Not Ready
Summary: Yeul had always faced her fate with resolution and expectance, but never readiness.
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy XIII-2, characters, and any familiar dialogue (such as Yeul's dying statement in Noel's memory/dream) belongs to Square Enix.
Yeul sat on the rock just off to the side. Here the sun was dimmer. Everything looked so grey and dead. Then again, she supposed it was. It's the end of the world. Noel Kreiss, her best friend, and Caius Ballad, her lifetime guardian, were the only other people left in this world. Soon, there would only be two. Yeul could feel her death creeping on her. A grunt of pain brought her from her thoughts. Her green eyes slid back into focus. Caius had landed a hit on Noel. Her heart jumped into her throat. She sat up a little straighter and peered closer. Noel had a small cut on his side from Caius' "gentle" hit. Caius' purple eyes darted over to her at the sudden movement. Yeul smiled gently at her protector in an attempt to convey that she was fine. Caius reluctantly turned his eyes back to the mock battle going on in front of him.
Yeul let her eyes travel to Noel. Noel-her best friend, the man in love with her-glanced over at her now. She clasped her hands in front of her chest as Caius took advantage of his distraction. She closed her eyes despite knowing Caius wouldn't hurt him right now. Noel wasn't ready. Still, the knowledge did little to ease her worry over him. She knew that Noel would have to kill Caius to replace him as her guardian. Yeul felt the familiar sting of tears. Her eyes returned to Caius who stood ready for whatever attack Noel threw his way. She swallowed.
'I don't want him to die…' She shook her head as she thought it. 'But I don't want him to be miserable either…' She thought sadly. She hated herself. She knew that death would set him free. He had been her guardian for over 500 lifetimes. He had been her guardian since her first passing. He deserved a replacement. The only one that could replace him was Noel. Sweet, loving Noel. Like Caius, he would do anything for her. He didn't even know that she would have to die. Caius hadn't told him. Yeul couldn't tell him because of the seeress' law. A seeress could not alter her fate. The consequences would be disastrous. Noel would have to find out on his own. She folded her small hands in front of her chest and pressed down as if it would stop the pain she felt for him.
"Yeul?" Noel called. Yeul opened her eyes to see him jogging toward her. Caius walked behind him at a steadier pace. The slightly proud grin on his face told her that Noel had made progress. She turned her eyes back to her best friend as he reached her. He tucked his swords back into their place as he stopped in front of her. "You alright?" He pants as he reaches her. Yeul smiles and nods.
'Liar,' she berated herself. She met Caius' eyes from over Noel's shoulder. He raised a single lilac eyebrow as he caught her looking.
"Noel," Caius spoke, "go hunt." The brunette looked over his shoulder at his mentor. Even though he wanted to protest, he didn't. They needed food; and he needed the practice if he wanted to bag something big for Yeul's birthday. He smiled slightly as he joked away from the small hut that the three of them called home.
Once the young man was far enough away, Caius knelt down in front of her. His purple eyes were filled with worry and that never ending fear. Yeul smiled sadly and tightened her hands in her lap. She hated to make him feel this way, but he had asked that she tell him this time.
"The end is near, Caius…" Yeul whispered to her guardian. He reached forward and wrapped his hand around hers.
"Noel is not ready yet…" Caius stated needlessly, desperately. 'Please, Etro, grant her more time!' He prayed that familiar prayer. Etro never answered. After her first death, Yeul died again and again once she reached the age fifteen.
While Caius spoke of Noel's fighting skills, Yeul thought of something else entirely. Noel was not ready to lose her; he never would be. Just as she wasn't ready to tell him goodbye. She had wanted to spend forever by his side no matter how irrational. The lifetimes had taught her the fate of Yeul very well. She was destined to die before she could even live. 'At least, I have lived more than my incarnations before me…I have had the joy of falling in love and knowing what it is like to be loved in return.' She thought. Her next reincarnation may not be so lucky. 'Please, cherish these memories just as I have…' A vicious howl in the distance pulled her away from her thoughts and back to the matter at hand. Caius' eyes were focused on her. The heartbreak in those purple eyes ate her up inside, but there was nothing she could do to change it. His words from just minutes before filtered back into her head: "Noel is not ready yet."
"I know…" Yeul admitted. Her words seemed to hold a deeper meaning. Caius felt his throat tighten up again. She squeezed his hand gently. 'I'm not ready either…' Yeul admitted quietly in her mind. To speak it out loud would bring him no comfort, only grief. Yeul had always faced her fate with resolution and expectance, but never readiness. Caius rose from his kneeling position to join her on the rock she sat on. She glanced over at her protector to see his determined expression. 'He will train Noel harder…push him farther than he has ever…' Yeul realized. "I wish to spend just one more day with the two of you. Free of violence if you please…"
"As you wish, Yeul," Caius promised her. He fell into his thoughts. He had been planning since he had met the young Noel Kreiss. His hopes, until recently, had lain all on that young man's shoulders. In the last year, he had begun to think of a new plan. One he had not told his seeress about. To change her fate was to commit the ultimate sin. To save her one would have to alter the timeline, possibly erase time itself. Caius closed his eyes. There was only one place such as that. It was called Valhalla.
"The day needs to happen soon." She spoke unaware of her guardian's thoughts. "Before my birthday." Caius only nodded.
She smothered the urge to cry as she forces her last vision into the Oracle Drive. The glass feels warm underneath her hand as it stores her vision in its memory. The urge to cry only grew as she heard his footsteps behind her. Noel was coming. She curled her fist tighter against her chest. He knelt next to her.
"Hey, Yeul! Are you okay?" He asked. The fear in his voice made her heart clench. He reached forward and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. The tenuous balance she had fought to maintain fell. She tumbled back into his arms like a small rag doll. He caught her. His knee supported her back. His hands rested on her shoulders. Yeul fought against the sluggishness that came with her death to open her eyes. She wanted…to see him…for one last time.
"Noel…" She breathed. The strength in her tone surprised her. "It's strange. I knew all along that this day was coming. But I'm still," she moved to raise her hand to her chest, but he caught her hand before she could. Her failing heart skipped a much needed beat. "Not ready… to say goodbye. I wish we could stay together. I'll miss you, Noel…" His pained face finally became too much for her. A tear made its way down his tanned cheek. Yeul fought the heavy feeling in her limbs and raised her hand to his cheek. He leaned into her hand. She swallowed. "You don't have to cry." He looked away from her wrist and back to her face. "We will," one his tears feel just underneath her own eye, "meet again…" She promised. It was the only reason she was not crying now. His tears rained down on her cheek. They would meet again. Her visions never lied. So, she smiled for him. It only wavered once her strength, her life left her.
Each Yeul knew her fate, but never were they ready. The halls of Valhalla shook as Yeul screamed out her pain for Etro to hear.