Authors note: I ship SquirrelxAsh pretty hard, so finally I can do a fanfiction about them (but no pairing) :P I thought, Ashfur regretted his actions afterwards, soooo that is what this story is about. Hehe. Set after Sunrise (Power of the Three arc) and before The Fourth Apprentice (Omen of the Stars arc) Hope you like it :)
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN WARRIORS!
A pale grey tom sat hunched by the river, gazing into the emerald green depths. His ears were folded back, and his dark blue eyes glistened with emotion. A dark ginger she-cat slid across his vision, and he felt like choking. Oh, Squirrelflight... He shut his eyes, and shook his head, trying to get rid of Squirrelflight's face. But he couldn't. Her face stayed imprinted in his mind, and slowly, Lionblaze's golden tabby face appeared, then Jayfeather, then...Hollyleaf. He could remember, as clear as day, when he felt her jet black fur under his claws. He remembered the ferocity of her snarl and the hate in her eyes as she pushed him over the edge, and plummeting to his death...
Ashfur looked up. Was it really worth it? Should he have held such spite against Squirrelflight for going with her heart? Should he have endangered her life, and her 'kits'? What if she had died? What if he actually killed Lionblaze, Jayfeather and Hollyleaf? How could hurting someone be pleasurable to him? Ashfur hung his head. He was ashamed.
Ashamed of himself.
His actions.
His thoughts.
His pettiness.
Ashamed that he had not respected Squirrelflight for her decision.
Ashamed about everything horrible he had ever done to the ginger she-cat.
He knew that by confronting them, he had ruined Squirrelflight's relationship with Brambleclaw. He had made her unhappy. Made Squirrelflights life horrible. The words reverberated in his head. Because of him Squirrelflight, the love of his life, was depressed, with the love of her life gone. Ashfur felt guilt press down on his shoulders like a dead weight. A single tear dripped into the pristine water, and water rippled around it. Ashfur stayed like that for a moment, staring, into nothing, long after the ripple in the water was gone.
Why do you care? She left a hole in your heart that no one could mend. That tiny little voice in his head whispered. Ashfur hated that little voice. It was the voice that egged him on to say those words "I will kill your kits". It was the voice that told him to hurl angry remarks at Squirrelflight when she tried to explain that they could not be together. It was the voice that had him constantly scold Squirrelflight's 'kit' Lionblaze during his apprenticeship to him. It was the voice of pure spite. Of hate. The bad side of Ashfur. The angry, sad part of Ashfur, which hated Squirrelflight. The side of him which had taken over after Squirrelflight's rejection. The side of him that took control of whatever he said to her, her mate and her so called 'kits'. The horrible, cruel, twisted side of him.
Ashfur felt his heart swell with anger and sorrow. He hated himself. Why had he been such a fox-hearted tom? Why had he been so flea-brained, so overcome with anger that he could not understand that Squirrelflight loved another? He had been so narrow-minded. So petty. So kit-like. He thought that Squirrelflight was his, and his only.
That hole in his heart; it still had not mended. But nothing could be done. What was he supposed to do if Squirrelflight was destined to be with Brambleclaw? He did not have to hold a constant grudge against her. Ashfur looked out to the bank of the river opposite him. He could see her, the beautiful dark ginger she-cat, green eyes blazing with confidence and happiness. Next to her, a dark brown tabby tom, an exact copy of Tigerstar.
Tigerstar.
Ashfur had hated Brambleclaw for that. For being Tigerstar's son, for being the son of the cat who killed his mother, although he was not like him at all. Ashfur was blind with hate, and so blind he could not see past Brambleclaw's looks, and look at the loyal and brave cat inside. He should have...he should have done a lot of things.
He should have been happy that Squirrelflight was with a great cat, even if it was not him.
He should not have let hatred blind him.
He should not have hurt Squirrelflight because she did what her heart told her to do.
If only he had been more forgiving. More accepting. More kind.
He remembered when Firestar gave him his warrior name. He had said that StarClan would honour him for his kindness and nobility. In his long quarrel with Squirrelflight, he had not lived up to any of the virtues. He had failed StarClan. He had failed Firestar. He had failed Squirrelflight.
And that night, at the Gathering. Squirrelflight's desperation to save the cats she loved. The cats he tore away from her. Their anger. Hollyleaf's revenge. And whatever he went through, whatever he did, he would never forget, that wall of fire.
Yay! First one shot done :) Hopefully you like it! :D AshxSquirrel forevs :3
-Cloudy.