Tina bights her nails as the teacher draws nearer. At every desk he lays down a paper and while no one can see the grades they have an idea by his face. He offers a smile or congrats to the smart kids while those who failed might get a sad look or a hand on the shoulder. She's bighting her nails, a bad habit that's made her cuticles bleed, but she can't help herself in such a stressful situation. He's two desks away and she feels like she knows how she did before he even looks at her, before he puts his hand on her shoulder squeezing as he passes her. Turning over the paper only tells her how bad it is. Across the top in red is a big D and the note, "see me after class". That's not good. Worse than she had thought. She studied so hard all week and yet didn't even get a C.
When the bell rings for lunch Tina packs her bag slowly and breathes deeply. Facing Mr. Hamilton with a book clutched to her chest she sounds like an expectant mother so she tries to lower her breathing but all that results in is a moan.
"Are you alright Tina?" Mr. Hamilton asks, his eyebrows drawing together like two fuzzy caterpillars.
She's still breathing like a woman in labor so she simply nods and tries to smile. No telling how wrong that one went, but by Mr. Hamilton's surprised caterpillars, very wrong indeed.
"Well, I just wanted to talk to you about your grade. You need four math credits to graduate at the end of the year and if you don't start doing better in class it looks like you might have to go to summer school. That means you wouldn't be able to walk." Her eyes begin to tear up and breathing is getting harder as he says, "There are resources available, math club does tutoring and then there's at least one study group I know of, as well as…"
At this point Tina couldn't handle being around Mr. Hamilton any longer and forced out the words, "I'm sorry, I have a meeting right now. I have to go!" before shoving the door open and stumbling into the hallway. It feels like she can't draw enough breath and her vision is getting blurry. Thank god no one is around, but she desperately needs a bathroom! Shoving open the big blue door she almost falls through it before dragging herself over to the handicap stall while clutching her chest and moaning like another contraction is fast approaching. Locking the door and curling up on the floor she doesn't even worry about what terrible stains are on the floor. Is that gum? Is that piss? It doesn't matter. All that matters is survival. All that matters is breathing. In and out, in and out. Eyes closed so tight there are black explosions on the lids, time becomes nonconsequential as her breathing finally slows.
Getting off the floor she goes out to the mirror and finds there was indeed gum on the floor and now its in her hair. Turning to go back to the stall and grab her scissors she sees smoke rising from the stall next to hers.
"Are you okay in there?"
"Shit, shit, shit! Fine!"
"Zeke? Are you sure? What's that smoke?"
Zeke throws open the door with a smile, "Tina-girl! You had me worried there a second. I thought you might be a teacher or a narc."
"What were you doing in there?" She asks tilting her head to hide the gum.
"Hell! I should be asking you what your doing in the boys bathroom!" He laughs and smiles at her good naturedly, with a wink he asks, "Trying to catch a peek?"
"No! Uhhhh… I'll tell you if you tell me?" She asks him, hoping he'll just forget about it.
"Okay! I was just smoking a joint my cousin gave me. Helps with stress."
"Ha! I could use some stress help. I kind of just had a panic attack because I might not pass my math class. Don't tell anyone though!"
"Well, come on then! Let me help you out girl!" Zeke says smiling as he grabs Tina's hand and pulls her into the handicap stall once more.
"How does it work?" Tina asks looking at the joint with fear in her eyes.
"You just put this end in your mouth and suck." Zeke demonstrates pulling in, holding it while he counts to five on his fingers and then smoothly blowing the smoke out.
"I don't know… Are you sure it'll help?"
"Totally. It just makes you happy, maybe a little hungry too."
"Okay…" Taking the joint Tina pulls in and immediately has a coughing fit. Zeke howls with laughter! Finally calming down he says, "Here, let me help you. I'll shotgun you, that means I'll just blow it in your mouth."
Tina opens her mouth like a fish making Zeke laugh again before he pulls on the joint once more. Leaning forward with a cautious look in his eyes his lips lightly brush hers sending a shock through her arms and making her mouth open wider as she gasps. And it was a perfectly timed gasp too because that's when the smoke begins to pass. It creeps slowly into her mouth and she pulls it in like a vacuum. Cheeks big she tries to hold it for five seconds like Zeke did but she begins coughing on three.
Tina leans against the wall of the stall as she feels a cold tingling spreading throughout her forehead. "Wow" she says before beginning to giggle. With pink cheeks Zeke agrees, "For sure." He takes another drag before asking, "Do you want to try again? If not I can shotgun you…" Tina hardly stops to think, after all Zeke's lips tingled while drawing straight from the joint burned, its an easy choice. "Can you shotgun me again?"
A smoky haze builds in the stall despite the open window as Zeke breathes out tickling Tina's lips. Skipping his turn he shotguns her again. "This might be my best high ever" he mumbles as he pulls away. Bloodshot eyes lock and understanding lights as Tina reaches up to hook her hand behind Zeke's neck and pull him in for a kiss. "Same" she barely manages to whisper before he pulls her in again for another kiss. And that remains true when they walk hand in hand to the cafeteria. It remains true when her oatmeal cream pie tastes like heaven and she begins to moan while others laugh. It even remains true when she begins laughing in her history class and the teacher sends her to the office where the principle sniffs her before calling her mom. And its still true on the long ride home full of angry lectures and huffy silences. It was definitely worth it. When she gets home she finally cuts the gum out of her hair and happily puts it into her treasure chest.