Feliciano's feelings about the Italian Unification. Over used theme, I know, but fun to write nonetheless. XD I hope this isn't too terrible and you enjoy it c:
Feliciano sat drumming his fingers lightly on a chestnut desk. He gazed idly around the room, too anxious to be bored. His stomach twisted and turned into a million different knots and the palms of his hands were beginning to sweat. Feliciano wasn't quite sure why he felt this way—the cause of his worry wasn't even in the room yet.
He wasn't sure how long it had been since he had last seen his brother. Several years, at the least, several very long, very hard years of being alone. He knew that he didn't always get along with his brother—but Feliciano loved Lovino and missed him very much, part of him was very excited for this unification.
The other part was scared.
Was this really for the best? Nothing like this had ever been done before, and that fact alone frightened Feliciano. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was meddling with something that could be extremely dangerous here. There were so many ways that the unification could end badly- but Feliciano's boss insisted. He said it was for the greater good. And Feliciano believed him, simply because he didn't know what else to believe at this point. He prayed—and that's something that Feliciano doesn't do nearly as often as he knows he should. He prayed for Lovino, and prayed that everything would turn out just fine.
He didn't have to wait for much longer. Feliciano stood up the very instant the two ornate wooden doors swung up, his heart pounded frantically against his ribcage and a smile rose to his lips despite himself. His brother strode in just as proud as he had always looked, and warmth spread through Feliciano's chest. He felt his throat grow tighter with the threat of tears, and he opened his mouth to say Lovino's name but no words came out.
Lovino said nothing; he stared forward at Feliciano, his eyes set in a stony glare. Feliciano shrunk back, his fear and worry suddenly coming back even stronger than it had before. Feliciano's eyes darted downward towards the floor; his gaze landing on Lovino's scuffed and worn down boots. Feliciano frowned, and his gaze carried him further. Biting his lip; Feliciano began to realize just what sort of state his brother had been living in. Feliciano knew that conditions in the south were bad… but were they really that bad? Lovino's pants were tattered and dirty, patched haphazardly with whatever scraps of cloth he could get a hold of. His shirt was in worse condition, Feliciano didn't know if the faded stains on his brother's sleeves were blood or not.
Feliciano's mouth felt dry as he tried to swallow the lump that had formed in the back of his throat. He looked down at his own expensive, nicely pressed suit and felt a stab of guilt through his heart.
Feliciano looked back up at his brother and tried to swallow again. He blinked heavily; tears stinging in his eyes. Lovino kept the same cold, hard glare. Never moving. Never speaking. Feliciano wished that Lovino would at least say something. Scream, yell, hit something, anything.
He cleared his throat lightly and peered across the table at his brother—his brother whom he loved so dearly, his brother who now looked at him as if he were a stranger—and tried to speak again.
"L-Lovino…?" Feliciano's voice was much weaker than he had intended, he paused, waiting for his brother to respond. Lovino blinked, his lips parted ever so slightly, but no sound came out.
"Lovino… Lovino please d-don't be angry…"
Feliciano knew he wouldn't be able to continue this for much longer. His chest felt tight; it was hard to breathe; his hands were shaking. Feliciano straightened his back and took a deep breath. Averting his eyes and blinking away the tears that threatened to spill. He fixed his attention intently on the brightly colored tapestry—how long had that been there? He had never noticed it before now—that hung on the cream colored walls.
Feliciano started crying.
It was nearly silent, aside from his squeaking hiccoughs, and he stubbornly refused to look at Lovino. The colors in the tapestry all began to blur together, he could feel the tears sliding down his face, dripping down and spilling onto his suit. That stupid, stupid suit. How could he have been so selfish when his brother looked like he had been struggling with all he had to cling to life?
He rubbed roughly at his eyes, still hiccoughing and sobbing. He brought one hand up to his face and covered his eyes. His shoulders began to shake, and still his brother remained unmoving. Feliciano whirled back around, his hands suddenly clenched into fists at his sides.
"Say something, Lovino! Say anything!" He felt himself slowly begin to crack.
"Please! Lovino say anything! Tell me you're angry! Tell me you hate me! Please I just need to you say something I can't take this!" Feliciano's voice cracked, but he continued. "I know you-re a-angry but I need to you to speak to me right now because I love you and I missed you a-and when you just stand there like that I-I don't feel like your brother a-and I need you, Lovino! I need you!"
Trembling and breathing heavily, Feliciano stood with his gaze locked on Lovino's.
The room was silent.
It was Lovino who finally spoke up again, speaking for the first time Feliciano had heard him speak in years.
"Feliciano…"
Feliciano gasped, slightly startled. He was starting to think that he would never hear Lovino speak again, he was starting to think that his brother had forgotten how to love him, he was starting to think—
"Feliciano. Things aren't going to be the same anymore. So listen up. And don't make this any harder than it already is, alright?"
Eyes wide and blinking, he nodded. Feliciano was hanging off of Lovino's every word, desperate for his brother to speak more. Maybe this meant that Lovino didn't hate him and they could go back to being brothers, to the way things were before…
"I'm not going to be around much longer."
Feliciano's brow furrowed and his lip quivered. "What… what… I don't understand. Why aren't you going to be around? We're both Italy now, so I don't understand…"
"Stop playing dumb." Lovino's voice was rough with the emotions he was trying to hide. He paused to swallow and blinked before carrying on.
"We're both Italy now, so I don't understand! I'm not being dumb, Lovino!" Feliciano's voice rose in pitch along with his distress.
"There can only be one Italy at a time, Feliciano!" Lovino's voice rose as Feliciano's did, his frustration rising to the surface and spilling over. "We can't have this unification without one of us dying! A-and you're my b-brother, so—" Taking a step backward, Lovino cut himself off. He stood there for a moment, jaw working but no sound coming out and that's when Feliciano finally understood what this unification meant.
It meant that Lovino was going to die.
"No… no, Lovino, n-no…"
It was too late. Nothing could be changed now.
"W-why didn't you tell me, Lovino! Why didn't you tell me!"
Lovino was leaving—leaving Feliciano standing there. Lovino turned his back and left.
And Feliciano prayed.