Hey everyone!

This is my first story on Fanfiction.
As you might notice in the story below, i am not a native speaker.
I can certainly write better in german, so if anyone wants to read my german storys, don't hesitate to message me :). It would really help me improve and learn, if you would tell me if I made like really terrible mistakes. I would be really grateful.

Hope you enjoy it.

'till then

So many good things I have told
But still I am too cold
Maybe I'll get better when I grow older
But it could be, that I get even colder
Never be able to love, to feel
My heart locked with a thick seal
No one knows what goes on inside me
They only see what they want me to be
My whole life has been a lie
Maybe it would be better for everyone if I could just die
Leave this world like a small fly
Forget all the friendships I was supposed to tie
Laughing at death with a mere smile
Hoping to get a better life meanwhile
In my last seconds looking at the many little scars
Shaped on my arms like iron bars
I don't want to go through tomorrow
I can't stand all the sorrow
I'm lost in this ever going mace
No one knows what comes next
It isn't written in a book or a text
I don't know if should better turn left or right
No matter which, for me it will always be night
Life is like a game
Sometimes funny, interesting or just lame
When I think about my life I get sick
What would have been if I hadn't been a dick
But I guess it's late now
So many hopeless dreams wash over me
From things that will never be
let mercy wash away what I've done
let it take away the agony
I would like to say goodbye, earth, and goodbye
You've just been a big excuse of a lie

The loud crack of her broken arm echoed through the school hallway as she touched the hard ground. A loud scream escaped from her mouth and she only heard the loud laughter of the boy in her pain. The boy, the cause for her agony. The girl was crying uncontrollably and tears smeared her flushed face. A teacher peeked into the corridor, from her classroom and then ran towards them, concerned about the fallen girl. The petite young child with her 6 years buried her face in the clothes of the elementary school teacher and hid from the boy.

The girl pressed her father's hand and waited. Everything around them confused her. It was bright and empty. The corridor with the many doors and rooms were white. Several women walked past the adult and the girl. They pressed a clipboard to their chest, dressed in pink, blue, sometimes in white coats. A young woman stopped in front of them, put on a friendly smile. She congratulated and said something about a boy. The girl saw her father relaxing and rise. The man leaned over to her and told her that her brother was there. The girl was beaming with joy and jumped to her feet. 8 years she was and got a second baby brother.

She quickly typed a message on her cell phone and sent it to her best friend. Her mother called for the 14 year old girls. Annoyed, she got up and trotted down the stairs. Her two brothers were sitting at the dining table and pushed their eggs and bacon in their mouth. Her mother made coffee and put a plate loaded with food in front of them. The girl laughed loudly as her father lovingly poked her in the side. Hungry she bit into the food and devoured everything within moments. Her father began to make jokes and they all laughed merrily, though his jokes were hardly funny. The girl's eyes were watering with laughter and she blushed. Her little six year old brother threw a piece of bread to her and it smacked the girl in the face. Again all of them began to laugh.

A few days ago the girl turned 17, almost grown up. Everyone had been happy and content, as it should be for a perfect family. Now she anxiously sat on the couch in the living room, her 9 year old brother to her feet, and her 15-year-old brother beside her. The TV showed a movie that the three didn't even notice. The siblings were all quiet, no one said a word. The youth kept the house phone in her hand, expecting a call every moment now. For some reason, she had a bad feeling. Where were her parents? They had never been late without a notice, especially not so many hours. The clock ticked and ticked on and on. The girl looked up. It was already 1 o'clock in the morning. Where were they? Suddenly the door bell rang and the girl jumped to her feet startled. The phone slipped from her hand and hit the ground. Relieved, she went to the door and pulled it open to hug her parents, and bombard them with questions of their delay. Her brothers were on her heels. Her heart skipped a beat and she gasped for air. Not their parents stood in front of the door, but the police. Two guards stood in the dark. The police asked for admission, and trembling the girl let them enter. She led them to the living room and sat down on the couch. The oldest sister sent the younger away, but of course the guys didn't obey. The men looked at each other a little sad and told of their parents, who had been in an accident. Both died at the scene. The girl stared straight ahead. She heard and saw nothing. She only felt her heart racing and the sound of her blood. Far away she heard the crying of her little brother. The sudden embrace of the child woke her out of her trance, and she burst into tears.

Previously numbed by adrenaline pain came back and beat her out of her thoughts. All her life, her childhood had gone on again before her eyes. The beautiful and the terrible memories. The girl could hardly breathe and she choked on her own blood. She turned to the side with pain so as not to suffocate. The injured choked and spat and the floor in front of her mouth turned red. Trembling, she put a hand on her stomach and held it up to her eyes afterwards. The hand was covered with blood, as if she had put her hand in a bucket of paint. The girl's hair stuck together and were disgustingly filthy with dust and dried blood. The youth saw a body lying on the ground. She gasped and dragged herself to the child's body. Suddenly she was grabbed by the feet and pulled back. The girl was brutally turned to her back and one of her broken ribs pierced deep into their lungs. She screamed and the figure above hit her with a large stone. The girls vision turned black and life slowly left her.