Just So You Know, a glee fanfic

Just So You Know

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee nor the Dalton-verse characters. They belong to Ryan Murphy and CP Coulter respectively.

Things hadn't been right for Julian Larson.

He had scripts to memorize, he had to work out some guts to tell his best friend a.k.a the annoying Stuart Prefect, Logan Wright about his feelings, and oh, did he mention he had a stalker?

Who happened to be one of his fanboys, Adam.

Who had successfully killed Dwight, the one who figured it all out when Julian was too blind to see his plans.

God…things are messed up…

Julian had attended Dwight's funeral that day, carefully avoiding all the teary gazes of the Windsors and some of the Hanovers. The Stuarts stayed stony-faced throughout the whole proceedings, but Julian knew.

The pain of losing a classmate was there.

Kurt's face was the one Julian couldn't forget. It was so full of pain, sorrow and remembrance; Julian instantly knew that Kurt was far too familiar with funerals.

Logan was nowhere to be seen, though. And Julianneededto see him. He needed Logan to hold him, to whisper in his ear that everything's not his fault despite the fact that he convinced that everything was indeed his fault.

He remembered when Adam started to scream, to demandthat Julian tell Logan his true feelings towards him. He remembered how shocked, how scared Logan looked.

And the pain started once again.

He didn't mean to fall in love with the prefect. Logan was the most obnoxious person he had ever met. Yet…

My heart's stupid enough to fall in love with him…

The sky started to darken above him. And soon, raindrops fell; landed on his hair and running down his cheeks, like leaving tracks of fresh tears.

Julian loved the rain. He adored being underneath the rain and simply stand there, letting his pain wash away. He let his thoughts take over his mind; green eyes, blond hair and that familiar smirk covering every inch of it.

Before he knew it, Julian started to sing.

I shouldn't love you but i want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but i can't move
I can't look away

The moment Julian realized his feelings for Logan, he couldn't change them back.

And I don't know how to be fine when i'm not
Cause I don't know how to make the feelings stop

But, everyday he wished he could. Just make the pain of being unnoticed end.

Just so you know
This feelings takin control
Of me and i can't help it
I wont sit around
I can't let him win now
Though you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gutta say it all before you go
Just so you know

It's gettin hard to
Be around you
There's so much I can't say
And do you want me to hide the feelings
And look away

Every time he's Logan, he felt as if he's keeping a huge secret. A secret he couldn't bring himself to tell.

And I don't know how to be fine when i'm not
Cause I don't know how to make the feelings stop

This emptiness is killin me
I'm wonderin why i've waited so long
Lookin' back I realize it was always there to be spoken
Now I'm waitin here
Been waitin here

The loneliness was gnawing Julian from the inside. Even when he distracted himself with lots of work, it was still there, growing each day.

Just so you know
This feelings takin control
Of me and i can't help it
I wont sit around
I can't let him win now
Though you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But i don't want to
I just gutta say it all before you go
Just so you know

Julian nearly jumped out of his skin when a pair of strong arms suddenly wrapped around his waist.

"I'm sorry," a voice whispered. A voice he knew far, far too well.

"Lo?"

"I'm sorry," Logan repeated. "I was too blind to see the pain you've been holding within yourself. I'm sorry, Jules,"

Logan sounded so broken, so raw,Julian couldn't stop his tears from spilling. Sobs wrecked through his body as he cried; as if the shackles to his feelings had been broken, ripped apart.

Abruptly, almost without his mind's consent, Julian turned and buried himself in Logan's chest, tears soaking the white fabric of his dress shirt.

"You're an idiot," Julian choked. "A selfish, inconsiderate idiot! You don't care about my feelings, ignoring me or mocking me or-"

"I know, I know," Logan murmured.

"And yet," Julian sucked in a sharp breath, fingers clutching Logan's shirt. "I can't bring myself to hate you. I just had to fall in love with you, instead!"

Logan didn't reply for a long minute. Wordlessly, he tilted Julian's chip up and leaned in, capturing his lips into a kiss.

The kiss was silent, yet pleading and desperate. Julian groaned and deepened the kiss; brushing lips, tasting tongue and salty tears, contact of teeth.

And in the midst of all that, Julian swore he could hear the silent message Logan passed though the contact of lips.

Just so you know…I'm sorry and I love you…

A/N: Angst! *blows into tissue* OMG, why? LOL, please leave some review before doing anything else!