Chapter 1: Innocent beauty…
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in Yuu Yuu Hakusho, I just own her (the girl)
Mommy told me to be a good girl tonight
And tomorrow she'll show me the sky
Firefly, please keep me awake with your light
So I won't dream mommy told me a lie
"Why are you lying me, Firefly? I always knew sky is grey…Last time I saw it…it was grey…so grey…almost white…but still grey…my sky is grey, Firefly, my sky is grey...You know, I like my sky….grey…You always lied me…Firefly…always…but don't worry, I don't hate you for this…I'll never hate you…never…never, Firefly…never."
Never say never, my sweet Firefly
You're the only spark keeping me up
Today, please don't let me cry, sweet Firefly
Let my tears have their own way
Koenma's POV
"Are you sure you can do this?"
I would want to ask this on a firm, decided tone, but my voice betrayed just worry and anxiety.
"Hn. This can't stop me."
I had doubts, but I had no choice. I knew I shouldn't have got the detectives in this mess, but back then I couldn't find any other way out. I couldn't enter in that room alone, and at the same time my presence there was more than a duty…it was a need, firstly for me, but for her too.
How much I hated that hallway…the hallway that lead at only one room: the room where she was. I could hear every step I took. Every sound made me shiver, because my mind was drowned in thoughts every time I have been passing by that place. I could feel every second passing; time was passing through me, molding my conscience, giving it the perfect shape: the shape that made me regret, made me wish to let the tears flow freely every time I saw those innocent but poisonous eyes. Blood flowed painful and slowly in my body; I could hear it. Those blood that she wished so much to split.
That moment, the only thing I was sure about was the fact that the other detectives didn't have to find out anything about this. That's why I chose Hiei to come with me, he was the only one that wouldn't be interested. He wouldn't have asked who she is, and at the same time he was strong enough to resist in front of her innocence…Innocent beauty…How much lives she ended, how much destinies she destroyed…just with her beauty…Innocent beauty…
"Whatever happens, don't let her out and don't look into her eyes."
"Hn."
With every step we were getting closer. I stopped in front of the door to look back at Hiei once more.
"I'll ask you one more time: are you sure you can do this? Are you sure you don't want to give up?"
"Why are you hesitating? You're making me think that you're the one that can't do this. You're as vulnerable as a human. Hn. Pathetic."
Doesn't matter how much his words disturbed me, it was true. I stood in front of the metal door a few minutes, but for me it felt like forever. A human…Just a human…
I reached for the doorknob slowly to open it, and I stopped when I touched the cold metal. I didn't stop because the cold thrills were filling my body paralyzing me slowly, but because I heard her voice. She was singing.
Mommy told me to be a good girl tonight
And tomorrow she'll show me the sky
Firefly, please keep me awake with your light
So I won't dream mommy told me a lie
Her voice was so clear, it wasn't hiding anything, no feeling, no worry, no dream…That moment I wished to erase the time and repair all the mistakes I made in the past, I wished to die for giving life to the things I killed in the past: her so innocent soul…
Finally I found the needed courage to open the door, but I wasn't prepared for what I was about to see, and I knew this. For the first time I saw amazement on Hiei's face. Decided, unmerciful, never hesitating…even if he was always coldhearted, ready to destroy to fulfill his goals, I could say he was shocked just glancing at his eyes once threatening and forceful.
He was the first to enter the room, and I followed him closing the door. I waited to see what was he going to do next, but he had no reaction. He kept staring at the girl that was laying down, on the floor, looking up at the white-grey ceiling, with he hand at both sides of her head. In his left hand she was holding, as always, three glass balls of different colors. Her eyes, a calm deep blue and vivid green at the same time, weren't hiding anything. She was like a calm sea at the surface, but with a storm inside. She wasn't moving, not even a bit, not showing any feeling, she was like a doll, empty inside. Her room was simple, not with many colors, just with shades of grey and blue. The bed was untouched and on it were some stuffed toys, ripped or tied. It was a grizzly sight. The window was opened, letting inside a frozen breeze. In that room you felt defenseless.
Her voice ripped the deafening silence that filled the room.
"You know, Firefly…it's been a long time…since I've last seen…the stars…you remind me, Firefly…you told me that stars…can be seen only night…you remind me a lot of things, Firefly…but I forgave you every time…because I'm happy…here, with you…
She had a staccato voice, just her lips were moving slowly. It was a torture for me, five years ago that voice was vivid, filled with enthusiasm and happiness, but I made it be a sound that fills any room with the desperation and fear of the people inside…every people but her. She didn't have those feeling since I locked her in that damned room, she lost any of her thoughts, any light in her eyes that made her human. I hated every day of my life since then.
Hiei still had no reaction. He went towards the door and stopped in front of it, looking at me.
"Finish your work here so I can leave."
Short and clear. That was what I wanted to do, get Hiei out of there as fast as possible. I took a few steps towards her, I bent down on my knees beside her still figure and I tried to spoke to her slowly, to get her attention.
"Chiaki, do you hear me?"
It looked like I was talking to no one. She didn't notice me, or she didn't want to do it. I tried again.
"Chiaki, please answer me, I came o see how are you feeling today"
I expected no answer again, and it didn't come. She just looked at me for a few seconds. My efforts were futile.
"Do you hate me that much, Chiaki?"
There was a break after that, and I took it as an affirmative answer. She was looking at Hiei, she fixed him with her gaze, like a haunter that found his pray, ready to kill it. But her eyes were too innocent to be a haunter's. Innocent beauty…Hiei did nothing, he was just answering her with a gaze as intense as hers. I was afraid, I was scared of what could happen next, and the only thing I thought I could do in that moment was distracting her from the demon at the door.
"Chiaki, please listen to me!"
Then she closed her eyes. She looked lifeless, and breathe was the only proof that she was alive. She opened her eyes slowly, but this time she was looking at me.
"Hate should be all I have left now, but I'm happy as long as I can't hate… Not even you…"
I was so happy that I wanted to cry. Now I knew that, after all that happened, maybe she forgave me and it was a chance for her to get better, to get rid of that innocent craziness. I took her in my arms and I hugged her with so much love.
"Be a good girl, sweetie…"
"See, firefly? Daddy is telling me to be a good girl too!"