"I aint never been ashamed to talk about how small my nuck sack is because I got a really big dick," said the Beaver. "But then I met the girl of my dreams on adultfriendfinder-dot-com. So hot! She had big, giant tits, the pinkest nipples-a giant bush too; i love that-but then she tells me that she ain't one bit impressed with my giant slong. She's all about balls, the bigger the better. All she cares about in life is sack. You see, she was a sack hag."

Mr Capote squirmed uncomfortably. "Who did you say you came here with?" It was the Vidal Sasson Fancy Delights Soiree. Mr Capote was the star guess, but no one at the party could confirm for him who this Beaver man was. "You're simply a delight," said Captoe.

"Gee thanks, mister," said the Beaver, picking at his ass through his pants. "If you think I'm cool, you should checkout adultfriendfinder-dot-com."

"A dear friend of mine was killed messing around on adultfriendfinder-dot-com," said Capote.

"Oh, sure, people get killed on there all the time," said the Beaver. "But that's the chance we take when we follow our hearts."

Capote nodded solemnly. "He was innocently luring heterosexual men to his apartment for fellatio," said Capote, "but through some unholy confluence of randy and rotten luck, his wig fell off."

Beaver gulped.

"He was murdered," said Capote, "cut down in his prime at the tender age of 71 by a man who only moments earlier was singing of the virtues of his womanly qualities. The whole event was captured on video. Care to watch?"

"You sure are a creep, Mr. Capote," said Beaver.

Capote tittered with delight, but in his excitement, he shit his pants a little bit. He panicked. His eyes shifted nervously.

The Beaver laughed. "Gosh mister, you stink."

"Adultfriendfinder-dot-com," said Capote, nervously."Please continue..."

"Oh, yeah, adultfriendfinder-dot-com is the best," said the Beaver. "One time I agreed to meet up with this woman I'd been talking to on there, but when I got to her house, it turned out she weren't a woman at all, but rather a gang of about twenty Cholo teenagers. Weren't none of them women either. They pulled me out of my car in the driveway.

Capote gulped.

I was a hostage for 6 days, and I was lucky to have escaped with my life, but it was the best sex I ever had. Cholo's have barbed penises, like cats."

"Penile spines," said Capote. "Sure, I know all about that. I use to date an Echidna."

"An Echidna?" said the Beaver, and he gagged. "You dated a virus that makes you shit until you die?"

"No, that's Eboli," said Capote. "An Echidna is a dog that lays eggs."

"Whatever floats you boat," said the Beaver, and he shrugged. "All I knows is that adultfriendfinder-dot-com is a great place to meet all different kinds of things that got holes that you can stick it in, and that also got dongs and such hanging off of them that they'll stick in your holes too if you ask nicely."