to assimilate and become a proper Dalton boy. I've done my best. Even the regular clothes I've brought with me to wear back and forth to Lima are the most boring clothes that I own. I am far, far from the typical Dalton student."
"I see."
"I doubt it."
"Show me."
"Okay, but don't say that you weren't warned. And keep in mind that gossiping about people is a type of quiet bullying. I am opening up to you and showing you something private and trusting you to keep it between us."
"Alright."
Kurt pulled his phone out and scrolled through photos for a few minutes. He turned the phone so that Trent could see him in the outfit he had worn the day Mr. Schue had sent him to the principal's office for insubordination about singing Brittany Spears' songs.
Trent looked at the photo. He had a blank look on his face at first, and then became quite pensive. "You wore that to school?"
"I did."
"It looks like one of those outfits that runway models wear in Europe, but I've never seen any guys actually wear any of those clothes."
"Well, now you have."
"I guess so – at least a photo of someone I know wearing them. I'm assuming that there are more. You don't just have one runway outfit."
"Oh, no. There are lots more. A whole closet full of more."
"Interesting."
"What's that mean?"
"Well, I've wondered why you gave up after you tried to get us to do things a little differently when you came. You said someone told you that you needed to assimilate. That's what's behind your flat affect I'm guessing."
"Pretty much. I'll show you something else, if you promise to keep it a secret."
"I promise."
Kurt pulled up a photo of him and the six New Directions girls in their Lady Gaga outfits from "Bad Romance". He turned the phone back so Trent could see. "That's me with the girls during Lady Gaga week. We performed 'Bad Romance' in those costumes, which we wore to school."
"You wore that dress, those leggings, and those heels to school?"
"Yes."
"Do you have a video?"
"I do, but you have to use headphones."
Trent pulled his headphones out of his satchel while Kurt logged into the private New Directions MySpace page. Once he had it ready, he plugged Trent's headphones in and pressed play. Trent's eyes went wide when he saw Kurt strutting around and dancing in those heels. Then, he realized that Kurt was singing lead with two of the girls. Once it finished, he unplugged his headphones and put them away.
"That was really good. You have a more varied style of singing than I realized."
"Thank you?"
"Well, the only thing I've heard you sing by yourself is 'Don't Cry for me Argentina'. Lady Gaga didn't come to mind as something you'd sing."
Kurt laughed. "I've sung lots of different styles of music. I have over a three octave range."
"What?"
"One last video before we have to leave."
Trent pulled his headphones back out. Kurt pulled up "Give Up the Funk". Trent's jaw dropped when he heard Kurt singing the opening of the song. By the end, Trent looked sort of dazed. He pulled his headphones back out.
"How long did you all rehearse that piece?"
"Maybe 30 minutes."
"What?"
"I tried to tell everyone. I was told my ideas weren't needed, so I quit attempting to share them."
The warning bell for first period sounded.
"Meet me for lunch?"
"Sure. But what I showed you isn't for you to spread around."
"I know. I already told you I wouldn't say anything."
"I'll find you at lunch."
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"Good afternoon, Kurt."
"Afternoon"
"Anything in particular on your mind today?"
"Blaine is out of the picture." Kurt explained how he had misconstrued everything surrounding Blaine and his non-interest in Kurt as vaguely as possible, while conveying his decision to stay away from Blaine, at least for the time being.
"So, you're plan is to shut him out and walk away?"
"I know it's immature, but so was stomping off and leaving me stranded in Marysville. This is the most mature choice I can make at the moment. I'm not an awful person. I'm not interested in retaliation. I'm over him, but I need a break from one-on-one time with him. Walking away and saying nothing may be immature, but at least it's not vengeful."
"I get that."
"On the upside, I've eaten breakfast and lunch with Trent the last three days. But I still need to come up with a better plan to integrate myself into the student body."
"Okay. Why the sudden change of heart?"
"I need to be too busy to spend time with Blaine after Warblers rehearsal. So, something directly after classes end would be perfect."
"So, you want something to fill the large chunk of time you've been spending with Blaine?"
"Exactly."
"Well, how about tutoring? You're the top in your French class. You could join the tutoring team. It's a paid position, plus it would look good on your CV for college applications. You set the tutoring session times."
"Really? That sounds perfect. That way, I'd have a real reason to not be able to go out to coffee every day. Plus, I need the money."
Mr. Adams opened a drawer in his desk that had hanging files and searched for the right folder. He pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Kurt. "Well, fill this form out later and turn it in to Miss Burns out front and she'll set you up with a time to take a test to determine what level of French you can tutor. Is there anything else on your mind?"
"Money in general. I overheard my dad talking to my stepmother about the cost of keeping me here when I was at home over the weekend. I feel terrible to be such a burden to them."
"Isn't your school district paying for your placement here? Your lack of safety in your prior school is what caused you to have to enroll here."
"My school district?"
"I'm going to set up an appointment for you to speak with an advocate, if that's okay with you."
"Sure, but what's an advocate in this particular instance?"
"Someone who is going to help your family get your school district to pay for you to attend Dalton. When a student cannot receive a proper education in their home district, it's that district's responsibility to pay for the student to receive an education in an appropriate environment."
"I'm sure McKinley will fight tooth and nail."
"It won't matter, Kurt. The law is the law. You just need to get someone to advocate for you who knows the education laws."
"So, in theory, I could stay here next year as well?"
"If the threat remains, then yes."
"Well, he's in the same grade as I am, so unless he leaves, the threat will still be there."
"As soon as you leave, I'll set up an appointment with someone to come to the school and review your case and speak to you. I'll need your dad to sign a form though."
"Just fax it to his work number. I'll call him and tell him to sign it and fax it right back."
"I can do that after our session."
"Well, honestly, I'd rather you do it right now and make an appointment for the advocate than talk about anything else. If I didn't have to worry about being pulled out mid-term to go back to McKinley, I'd be a lot less stressed out."
"That's fine. Why don't you go ahead and sit there and fill out the form to join the tutoring team while I fax your dad the form and get an appointment set up?"
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"Please have a seat in the small room over there, Kurt. The test is already set up for you to take. While you take it, I'll email a recommendation request to Madame LeFevre. Once your test has been scored and your level determined, you'll be able to look through the list of people who have signed up for tutoring. You may have to contact quite a few of them because some of the students forget to come back and take their name off the list when they no longer need a tutor for whatever reason."
"Thank you." Kurt walked into the room, sat at the computer and completed the test. Once he was finished, he let the secretary know.
"Just sit over there and wait a few minutes, Kurt. I have a few things to do, but I'll get everything ready as soon as I can."
He took a seat and waited for the Miss Burns to have time to talk to him. She motioned him over and handed him a binder. She put up four fingers. He opened it and took down a list of the names of students in levels 1-3 that were on the page. He figured that he would avoid taking any students that were in his fourth year class to make it easier on himself. He took down the names and phone numbers he needed and handed the binder back to her while she was still on the phone. She nodded and he went up to his room to see if any of the guys still needed a tutor.
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After he finished breakfast, Kurt walked to where Blaine was sitting and politely informed Blaine that he would no longer be able to go with him to get coffee after Warblers' rehearsals because he had taken a position as a French tutor.
His heart was still slightly aching, but the knowledge that he was meeting the advocate after school that afternoon helped him focus on learning. Learning was what was important. He kept reminding himself. And spending time with Trent at breakfast and lunch helped him realize that even as much of a freak as most of the Dalton students would think he is, there were maybe a few, who might find him interesting.
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After their impromptu performance of "Misery" for those who were in the hall near the Warbler's practice room, Blaine wasn't thrilled with Kurt's comment about "Blaine and the Pips", but it was true whether he liked it or not. He was singing lead on all three songs they had been working on. Not even a sham of an audition for other potential soloists or featured singers.
He figured the Warblers were used to have a single lead and just never bothered to really question it like a lot of the Dalton boys didn't question their future career paths.
He left the practice room and headed up to his room to leave Pavarotti and his schoolbooks there before going to the office to meet with the advocate.
He walked into the room, where his dad and the advocate were already seated, and introduced himself. "Good afternoon. I'm Kurt Hummel." He offered his hand.
Mrs. Huntington shook his hand. She was middle-aged, average build, with an olive complexion, piercing dark eyes, and long black hair pulled up in a chignon. "It's nice to meet you, Kurt. I'm Eleanor Huntington." Though she wasn't physically intimidating, she had a formidable presence that emanated an air of well-earned self-assuredness.
Kurt sat down across the table from her, next to his dad.
"I've looked through your files from here and McKinley. Sue Sylvester's report was quite informative. She was the acting principal at the time of the incident that caused you to withdraw and enroll here."
"That's correct," Kurt responded.
"I see no issues whatsoever with proceeding with your case. The school district will balk of course, but they have no legal foot to stand on. The fact that the school board overturned the expulsion of the student that had issued a death threat will make this pretty easy. I just need both of you to sign this form allowing me and the attorney in our office to pursue this matter on your behalf."
Burt asked, "So, let me get this straight before I sign. If I sign this, you and a lawyer are going to force McKinley to pay for Kurt to go to school here?"
"That is exactly what we will do."
Burt picked up the pen, signed his name, passed the form over to Kurt for him to sign, and then he slid the paper back across the table.
"Thank you, gentlemen. I'll call both of you if we need anything further from the two of you." Mrs. Huntington put all of the paperwork back into her briefcase and left the room.
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"How about the two of us go grab an early dinner somewhere before I head back to Lima?"
"Sounds great, Dad. Go pull the car up and I'll change as fast as I can. I really don't want to go out in this uniform.
Burt laughed. "Sure thing, kiddo. Just don't take all day deciding what to wear."
Kurt hugged him and practically ran to his room to change. He slipped on a pair of jeans, a sweater, and his coat and quickly headed right back down the stairs to meet Burt out front. He hopped in the passenger seat and shut his door. Burt drove toward the exit as Kurt buckled up.
"Where to?" Burt asked.
"I haven't been many places here. How about Chinese?"
"Sure thing, kiddo. Just tell me where to turn."
Kurt gave him directions. "So, if we get McKinley to pay this year's tuition, would there be any chance you'd be willing to use your refund and add it to whatever I can make this summer so that I could come back to Dalton next school year?"
Burt didn't answer right away. He found a place to park and opened his door. Kurt followed his lead and got out too. They went in the restaurant, ordered at the counter and took a seat at one of the tables.
"So, you don't want to come back to McKinley?"
"I don't know, Dad. I like being safe. I like attending classes with respectful students who learn and teachers who actually teach. I like learning."
"I know you do, bud. It's just hard having you away from home. I mean I knew I was going to lose you, but it came too early. I wasn't ready yet. Maybe I won't ever be ready. I'll really think about it. I mean of course the answer is yes, if you want to come back here, we'll figure out a way to make that happen. I just need to think about this more from your perspective. Things were worse at McKinley than you let on weren't they?"
"Yes and no. By the time all of the stuff with Karofsky started, the rest had really died down a lot. But yeah, things were bad, especially freshman year before New Directions started up. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I love it at Dalton. I don't. The other students are not all that welcoming of non-conformists. I don't hold a lot of the same political and societal beliefs that many of them do. They are not allowed to bully me because I disagree, but that doesn't make them want to be my friends. I'm tutoring people now. I'm working on making some new friends. I'm going to give it my best shot. But no, I don't feel an overwhelming sense of acceptance at Dalton. But safety and a high quality education are more important than having a lot of friends when, in all honestly, there's not a high likelihood of remaining friends with people from high school if I move away from Lima."
Their number was called. Kurt retrieved their food and took it back to the table. He and Burt ate as they continued to talk.
"This week, the juniors started a seminar on college and career preparation. The class will teach us about applying to college, how to find grants and scholarships, and everything we need to know. McKinley doesn't offer anything like that. The guidance counselor at Dalton is a licensed psychologist. He's really helpful and easy to talk to. Miss Pillsbury is kind and tries hard, but she's a little too neurotic to be of any real help. She has 100 pamphlets, which can be useful, but she seems to have no real life experience."
"You see the school's psychologist?"
"It was part of my enrollment requirements. When I was admitted late in the term for the death threat, one of my requirements was to attend weekly counseling sessions to help me deal with the trauma and help me cope with everything. The other was that I had to join two extracurricular activities."
"And you find it helpful?"
"I do. That's how I found out about the advocate. Mr. Adams told me about how it worked."
"Alright. I never figured you for the type that would open up to a counselor."
"It was never a requirement to stay some place safe before. I can't be completely uncooperative if I want to stay. At first, I balked and didn't really say much, but eventually I got used to it. He's nice and he's a good listener. Sometimes I still balk and don't say much. Opening up is hard, but I'm trying."
"Well, I'm glad you have someone who can help you. Do you at least like being in the singing group here?"
"It's fine. I don't get a chance to sing solos ever, but the overall dynamic is less adversarial? More regulated? I'm not really sure how to describe it. Wes rules with his gavel. Next year will possibly be more fun with Wes graduating this year. If the new council is less rigid, then it might be more fun."
"How about that Blaine kid? You and him still friends?"
"Not really, Dad. I've eliminated Rachel from my friends list as well. That's another thing that would make going back to McKinley hard. I thought that she and I had come to an understanding and that our understanding had led us toward friendship. But due to her behavior last week, I've realized that the only person Rachel cares about is herself. Now, that Blaine has decided that he is actually gay, don't be surprised if Rachel turns her romantic gaze back on Finn."
"What do you mean?"
"Finn broke up with her for a reason – a good one. But Finn broke Sam and Quinn up by cheating with Quinn. Now, it's been long enough the battle for Finn will begin anew. Quinn has had him for a few months and that will just make Rachel want him all the more, especially since Blaine decided he was gay. Please consider putting Finn in therapy. Those two girls have made a mess of his mind. Think how many times the two of them have jerked him around. Finn has his faults, but he really deserves a girlfriend that respects him and isn't just using his social status at school to boost their own egos. Quinn wants to run with Finn for Prom King and Queen. I just know it. I'm not even there and I know it. Get him some help. It's surprising how helpful it can be to talk to an adult who has no authority to ground you or punish you."
"I'll see what I can do. So, no more Blaine?"
"Nope. I need a break from him. Of course, he's in the Warblers, so I still see him four days a week after school. But no more coffee dates, no more movies together, at least not for a long while. I need time to decide whether I can build a real friendship with him. I'll be fine. I'm not in love with him. I'm mostly aggravated with myself for letting myself be strung along for so long. Live and learn, right?"
"Right. That's a very mature attitude. Wait, back to what you said a few minutes ago. Sam and Quinn were dating and Quinn cheated on Sam with Finn?"
"Yes. Sam and Quinn had been dating since mid-October, so for a couple of months or so before she cheated on him. No less than that, 6 weeks or so. Rachel cheated on him with Puck in retaliation for something from last year and he broke up with her. Then he cheated with Quinn while she was seeing Sam."
"I think you're right about the counseling. That boy needs to get his head on straight. Quinn cheated on him with Puck. Now she's cheated with Finn on Sam. What's next? She cheats with another jock and breaks Finn's heart again?"
"More likely, Rachel will seduce him again and he'll cheat with Rachel on Quinn just like he did back in sophomore year."
"The whole thing sounds like a damn soap opera."
"It is. I mean think how long it took Quinn to tell Finn the truth about who the baby's father was. I know people grow up and change, but she dated Sam for not even a couple of months and then she cheated on him with Finn. Obviously, she hasn't really grown up. I wish Finn would date some other reasonably nice girl. There's a bunch of Cheerios that would gladly date him, I'm sure."
"I'm sure."
"Don't tell Finn that you know about him cheating with Quinn. He'll know you got the information from me."
"I won't. I'm going to sit him down for 'The Talk.'"
"That ship has sailed, Dad."
"What?"
"No more info from me. He'll know for sure you got the info from me, if I tell you anything else. But giving him the 'You matter' speech might a good idea before he ends up in bed with Quinn."
"Well, this has been a surprisingly enlightening dinner providing me with all sorts of things I didn't want to know. Being a dad is hard."
By then, both of them had finished eating. Burt left a tip and they left. As they drove back toward Dalton, they continued to talk.
"You're doing a good job. Look on the bright side, at least I won't be calling you up and telling you my boyfriend is pregnant." Kurt laughed.
"Very funny."
"I thought so."
"You don't actually HAVE a boyfriend, right?"
"Nope. No boyfriend, but by the time I do, I hope you've gotten over your issue with 'my potentially inappropriate' behavior."
"What do you mean?"
They pulled into the school drive.
"Pull over there into the visitor's lot for a few minutes."
Now's my chance to get him to understand.
"I mean that by the time I find a guy I really like who likes me back, I hope that you will have realized that anything you might deem 'inappropriate' most of Lima will probably consider criminal and I hope that by then you will lift your nonsensical ban on male guests in my room."
"Why would I do that?"
"Dad, really think about it. What did you do in high school? Did you ever go 'parking' or whatever it was called? You know – sitting in the back seat of a car making out with girls…"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Where can I do that?" Nowhere.
"Oh."
"Yeah. If you ban me from making out with my boyfriend in the privacy of my room, you're banning me from ever making out. He and I will have to drive out of town and rent a hotel room just to cuddle and kiss."
"I'll think about it. It somehow has to be fair. I don't let Finn have girls over in his room."
"Well, for one thing Finn was dumb enough to believe that he had gotten Quinn pregnant when they had never had sex. And secondly, Finn can get his girlfriend pregnant. And lastly, Finn can kiss his girlfriend right in the middle of the hallway or in a classroom at school, in the front or backseat of his car, while walking down the sidewalk anywhere in Lima, in the middle of the mall, on a bench at the park – pretty much anywhere. On the other hand, I know how girls get pregnant, and since I am not interested in girls, I won't be getting one pregnant, and I can't kiss a boy any of those places that I just mentioned. So, life isn't fair."
"I get it."
"The most important reason you need to change your stance is because you made me feel like crap when you called me potentially being intimate with a guy 'inappropriate'. I would never, ever take advantage of someone who was drunk. I am not a predator. What would have been inappropriate would have been for me to leave him at Rachel's sleeping on the platform in her basement with no one to take care of him if he threw up in his sleep. It would have been inappropriate to leave him to sleep it off in the backseat of the Navigator. I did the appropriate thing, which was to stay sober. I took care of a human being that was incapable of taking care of himself. I slept in the chair in my room. We put him in my bed face down so if he threw up he wouldn't choke on it."
"It's not easy for a parent to think of their child in that way. But you're right. I need to get over myself. You'll be 18 in less than three months. I have no reason to behave so overprotectively. I'm sorry about the 'inappropriate' statement. The whole situation was a mess."
"I agree, but I'm not really able to control what someone else does. I just kept him from potentially dying in his sleep or making even worse drunken decisions than French kissing Rachel Berry. If I had left him with her with them both drunk out of their minds – a lot more inappropriate things could have happened. Think about Quinn and Puck. Him sleeping in my bed fully clothed doesn't even come close to inappropriate if you really think about it."
"And you're not interested in him anymore?"
"Nope. I told him I liked him. I gave him a chance to act on that. He blew it big time. He chose to go out on a date with Rachel. Remember you told me that I matter?"
Burt nodded.
"This is me reminding myself that I matter. He had two and a half months of me just waiting for him. If he's still searching that's fine. It really is. I mean I knew for certain that I was gay and I dated Brittany that week. I just wanted to fit in. I wanted you to like me better. I understand that desire to be 'normal'. But I'm done waiting around on the shelf until he runs out of other options."
"Good for you."
"I let it go after Valentine's Day, but Rachel's party and their date was the final blow. It still hurts a little because rejection always does, but mostly I'm just aggravated at myself at this point. I should have let it go back before winter break. I was so new to the whole idea of dating that I didn't make myself ask the right questions. I just let myself misinterpret someone's actions." Over and over and over again.
"I know it still stings right now. But when you find the right person, you'll realize what you would have given up by staying with the wrong person."
"Thanks, Dad."
"I'll work on the revised house rules. It will probably require a family meeting after dinner this Friday or maybe next Friday depending on when I have the time to sit down and talk to Carole."
"That's fine. I'm willing to defend my point of view and hear Finn's side. Maybe he's willing to grow up enough to really listen. We'll see I guess. Thanks for dinner tonight. Sorry you had to drive all the way over here just to sign that paper. But she insisted on seeing you in person for the first visit."
"If she can get the school to pay, that would be great. And I got to spend time with you, so it's all good."
"I better get inside and get busy. I actually have quite a bit of homework to do tonight."
"See ya tomorrow, kiddo."
"Bye, Dad."
Kurt opened the door and headed into the building and up to his room.