I never deserved him, I knew it the first time our lips moved in perfect harmony. He was too perfect. And I was just me. A freak pyromaniac that blew anything and everything up.

Yet he always said he didn't deserve me. How he was able to think that I never understood.

Knock knock knock

"Dei…you in there?

Konan, the only one who ever found out about us. She'd walked in once. His perfect lips engulfing mine. His tender hand wandering across my stomach, chest and hips. His other tangled in my sun-kissed hair.

I'd never feel it again. And of it. His perfect lips, his wondrous touch that left my skin burning for more. His body pressed against mine. It's all gone…shattered.

"Dei…your in there, I know it. You need to eat." I knew I wasn't any good for him. Even my name was an omen. Dei…die. So fitting. If only I hadn't been so selfish! I could have been there to help him. To blow that old bag and bubble-gum haired bitch apart. Or to have taken the sword myself.

Instead I got into another fight with him. No I can never say sorry. All Because I had to get the Kyuubi myself. To prove that damned Uchiha weasel wrong. Because I had to be stubborn! I just-

A flutter of paper from underneath the door. Konan must be really worried if she's forcing herself in…What would she think of me? Surely I looked like shit. I haven't moved form our cold bed since I god back. How long ago had that been anyway?

"Oh Deidara!" I turned my face to look at her. She looked back, taking in my form with wide, sorrowful, and worried eyes. For the first time in hours, days, however long I'd holed myself up, I checked myself over.

In Danna's hitai-ate, I could see my puffy, bloodshot eyes. They were dull, with no hope, happiness, joy…anything. Nothing but emptiness. Eyes truly were a window to the soul, with him Danna took my very being. I only existed physically.

I smacked my sore, chapped, pale lips together. My mouth filling with the metallic taste of blood as they cracked.

My hair was dirty, tangled and dull. It's luster lost under the grim. My fishnet shirt had scabs around the area I'd had my arms sown on. More pain was to come, the healing skin had even grown around the fishnet. My pants were fine, just a day or two old. More tears burned my eyes as I though of what Danna would say.

"Get yourself together brat. You'll get over it, sulking isn't going to do any good."

"But Danna!" I'd say through tears, "I-I'm not s-s-sulking!"

"Oh?" He'd raise one delicate eyebrow cutely. I'd nod.

"It's mourning!" He'd shake his head, perfect main of red hair tossing around.

"Deidara, you need to eat." Konan had walked over to the corner of our…now my…no, our bed. I shook my head no. The idea of eating made me feel even more sick. Her eyes softened and she began to thread her slender fingers through my disgusting hair. The hole in my chest grew as I recalled when Danna would run his fingers the same way she did now.

Would nothing not remind me of the scorpion?

"Dei…please? At least take a shower." The blue haired woman's voice was motherly. I curled myself into a ball as the dark abyss in my chest grew even more. If it got any larger it would swallow my stomach.

"Dei I know you loved him, but-"

"No." I couldn't hold it in. My throat was tight and dry, my voice quiet and hoarse. Konan gave me a questioning look. Trying, and failing to hide the relief that I'd responded.

"I did not loved him, I love him." My voice wavered as I spoke of him. But it was true, I still love him, and that wasn't going to change.

Her eyes softened again.

"I know you love him Dei, but this isn't good for you. Sasori-"his name ripped through my shattered heart like wild fire, burning my insides and keeping me alive. Konan must have sensed this and instantaneously silenced.

All because of this organization. It all was. All because of the damned organization Sasori was gone. I wasn't aloud to blow things to bits,.

That was it! My art!

Strength that I long since thought to have left surged through my veins. I jolted upright, startling Konan. Looking around I found a towel, I wasn't doing this half-way.

I can't believe I didn't realize this before! It was so obvious! Quickly I lathered strawberry shampoo through my hair, wincing as the soap stung cuts left from my nails.

After the shower, I peel the fishnet off. I'd just left it on during the shower, so some of the scabs come off. Peeling fishnet form your skin was not a comforting feeling. However, I was so happy for what laid ahead I barely felt it.

After throwing my hair up in its ponytail, and applying a thin line of eyeliner, I ran out of the bathroom. Quickly using the rest of my clay I made a few birds, flowers, and one magnificent scorpion.

"Deidara…what's going on?" Konan sat there her question gaze following me. This time I could speak with no tears, no remorse. I looked her straight in the eye.

"Sasori-Danna took my heart and soul un." She eyed him, a partial glimmer of understanding in her eye.

"You mean…?"She trailed off. I said nothing. I merely gave her two clay flowers.

"You're the only one who will do this for me. Put Danna's puppets in a safe place, and one flower with them. The other flower, you that on a foe." My sadistic grin spread across my face as I thought of the final art.

Konan flashed me a grace smile. I smiled back. The dark hole in my chest filled with hope. No longer would I grieve.

At least she was trustful. The only one in this damned organization. One tear rolled down her smooth cheeks. She gripped me in a hug, like a mother would a child.

"I'll miss you." Her voice was quiet and airy. A grave smile flashed again, before she shook her head.

"come on, if Leader finds out, you'll never get out of here." Grabbing my wrist, she pulled me to the door.

Oh I couldn't wait to feel the freedom of flight again. The wind blowing through my hair, on my face. My clothes billowing in the wind. Riding on artistic winds no one but I would ever ride. Absolute freedom.

We made it out of the cave no problem, until we reached the outside world.

"Where are you two going?" Ringed eyes gazed on us. My heart fluttering like a hyperventilating bird's. We were caught! I couldn't go now! Konan's eyes hardened.

"Pein." So that was his name…"Let us through." Said man's eyes narrowed. Suspicion was exposed clearly.

"Why?" An uncomfortable silence ensued. The two seemed to be a having a contest of who would remain silent for the longer period of time.
Apparently I'd adapted Danna's impatience. I poked her arm. She glanced over at me before sighing.

"Pein, Deidara wants to leave." Pein blinked, his gaze still questioning.

"Sasori's gone Pein, how would you be if I was?" The effect was immediate. His breath caught in his throat, his body going rigid. He stiffly walked towards us, his arms wrapping around Konan.

Pein and Konan were together? That was unexpected…

"Pein, Deidara." Konan smiled as Pein glanced over at me, eyes curious. Since when was he so affectionate? Since when was he so…open? Not at all like the panic inducing man at the meetings…

"You and Sasori…?" I stared at him dumbly until I realized this may be the only way free.

"Hai un." His eyes grew understanding. Finally releasing his blue haired flower, he stepped aside. Giving him a grateful smirk, I expanded a bird.

"Bye un." The two nodded solemnly as I took off. The flight was short, but elating all the same. I thought that it would be hard to do this, but it really wasn't. I'd leave great scars in the Earth, like no one ever before.

And I'd be with Danna forever. I flew over the clearing where we'd revealed our love for each other, and later where we claimed the other ours.

Hovering in the air I took off my cloak. A slight shiver traveled down my spine as the cool air brushed my skin. I slid my mesh shirt off, exposing the mouth adorning my chest.

Wincing, I pulled the stitching away, my mouth bursting open for the first time in years.

Looking up at the silver orb in the sky, I wondered how many times did the giant rock see someone commit this.

Taking the scorpion, I allowed my chest mouth to eat it. Instantaneously my chakra swarmed to my center. The empty chakra veins rising to the surface of my skin.

The last things I ever felt, was the cool caress of the wind, like Danna's touch, before my flesh burned and melted into oblivion. The last things I ever tasted was oak, as if I was kissing Danna, and the sharp taste of smoke, clay, burning skin and clothes. The last things I ever smelt was the sweet wood of him, along with burning hair. The last things I ever saw was the red, yellow, orange, and black of my art expanding in all directions of me. The last thing I ever heard was my voice calling,

"ART IS A BLAST UN!" And the deafening boom.

There was a flash of black, before fiery red hair entered my vision. Ash-rose eyes met my stormy blue.

"Deidara."

"Danna."

And his kiss.