Chapter 1: Hurt

Numbness.

That was what Sam felt inside. Even after fighting off the dead in that cemetery and gaining a couple of scratches and bruises (along with the shot to his shoulder), he still felt numb. Perhaps Sam was in a state of shock. He witnessed Jack, the child he never had, die right in front of him. There was nothing he could have done to stop Chuck from attacking the barely two-year-old kid. Sam's heart was shredded into more pieces when he saw Castiel try to heal and comfort Jack in his last moments. Bless the angel for even actively trying to do something to help Jack because there was nothing for Sam to possibly do to protect him.

Sam took a deep breath as Dean patched up his shoulder. They were back at the bunker with Jack's body in the back of Castiel's truck. Neither of the boys wanted to leave Jack there so they gently picked up their son's body and laid him carefully in the back of the pickup.

Not that we had to be careful anyways, the boy was already gone. Sam had shut his eyes tightly and tried to concentrate on something else but all that came to mind was seeing Jack's burnt out eyes and the shadow of his wings scorched to the ground. I couldn't even take care of the kid. I lied to his face... Sam shook his head as if that would help get rid of his negative thoughts.

When Sam opened his eyes, he discovered Dean was gone and his shoulder was all covered up. He hadn't noticed when his brother was finished or how much time had passed with Sam just sitting there alone with his feelings. He got up from the chair to search for Dean. They had a lot to discuss what to do next.

Walking past the kitchen, Sam noticed he didn't have to search for long. He took a couple of steps back before standing in the threshold of the kitchen. Dean was sitting at the table with his hand cupped around a glass of alcohol. As Sam walked closer, Dean poured extra liquor into the glass before sliding it down the table to where Sam was now seated. Sam took a sip as he observed Dean drink from the bottle.

"Where's Cas?" Sam questioned.

"Said he's setting up for..." Dean paused for a moment as he stared at the bottle in his hands.

Sam nodded his head. He forgot Cas hadn't enter the bunker with them because the angel offered to gather the wood they needed to make the pyre since he was the least hurt out of the three of them (Sam couldn't chop the wood because his shoulder was messed up and Dean ended up the worst with wounds on his arms, shoulders, and head). Sam wished he was out there with Castiel to keep an eye out for him. He was worried about how his friend was doing at the moment. If Sam felt enraged with himself for not helping Jack, he couldn't begin to imagine how Castiel was feeling towards himself.

Sam studied his sibling sitting across from him. Dean wore tired eyes. He saw his brother depressed a lot during their time together but it was different this time. Sam couldn't explain it but it terrified him whenever he saw his brother like that. Sam stared at the long thin shallow cut on the side of Dean's left face. It ran from his forehead to the side of his bottom lip - lips that were cut open and had swollen just a bit. He had random cuts and abrasions on his nose, around his right eye, and chin. Sam's eyes trailed down to Dean's bloodied hands. The blood was already dried and for the life of Sam he couldn't figure out if the blood was from Dean's split knuckles or if the blood belonged to the dead they stopped. Sam could also see the blemishes that were peeking out from under Dean's jacket on his arms.

Taking in his brother's injuries reminded Sam of the physical pain he was starting to feel again, mostly in his shoulder and the aches he felt on his back. He knew he had bruises still forming all over his body, which meant tomorrow he would be feeling the worst of it.

"What are we going to do, Dean? About Chuck, how are we going to stop him?" Sam watched as his brother's face went from broken to neutral.

"Like we always do, Sammy. We'll research and we'll find a way." Dean stated, but Sam knew his brother well enough. Dean didn't believe in the words he was saying.

"Yeah," Sam murmured as he stared at his half-empty glass of alcohol. He wanted to down it in one gulp but at the same time, he didn't feel like drinking his problems away temporarily. At least not yet. He still had to get himself through Jack's funeral and he wanted to be sober for that. Maybe after he could drink his heartache away, but for now he needed to remain steady.

...***...***...***...

Dean watched on as Sam got up from his seat and left the kitchen. He looked across the table to Sam's barely untouched glass of whiskey. He knew his brother left to go get cleaned up for later tonight and would not be returning to drink his glass. Dean couldn't let it go to waste. He set the empty bottle down and reached forward for the cup.

"Is it wise to drink that?" A deep voice spoke from the doorway.

Dean rolled his eyes at Cas. He snatched the glass and quickly downed it in one go as he scowled at his friend. Who was Cas to tell him what to do? Setting the glass back down, Dean responded, "Is it wise to be talking to me right now?"

Cas shook his head as he countered, "I just meant that you have a past with drinking-"

Dean cut off Cas as he blurted out, "You wanna point out my flaws? I'm literally in the presence of the infamous Angel of Mistakes." Dean briefly closed his eyes as he cursed to himself. He knew he was slightly irritated at Cas for reasons he knew were invalid, but he realized he shouldn't be ganging up on the angel. He had lost someone, too. They had both cared for Jack as if he was their son - Dean certainly knew Sam did, too. Jack was family and whenever they lost one of their own, the surviving ones couldn't afford to hold grudges with each other.

"Cas, I'm sorry..." Dean started to say but soon stopped. He didn't know how to continue. He understood he should apologize for his outburst a moment ago, but since he was apologizing should he discuss blaming Cas for his mother's death? Should he mention that he was sorry about accusing Cas of not warning them about Jack sooner? Should he bring up every little thing the past ten years he had blamed Cas for something that wasn't solely the angel's fault? Dean wouldn't have the time to apologize for every single incident that ever happened between them both.

Cas held up his hand as if to wave Dean's half-ass apology away. "I know you're not you right now. We're all still processing what happened. I just came in to inform you and Sam that everything's ready."

Dean nodded his head as he offered his friend a genuine half smile. Even that slight movement had hurt the hunter because of his cut up lip. Now that he was focused on the pain, he was becoming more aware of the other injuries that were making themselves known all over his body. They didn't bother him before because he was concerned about treating Sam first but now that he was starting to concentrate on himself, Dean was hurt all over. The left side of his face stung and his lips were throbbing and his knuckles radiated the worst pain to his hands and his arms and legs felt like someone took a bat to them. Yup, tomorrow was definitely going to be a bitch to get through.

Author's Note: I've been wanting to write the plot for this story for a while now but didn't have any inspiration until Season 14's finale. Please leave a review to tell me what you think so far and I will post the next chapter soon!