To Be Truly Strong
Summary: Sometimes Rock Lee just wants to stay down. Sometimes it is just too hard to get back up and continue his struggle for recognition. But he always does. For Rock Lee is truly strong, if nothing else.
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Rock Lee rolled to the left, narrowly avoiding the deceptively gentle open-palm thrust Neji had just tried to hit him with. He came out of the roll in a kneeling position. Neji didn't give him time to recover, though. Rock Lee was forced to move after Neji threw a kunai at him.
Rock Lee rolled to the left again, but had to quickly jump backwards to avoid Neji who, as always, knew exactly where Rock Lee was going to move to. His bloodline limit, the Byakugan, allowed him to relentlessly attack, giving Rock Lee no chance to counter-attack.
At this rate, Rock Lee cannot hope to last for long. He can't remove his training weights (after all, this IS training). He cannot open any of the eight gates (to use such a technique on an ally… should never happen). So the less than average Rock Lee is left nearly helpless against the genius Neji.
It is not long until Neji lands a solid hit on Lee. The impact can be heard throughout the training grounds, and Rock Lee is sent flying through the air. He has enough time to land on his feet… but chooses not to. What's the point of continuing a fight he cannot even dream of winning?
He hits the ground hard, and skids through several trees. Any normal person would be dead three times over after an attack like that. But ninjas are trained to be made of tougher stuff. Even so, most ninjas would have lost consciousness by now. Not Rock Lee, though. Devastating attacks are normal for him, the genius of hard work. No matter how many times he is knocked down, no matter how many times he fails to succeed, Rock Lee will rise up once more to try again.
It is expected of him. He inspires everyone around him. If a no-talent, dead last loser like him can try again, surely everyone else can too.
It is so hard, though. To stand up. To try again. To believe that if he just tries hard enough, he really can become a ninja. To live the lie that he is not depressed, and to make sure that everyone knows it.
Sometimes Rock Lee just wants to stay down. Sometimes, he just wants give in to the depression, that little voice in his head that tells him that he just can't do it. That he'll never be able to do it, no matter how hard he tries. No matter how long he trains. No matter how strongly he believes, because anything times nothing is still zero, and that's exactly how much talent Rock Lee has.
Neji is getting impatient. Rock Lee always took too long to stand up after getting hit. True, it was never more than a second or two, but that's a lot of time in the ninja world. Neji narrowed his eyes and waited for the attacks he was sure were soon to come.
Rock Lee gave a small mental sigh. He should be moving by now. He should be attacking Neji with everything he has. He should be shouting about how "the power of youth will conquer any obstacle." He should care about that fact that he isn't. But he doesn't.
Rock Lee sighed again. It was like this every time. Every time he had to get up after he was knocked down. Every time he felt his muscles scream in protest as he asked more of them than they were able to give. Every time he was told that he had no hope in hell of ever becoming any kind of ninja at all, let alone a good one. Every time Rock Lee had to convince himself that becoming a ninja was worth everything he put himself through.
The depression comes swooping down, smothering Rock Lee beneath its terrible weight. And in those instants, all of Rock Lee's hopes and dreams amount to less than nothing. In those instants, Rock Lee sees himself as the failure that everyone else seems to see. But Rock Lee is truly strong, if nothing else.
It is his duty to stand up and fight off the depression. And he always does. Without fail, Rock Lee has gotten back up to fight. That is his nindo, and he will not break it now.
Rock Lee struggles to find the will to stand up. Shakily, he pulls his legs under him, and maneuvers himself into a kneeling position. Taking strength from this small victory over the depression, Rock Lee stands up. Taking several deep breaths, Rock Lee steels himself for the continuing of his battle with Neji. It will not go well (it never does), but he will try all the same. That is what it means to be truly strong, after all. True strength is continuing to fight, even when there is no will left to do so. True strength is standing back up, even when your muscles are screaming for rest. True strength is finding a reason to live, even when there is none.
Rock Lee charges at Neji, screaming with anger that he does not feel. He sees how Neji's face relaxes, all signs of worry disappearing in an instant. Rock Lee takes a wild swing at Neji's face. He knows that he isn't going to hit Neji, and isn't at all surprised when Neji leans back just far enough to avoid being hit. Rock Lee tries to continue his attack, but it is not long until Neji hits a charka point in his leg, then follows up with a kick to Rock Lee's face. Rock Lee is sent flying backwards, again. Why should this time be different from any other one?
Once again, Rock Lee lets himself skid along the ground. Once again, Rock Lee is forced into a battle with depression. And once again, Rock Lee gets into his battle stance. The cycle is never ending, and one day Rock Lee will lose his battle with depression. But until that day, he will fight as hard as he can. For Rock Lee is truly strong, if nothing else.
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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Word Count: 1,017 words
A/N: This is the Rock Lee story I promised. I wrote over 1,000 words, but it was harder than I thought it would be. I'm happy with how this turned out, especially since I didn't like the story idea in the beginning. I'm currently working on a story about Naruto's precious people. If all goes well, it might turn into a multi-chapter story. Reviews are always appreciated. I'm also looking for a proof reader or two. I re-read my own stories, but I'm less likely to find my own mistakes than someone else. It will also be helpful to get other people's opinions on what I write before I release it to everyone. If you want to be a proof reader, send me a PM or include it in your comment. I'll send you PM's after that. Thank you for reading To Be Truly Strong.
PIIR-Pierrot