Disclaimer: can take credit for characters all hers.

It wasn't loosing a patient, Callie had lost patients before. She'd even lost lovers before but Erica, Erica was everything and she had gone. Callie had let her go and now, now a poor man was left dead in the OR because what she did wasn't enough anymore, she was no longer self contained and in her zone within the OR the patient had died because of other doctors. Erica had left her because of other doctors, because Callie had let there work cross into there love and she was gone, and now she was there crying over a dead body with marks had touching her when all she wanted was Erica.

'I … I don't do this, I do sex… I'm your friend but … you need… you need to get away from this, from me, from everything, listen I'll sort it all, go visit Addison. She, she's dealt with stuff like this and she's your friend your good friend. Just take some time'

Mark signed at the thought of the man he'd become, he'd call Addison but leave it to Callie to fill in the blanks when she wanted to. Besides save him having to explain it all to Addison.

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That's how Callie ended up here, LA standing outside Addison's door. She reached up swallowing her last chance to turn and run and pressed the bell.

Addison was at the door almost immediately dressed to go.

'Callie? Oh shit Callie!' Addison hesitated, pushing further the feeling for the need of flight into Callie's legs. Callie turned on her heel bag in had before being grabbed.

'sorry, sorry, I didn't think you would be here so soon, I've just been called for a surgery there head of paediatrics has got flue and the baby's are well compromised enough she cant…' Addison caught her breath as relief washed over Callie's face … thank god that basted Sloan didn't fuck it up and forget to 'sort it'.

Addison smiled she new this surgery was gonna be a good one that any doctor would die to see 'listen Callie,' she smiled 'come you can observe, we have conjoined twins 2 weeks old were separating organs and getting donor organs in from a baby who just died in Arizona'

Callie let her car keys jingle in front of Addison's face, she could do with a good surgery right now even if she was only watching.

They were a few hours into surgery getting ready to separate the baby's when the helicopter arrived everyone was holding there breath. The organs where rushed down to the OR and brought through and handed to the team. 'are we ready to go?'

'Dr Hahn, I thought you where in Seattle? I didn't know you where acting courier?'

'like I'd trust a courier with this' Erica's head snapped round 'Addison!' Callie's stomach plummeted as those deep blue eyes flicked up to the observation platform and found her. I am going to kill mark

Callie watched almost in slow motion as Addison's eyes connected the dots and the blood visibly drained from Erica's face as everyone else buzzed around prepping the organs.

'Erica' Addison was the first to speak but was quickly cut off with a deathly stair.

'right now, right here I am Dr Hahn' and with that she turned her back on the observation deck, she was right she was Dr Hahn, a true doctor was a doctor in the OR no matter what. And yet Callie had lost that, Callie was a doctor but since, since everything that happened she couldn't just become Dr Torres, its like Dr Torres had walked out on her side by side with Erica the same look of discussed mirrored in herself. But not Erica she was fine, she was great she had left Callie and she was fine! So much for glasses!

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will publish more - please review this is my first ever atempt at fan fic