Title: Your Place or Myspace?
Rated: K+
Pairing: Joseph/Clarisse
Disclaimer: I do not own Princess Diaries or its characters. I do however own my own imagination and Hector Elizondo's smile! I don't own Myspace either but come on doesn't everyone have a page?
Summary: At his wit's end Joseph meets a new friend on Myspace. She has some advice on how to win the Queen over with some hilarious complications. Involves mud, a black eye, text messaging for dummies, and romance right out of a Cary Grant movie. Fly the "Real" lovebirds!"
"You may enter my royal bed chamber." Mia said in response to the knock at her door.
"Darling! I'm so sorry I couldn't be here when you arrived. The parliament meetings run longer and longer these days. Lord Palimore sleeps through most of the meetings and then insists we repeat everything."
"No worries Grandma. I was just uploading pictures from the trip Lily and I took to New York City last month."
Clarisse sat down next to her granddaughter on the sofa, watching her clicking on different windows on the laptop.
"What is this?" Clarisse asked pointing to a screen with stars, sparkles, and a picture of Fat Louie.
"Myspace."
"You have your own place?" She asked confused.
"Sorta. This is my profile. You can design it with wallpaper, pictures, music videos and other fun stuff."
"And what are these smaller pictures down here?"
"Those are my top ten friends. This one is Lily, Charlotte, Joseph, Michael, and Jeremiah. And this one is Fat Louie. He is a popular kitty with 908 friends."
"Joseph has a space?"
Mia giggled understanding that her grandmother wasn't technologically savvy yet.
"Well he said he felt better if he knew I was protected online too so he setup a page for himself. He's really a computer whiz. Let me show you."
She clicked on the page and waited for it to load. The black background loaded first. There was a picture of a Harley that was blue with black stripes. His main image showed him on his Harley in his black leather jacket and shades, with a black bandana over his head. The user name listed was Shadow Racer. The song playing was "Layla" by Eric Clapton. He had a slide show going with pictures of Mia, Charlotte and his best friend Dominic Ragusa, his black lab named Spock, different motorcycles he owned or had owned, and some funny pictures he'd taken of himself with his cell phone trying to look serious.
"Interesting, and are these more pictures here?" She said pointing to the menu under his main photo.
Mia knew she was looking for pictures of herself. There were different albums mostly related to his slide show. Then there was an album with two crossed swords over it that read "For My Use Only"
"What's in this one?" Clarisse asked intrigued.
"I don't know. No one can get into it and he won't say what's in it either."
"Well one thing about Joseph, he's always been a private person. I'm not surprised that he has a secret picture album too."
"Hey Grandma, we could set you up a page."
"I don't think so. You know I'm not very good with computers."
"I could help you."
"No that's quite all right. I will just take the pleasure of seeing yours every so often. Now Maurice was promised a walk this afternoon. Would you care to walk with me? Joseph hasn't returned yet from Philligran."
"Let's roll."
A month later…..
Joseph grabbed his laptop and sunk into his oversized bean bag chair. His dog Spock lay at his feet. He popped the pc card into his laptop and fired it up. His email was fairly uneventful just a joke from his sister and Shades security report from the previous week. He decided to pop onto Myspace. He hadn't had time lately and he wanted to see if Mia was fairing better in school. He smiled as he saw her comment.
First day back at school and already I am ready to quit. Getting up at 6am is murder. At least they built a Java Junkie by my apartment otherwise I'd doze off in Spanish. How is Grandma? Tell Charlotte thanks for sending me rations. The lotion they make in Lavania is not like anything here. Fat Louie says he will comment you later. NM on Charlotte I will comment her page myself. I found a video of John Goodman singing from the movie Blues Brothers 2000 and I know she will drool all over the keyboard when she sees it. Tell Ragu I said hey and I'll text you later. Love you Joe-E lol
Joe laughed but with mixed emotion. He hated that Mia was so far away. Pierre and Phillepe had been like his own sons and when Phillepe died he felt like part of him had died too. When Mia came into the picture as out of place as a rooster at a cow convention, he felt like the missing piece was restored. He had lost a son but gained a granddaughter.
Moving on to his friend requests he found one from a band called Dishwater Bubbles and another from Strawberry Sunsets. The picture was that of Grace Kelly. Intrigued he checked out Dishwater Bubbles and really liked their 70's sound and then over to Strawberry Sunsets. He laughed when he opened pics of her and found them all to be of Grace Kelly. Her profile suggested that she resembled Grace Kelly if she were alive today and that she loved men like Cary Grant. Cary had always been Joseph's favorite actor. He decided to add her to his friends. He sent a comment on her page.
I am guessing that your favorite movie is "To Catch a Thief as it has Grace and Cary in it. I like your page. Thank for the add. My name is Joseph but you can call me Joe.
He submitted the request, played some online chess and then logged off.
"C'mon boy, let's go for a walk."
The dog stretched and then ran to Joseph's room. He returned with his leash in his mouth. It was the best trick Joe had taught him.
"If I thought you were any smarter, I'd have to question your motives." Spock sat patiently and wagged his tail.
Joseph wasn't sure if Spock enjoyed their walks more or if he did. What they both looked forward to was running into Clarisse and Maurice out on their walks. Today, neither of them would be disappointed.
"Hello Joseph. Hello Spock my sweet puppy dog." She said reaching for the black dog. "Did you enjoy your day off?"
"That's a two-sided question but yes mostly. Dom and went down to Bakerstown to race dirt bikes. I'm telling you the man is built like a refrigerator, but he sails in the air like he was Superman! Then we went over to Uncle Pauly's shop and helped him rebuild the engine of a 1966 Shelby Mustang. I think I might buy it. I love driving Mia's car. Anyway Dom and I parted company around five and I came home to walk my monster here."
"A full day makes it all seem grand. You race motorcycles? Isn't that dangerous?"
"Dirt bikes and only if you crash!" He said laughing.
The worry on her face spoke volumes.
"Did anyone ever tell you that you worry too much?"
"My mother."
"A smart AND beautiful woman!"
She knew what he meant and it made her blush slightly. She was going to say something in response when Spock and Maurice began chasing each other barking happily. Clarisse was knocked off her feet and Joseph's quick reflexes stopped her from going down. He helped her gain her footing and relished holding her for another minute.
"Silly dogs." She said trying to gain composure.
"I've always dreamt of holding you in my arms but that isn't quite what I expected." He didn't wait for her reaction. "C'mon Spock you big gorilla, lets go get some steak. Good night your Majesty."
Clarisse prayed he wouldn't turn around and he didn't but the smirk on his face was enough to light up the dark sky of Genovia.